Tool Time with Jim

[johnnyrocket]

Now to the serious stuff. Our next installment of Tool Time with Jim.

The next tool on our list is the torch. Now this can be an oxyacetyline rig, a MAPP hand torch, a small "pencile torch or just a plain butane torch. So Let's start with the big one shall we?

Oxyacetylene torches are made up of two bottles of compressed gases. They come in various sizes. The larger set of bottles being about 60 inches tall. These cause the most pain and damage when they fall over when trying to move them around the shop on a cart with less than perfectly round wheels. These torches are normally used for cutting metal which results in hot sparks shooting up your shirt sleeves and "slag" dropping in your shoe causing severe bruising as you dance around the shop on one foot trying to get your shoe off. It is reported these have also been used to heat frozen engine blocks resulting in holes inadvertantly burned into said block.They will transfer heat to your hand from a piece of hot steel very efficiently. They've even been known to burn through leather and "jersey" gloves. These "rigs" can also be MAPP-Oxy torches as well. MAPP Oxy torches produce a higher heat thus causing more pain and suffering at a faster rate.

MAPP torch- This is generally a small hand held torch with a bottle of MAPP gas attached. These have almost taken the place of the old propane or butane torch. Now for you curious types MAPP stands for Methylacetylene-Propadien Propane. In other words it's a stabilized propadien gas. MAPP however is misleading since MAPP gas production ended in North America in 2008. MAPP sold now now is a stabilized LP gas. These torches are used for small jobs such as heating bolts/nuts, braizing small pieces of metal, burning holes in rubber hoses, melting the grease out of bearings that are on the other end of the shaft (note that the aforementioned Oxyacetylene torch will do this more proficiently). This torch will also ignite wood beams, joists and wall studs. It will melt (literally) frozen PVC water pipes too. It will also melt holes in the aluminum walls on garden sheds when put on the floor and forgotten. These torches RAPIDLY heat up your hand and fingers when mistakenly picked up by the flame tip. For times sake, the older propane and butane torches offer the same effects.

The last torch we'll talk about is the Pencile Torch- This insidious little fire maker is mainly used in small electrical work such as melting the circuit board on your welder while trying to replace the linear IC's that were blown when somehow there was a spike in power. These have been know to burn holes in shirt pockets as well.

Due to time constraints and the fact that I have to do more research for tomorrows edition, I will stop here.

Bruiser, you are entirly too funny and you're making my sides hurt from laughing. Can't wait for the next tool time:roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

I can't wait for the session discussing the most effective ways to remove knuckle hide, and then pack the wounds with the best drippings on the garage floor... pps:

 

[bruiser]

Good afternoon and welcome to another edition of Tool Time with Jim. Thanks to all the comments I've been getting. It's amazing (read that scary :yikes the number of folks who can relate to my discriptions.

Now here's one tool normally found in professional shops, I just happen to have one. Air Chisel- as the name implies it's powered by an air compressor. This tool is normally used for chiseling away rusted exhaust system on a 1948 Ford F1 truck on a 100 degree day in an unairconditioned shop, laying on your back while rust, dirt and sweat drop down into your eyes. This tool is also known to shoot a chisel across the shop and into the side of your $1,000.00 Snap-On chrome diamond plate roll around tool storage unit. It will also help you drain a gas tank very rapidly, even though you didn't want it drained. At the correct air pressure and trigger pull you can also open a cold beverage bottle with out shattering the glass.

Power Rasp. Again, this tool is normally used in professional body shops and is also powered by air. Used to smooth down the overabundance of bondo in a 3/4 in dent. This tool will also remove 6 layers of paint and primer in less than 1/4 second. And if your distracted by the boss screaming at you it will also show you what your knuckles look like without that nice skin covering.

At the behest of one Bob Denman, one bench tool I need to mention is the disc sander. Used primarily to smooth edges of wood this is the premier tool for removing knuckle skin. Especially when using 80 grit sandpaper.

Bench vice- Can be either used for metal or specially made for wood. What can I say, this tool can ruin that $20.00 piece of copper pipe you purchased to replace the PVC pipe that was burned by the torch you used trying to thaw it out. It's also real good at pinching fingers and leaving a nice sized blood blister on that bit of skin between the thumb and forefinger.

Our last tool for today is the drop light. I'm talking about the older 100w incandescent light bulb drop light. The one that generates enough heat to cook a hot dog. It will leave a blister on your forehead in about 1 second of skin contact. And just as you're about to get to the critical part of the job the :cus: bulb blows.

