Bob Denman
New member
Please; take them home, and pass them out to your friends! :thumbup: 
-
There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
Got fired from a hot dog stand...
It seems that I couldn't cut the mustard!
It seems that I couldn't cut the mustard!
Bob Denman
New member
I worked for a Brassiere Manufacturer for a while...
They went bust. :shocked:
They went bust. :shocked:
Bob Denman
New member
I once worked in a bird sanctuary for Owls...
Now THAT was a real hoot!
Now THAT was a real hoot!
Bob Denman
New member
I worked for a manufacturer of elevators for a little while...
I couldn't make a career out of it; business was just too "Up and Down".
I couldn't make a career out of it; business was just too "Up and Down".
Bob Denman
New member
ottawa-rider
Member
More Blondes
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD]
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD]A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
what have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
she would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
& I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?'
'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants.....
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000..00
to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out..
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I
just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD]
[TABLE="width: 100%"]
[TR]
[TD]A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
listening to the next door neighbor's dog..
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says,
"I've had enough of this".
She goes downstairs.
The blonde finally comes back up to bed
and her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
what have you been doing?"
The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard,
let's see how THEY like it!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding,
she would reach into her nail
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
& I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting
off your finger?'
'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants.....
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor.
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000..00
to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.'
+++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out..
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies,
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
'Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I
just received a horrible call from my
sister. Her mother died, too!'
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
Bob Denman
New member
:clap:
Here's some refills for you! :thumbup:
http://www.jumbojoke.com/the_top_500_dumb_blonde_jokes.html
Here's some refills for you! :thumbup:
http://www.jumbojoke.com/the_top_500_dumb_blonde_jokes.html
Spyder_Cowgirl
GOS member (Girls On Spyders)
Money
Heard this somewhere ... years ago ... no idea who deserves credit!
"That money talks, I won't deny. I heard it once, it said 'goodbye'!"
Best Regards .... Ann
Heard this somewhere ... years ago ... no idea who deserves credit!
"That money talks, I won't deny. I heard it once, it said 'goodbye'!"
Best Regards .... Ann
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Ain't that, the awful truth??
bruiser
New member
We've all been there.
A friend was trying to get on a website to buy a product,
but she was having difficulties setting her password.
The interchange went as follows:
"Please create your password below."
roses
"Sorry, too few characters."
pretty roses
"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."
1 pretty rose
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
1prettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."
1friggingprettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."
1FRIGGINGprettyrose
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."
1FriggingPrettyRose
"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."
1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightNow!
"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."
1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNow
"Sorry, that password is already in use".
A friend was trying to get on a website to buy a product,
but she was having difficulties setting her password.
The interchange went as follows:
"Please create your password below."
roses
"Sorry, too few characters."
pretty roses
"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."
1 pretty rose
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
1prettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."
1friggingprettyrose
"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."
1FRIGGINGprettyrose
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."
1FriggingPrettyRose
"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."
1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightNow!
"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."
1FriggingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNow
"Sorry, that password is already in use".
Chupaca
New member
So true..!!
Been there to many times and some times I add a number and they say already taken so I go up one number and so on and are amazed at how many there are as I reach like 20...:roflblack:
Been there to many times and some times I add a number and they say already taken so I go up one number and so on and are amazed at how many there are as I reach like 20...:roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
Most folks don't like to type-out obscenities... :shocked:
If you can work them in as a password: :thumbup:
If you can work them in as a password: :thumbup:
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