Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[Bob Denman]

Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 pm, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what's there; a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me three times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... SO, are you telling me I shouldn't go?"

Edna: "NO, NO, NO... I'm just saying, wear an old dress." :yikes:

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[Bob Denman]

:2thumbs:

 

[Indyron]

Amazing research on beer consumption...

Amazing Fact about Beer

This is scary. The same stuff might be in wine. Better to confine
a guy's intake to bourbon, scotch, rum, vodka, gin and other
hormone-free liquors.

As Ronald Reagan said: Why take that chance?

This is alarming. Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!

Last month, MontrealUniversity and scientists released the
results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female
hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer
consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops
contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn
into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 10 schooners of beer within
a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:

1) Argued over nothing.

2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

3) Gained weight.

4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional

6) Couldn't drive.

7) Failed to think rationally, and

8) Had to sit down while urinating.

No further research was considered necessary!

 

[bruiser]

another golf story

These two guys were approaching the first tee. The first guy goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball?"
He draws a green golf ball out of his bag. "You can't lose it."
His friend replies, "What do you mean you can't lose it?!"
The first man replies, "I'm serious, you can't lose it. If you hit it into the woods, it makes a beeping sound, if you hit it into the water it produces bubbles, and if you hit it on the fairway, smoke comes up in order for you to find it."
Obviously, his friend doesn't believe him, but he shows him all the possibilities until he is convinced.
The friend says, "Wow! That's incredible! Where did you get that ball?!"
The man replies, "I found it."

 

[Bob Denman]

And I don't even play golf!!

 

[bruiser]

I use to. But I kept loosing my balls.

 

[Bob Denman]

Limber Up!

 

[Daisyjoe]

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.

 

[SNOOPY]

:roflblack:

 

[SNOOPY]

.

 

[Bob Denman]

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack: :2thumbs:

 

[retread]

A farmer stopped at his neighbor's house one winter afternoon, and told the neighbor "I don't want your boy around my girl anymore!"
The neighbor was surprised, 'my boy told me he was going to marry her."
"Well, when he brought her home last night, he took a leak near my house, and wrote her name in the snow!"
"What's wrong with that."
"it was in her handwritng!"



john

 

[SNOOPY]

Ohsnap!

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[Bob Denman]

(Don't try this one at home... :roflblack

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[SNOOPY]