• There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.

Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

Winning the lottery

A guy comes home one day and asks his wife, "If I were to win the lottery, what would you do?"
"I'd take my half and leave you far behind!"
"Good. I just won $12. Here's your six!"

:roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack: :roflblack:
 
Magical Summer Memories...

Boy Scout Letter...


Dear Mom,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got
worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.
Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam
when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay.
He can't write because of the cast.
I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great.
We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster
Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone.
Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire, so he probably didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, it will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn,
but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.
Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed.
It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left.
Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break
down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a super bus.
He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers.
It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in
the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us. Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy.
Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads
where there aren't any cops and all we ever see are those huge logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids.
Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink
because of his cast which is concrete because we didn't have any plaster, So Scoutmaster
Ted let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under
the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters.
He didn't even get mad that we didn’t use the life jackets.
He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any
trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges.
When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from
the left-over chicken.
He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.
I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.
He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo.
Don't worry about anything.
We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
 
Last edited:
Bob Denman said:
Boy Scout Letter...


Dear Mom,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and got
worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.
Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam
when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay.
He can't write because of the cast.
I got to ride in one of the search and rescue Jeeps. It was great.
We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster
Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone.
Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire, so he probably didn't hear him.
Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, it will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn,
but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.
Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed.
It wasn't his fault about the crash. The brakes worked okay when we left.
Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break
down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a super bus.
He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the bumpers.
It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in
the trailer until the policeman stopped and talked to us. Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy.
Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Horace how to drive on the mountain roads
where there aren't any cops and all we ever see are those huge logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids.
Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink
because of his cast which is concrete because we didn't have any plaster, So Scoutmaster
Ted let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under
the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters.
He didn't even get mad that we didn’t use the life jackets.
He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any
trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges.
When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we all got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steve and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it was probably just food poisoning from
the left-over chicken.
He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison.
I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster.
He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
By the way, what is a pedal-file?
I have to go now. We are going to town to post our letters and buy some more beer and ammo.
Don't worry about anything.
We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.
Click to expand...
​"Hello Mudder. Hello Fodder."
 
Scotsman

A Scotsman moves to the USA and attends his first baseball game.
The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double.

Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!"
The next batter hits a single.
The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!".
The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.
The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by,
The Umpire calls: "Walk."
The batter starts his slow trot to first base.
The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard, run!"
The people around him begin laughing.
Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down.
A friendly fan notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he has four balls."
The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!"











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Last edited:
A blonde city girl named Katy marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Katy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"


The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. "I came to inseminate the cow, he said." Katy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Katy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, because I'm dying to know. How would you know that this is the right cow to be bred?" "That's simple," says Katy. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" Katy turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on!"



​
 
Nail

A blonde city girl named Katy marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Katy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"


The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. "I came to inseminate the cow, he said." Katy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Katy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, because I'm dying to know. How would you know that this is the right cow to be bred?" "That's simple," says Katy. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" Katy turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on!"


 
Uh!

Gator37 said:
A blonde city girl named Katy marries a Texas rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Katy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows, so I drove a nail into the 2x4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"


The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. "I came to inseminate the cow, he said." Katy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Katy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me, lady, because I'm dying to know. How would you know that this is the right cow to be bred?" "That's simple," says Katy. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently. Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "And what, pray tell, is the nail for?" Katy turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, "I guess it's to hang your pants on!"
Click to expand...

in the dictionary under the listing for Redundant, it reads: Please see Redundant.
 
The Jewish Quarterback

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Baltimore Ravens.
The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback.
He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European
Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then, one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a
truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story
window, that was a 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!", The Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect Arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.
And the Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach
asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his Mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says." You are
not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads.
"I've won the greatest sporting event in the entire World.
I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there
are gunshots all around us.
The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch
of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't
get attacked!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Baltimore !!!!
 
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