So that's it for today. Thanks for tuning in and as a tough police sgt. named Phil Esterhaus used to say "Be careful out there".

 

[NancysToy]

Our last tool for today is the drop light. I'm talking about the older 100w incandescent light bulb drop light. The one that generates enough heat to cook a hot dog. It will leave a blister on your forehead in about 1 second of skin contact. And just as you're about to get to the critical part of the job the :cus: bulb blows.

I never figured out why they call them "drop lights"? As soon as you drop them, the bulb blows and you have no light. :roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

They drop so easily! :gaah:

 

[ARtraveler]

Keep em coming. This is getting better every day. :thumbup:

 

[pickelhead]

:yikes:

So that's it for today. Thanks for tuning in and as a tough police sgt. named Phil Esterhaus used to say "Be careful out there".

You're dating yourself there!:roflblack:

 

[mowin]

Whats sad...at least for me....is that I can truthfully say Ive experienced all of these in one form or another.
And whats even worse, I'm laughing as i read these...Keep em comming.

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked: You too? :shocked:
:agree: :roflblack: :2thumbs:

 

[bruiser]

Except for the $1,000.00 Snap On tool storage unit, I have too. So let's get started on todays episode on common hand tools.

Hacksaw- Now this tool should be in every home tool kit. One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transform human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you try to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes. Oh, and the blade is usually dull and installed backwards.

Pliers- The tool most often used by women (ok, I've put on my iron underwear so I'm ready for the storm). This tool is efficeint at rounding off nuts and bolt heads. Can be used as a hammer and the creation of blood blisters. Also used for picking up dead mice and small birds.

Vice grips- Another member of the family of gripping tools. This tool is generally employed after pliers to completely round off nuts and bolt heads. Once properly clamped on an object it takes the strength of the Incredible Hulk to release the death grip. The teeth on the jaws are usually worn completely off due to the aformentioned bolts and nuts. In the absence of the proper clamp this tool is very efficent at transferring intense welding heat to the palm of your hand. And like its cousin the pliers, will create an impressive blood blister.

Dykes- The more politically correct name for this tool is side cutters. Used to cut various materials, most commonly wire. Comes in different sizes. Not to be confused with the lineman tool used by both professional lineman and the not so professional DIYer. The side cutter will cut through energized power cords and creates a nice flash along with a tingling effect in the hand. The intensity of the tingling effect is directly proportional to the amount of voltage on the wire. This tool can also be trim finger nails. The cutting edge is usually dulled from cutting cardboard, shop rags, shirts etc.

Hammer- There are many styles, sizes and weights of hammers. For purposes of time and space we'll discuss the common claw hammer found in most DIY tool kits. The hammer was originally employed as a weapon of war in ancient times. Nowadays it can still cause pain. It's used as a kind of divining rod to find the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit. When in the hands of some people it's primarily used to make gaping holes in dry wall. This tool is also used to create very nice blue, purple, red and yellow colors on thumbnails.

That's it for today. Tune in next week for more on common hand tools, including the most common hand tool of all. Until then, enjoy the weekend and for my Northern friends, enjoy the snow :yikes:

 

[Bob Denman]

I think that I just had another "PTSD" flashback after the latest chapter... :shocked: :roflblack: :thumbup:

 

[Papa]

OK, if PBS won't give you a show please contact Comedy Central - - - - really. This is prime time material.

 

[Bob Denman]

Absolutely... :agree: :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:

 

[ARtraveler]

:agree: Hope this information could be shared with a much larger audience. It would make a great segment on a comedy show.

 

[Bob Denman]

 

[ARtraveler]

Thank you BobD: That was some real great stuff from the Tool Time Guys.

 

[mowin]

The Dyke one is so true....How many times have I heard...Yes the powers off... I always check if the power is off.

 

[bruiser]

I remember most of those episodes. I really enjoyed that show. The one that gets me is the one with the Bob Cat. I have to admit that that was me the very first time I got in one :yikes:

 

[NancysToy]

I remember most of those episodes. I really enjoyed that show. The one that gets me is the one with the Bob Cat. I have to admit that that was me the very first time I got in one :yikes:

I was a heavy equipment operator for a few years. I thought I was pretty good...until I got into a Bobcat for the first time. They are a whole different breed of cat!

 

[retread]

I've been an electrician most of my life, if someone tells me the power is off, I tell them "okay, grab hold of it and prove it".

john