It's Friday..... time for some questions

[DLewis]

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Have a good day...Life is good! :doorag::roflblack:













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This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are considered confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual(s) or entity(s) to whom they are addressed. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.

 

[spydermyke990]

Sounds like questions that the late george carlin (RIP) would ask!!:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

All of them are good points to ponder.

I'll get right on it! :roflblack:

 

[Chupaca]

Good one..!!

So many questions...so when can we expect the answers..?? :roflblack::roflblack:

 

[ARtraveler]

Those are very good questions to ponder. :2thumbs:

 

[Bob Denman]

...Pondering away...

 

[harrypottar]

Can you cry under water?
Yes you can especially if you are in a diving bell, helmet or scuba goggles(Mask)

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Assassinated comes from the Italian word assassino meaning assassin if you are killed by an Italian and they are a professional or just did a super job of it you have been assassinated.
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
The cost for your thought is indeed a penny however the second penny is sales tax.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
According to the bible all things are new so I would assume with that said you get new clothes.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
A round pizza comes in a square box because round boxes are difficult to make and the four corners give the consumer a cool and sea place to grab the pizza from the pizza man. (Pizza is hot)

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Pork

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Wheeled luggage was invented in 1987 However that was built in wheels strap on wheels have been around since the 1940's

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
I would assume they are referring to the baby has no issues or worries to speak of so their sleep is a better sleep. I do not think it refers to the length of sleep.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
It does not matter what you call it to a deaf person.

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Technically speaking a movie refers to a moving picture and movies get shown on TV so it must mean you are in a moving picture that gets shown on TV.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Thats only because they don't have binoculars on the ground for people to look up.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
Dr's Leave the room for a smoke or to deal with the other people in another room he just took off their clothes.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Panty is singular, panties refers to multiple panty and is often used incorrectly.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
To give humans the feeling of accomplishment for making perfect toast. There are some people who like their toast burnt those people should be monitored.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Jimmy has a difficult job and while no one cares it is right for people to acknowledge it. However again reality is this was a song sung by slaves to rejoice over their masters death and not get punished for doing so. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Crack_Corn


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Coconuts are very difficult to form into boards.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Goofy was created as an intelligent humanlike dog where as pluto was a pet with much lower intelligence and did not have the ability to stand for long periods. Goofy was a not a pet. But a further evolved canine in the disney universe.


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
What most people do not know is that acme will take back any other their failed inventions for full store credit. This gave the appearance that Wile E. Coyote has vast amounts of financial resources when in fact it was really just the one purchase with many returns.




If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Its made from mineral oil and other perfumes and fragrances to be used on babies. Just like house paint is not made from houses.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Electrons need to move to create electricity when morons move I would assume they generate a measurable amount of by product as well.

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
They do indeed and that was done to make it easier for children to learn and without regard for copywriter ownership at all. Yet another case of
early music theft or sampling as they call it today.


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
They are catchy, I knew the words and I wasn't doing anything but reading this anyway.

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Asteroids are small pieces of planets when they enter our atmosphere they become meteors. While hemorrhoid are any swollen veins close to the surface but not limited to the button.
Although typically referred to that region.


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why
Maybe its your breath?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Because pushing the button harder my make more contact with the connector underneath the button and possible displace the turkey gravy or pizza sauce that was blocking the button in the first place.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Because they need to call the other bank and deny payment and they are charging you the cost of their time and for the call as well as inform all parties involved..

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Paint may look wet even when its dry and dry even when its wet. However anyone who has ever looked up at night knows there are more stars than can be counted and who wants to have an argument
and have to count all those stars.


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Because we don't save unsterilized needles and we also want to make sure we use a new one to get the job done.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Trazan has no beard because his swinging through the jungle on vines has caused damaged to his reproduction organs because a loin cloth offers no protection.
You also notice his one wards was adopted further proving that Tarzan was sterile and never developed the proper hormones to generate facial hair. He was functional
in every other way but reproductions all because of vine swinging.


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
The bullets did not phases him however he does not want to give the criminal the satisfaction of hitting him with the gun.
Superman is fast enough to dodge any gun thrown at him.


Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Because its part of the pilots uniform and allows them to feel safe un until the very last moment.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
It was an attempt to have the world spelled the way it sounds. Like an Orange is colored Orange in other languages they re not the same.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Not everyone wants to pick up a book and lern so not every ape evolved. Man is in fact an primate which is an ape.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Not true if you turn the lights off at night they are actually no longer white.

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
That would be the moment before the sale.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Is it that or really checking to see what else is left that they could eat without to much work?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Because the vacuum cleaners on TV pick up everything and they want to make sure that they don't have a defective vacuum cleaner.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Karma you have done something bad in a past life.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
A secret bug door to small for you to notice.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
You are a klutz.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
Because we are trying to compensate for the cold outside we need to raise the temperature inside as it costs to much to raise the temperature outside.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Perhaps you do not know my father in law?

And my FAVORITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
This is from the same Dr's who commit suicide at 100 times the national average. Perhaps they don't want to feel like they are the only insane people around and by releasing crazy stats like that they feel better about themselves.

 

[tofriendscreek]

Oh, my gosh ... someone has way too much free time or they love riddles, what if's and discovery or they love to burst the bubbles of others.
Regardless, really cool comments and information. Thanks!

 

[d.o.spyder-rts]

Another favorite, why do you park in a driveway but drive on a parkway? :dontknow: Dale

 

[krzychick]

VERY CLEVER !!!!

THOSE ARE GREAT,:roflblack: THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME AND POSTING THEM!KRZY CHICK

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Have a good day...Life is good! :doorag::roflblack:













-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This e-mail and any files transmitted with it are considered confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual(s) or entity(s) to whom they are addressed. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.