Seriously???? She didn't just say that...

[bruiser]

So we're checking out at a well known super center. We have some small items and two 5lb and one 12lb bag of bird seed. I'm at the end of the counter putting the stuff in the buggy (cart for my Yankee friends). I'm waiting on the bird seed which is still next to the scanner.The wife finishes paying so I ask the clerk to hand me the bags of seed. She says "um, yeah, they are heavy". :hun: Really???? The wife knows I'm on a short fuse that day so she "one hands" the bags to me. I'm looking at the guy behind us and he has this look :shocked: like " seriously, she just didn't really say that". Where do they get these people and who trains them???? A few days later a buddy asks me if I'm staying out of trouble :shocked::roflblack:.

 

[Bob Denman]

Thanks for the story about the checkout geniuses... :thumbup:
It let me pull this one out of the hat for your viewing pleasure! :roflblack:

Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog
chow at Target, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about
to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she
think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the
hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my
body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story
by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no;
I had stopped in
the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was laughing so hard! Target won't let me shop there
anymore.

 

[JJW SpyderRider]

Thanks for the story about the checkout geniuses... :thumbup:
It let me pull this one out of the hat for your viewing pleasure! :roflblack:

Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog
chow at Target, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about
to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she
think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the
hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my
body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story
by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no;
I had stopped in
the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was laughing so hard! Target won't let me shop there
anymore.

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Chupaca]

No end..!!

I'm sure there are endless stories about the check out line. Mine is they would not sell me an item because it had a 10% discount and the cashier did not have a calculator to find out what to charge.... :roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

Can't you just SMELL the gaskets burning in there? :roflblack:

 

[vrodrjs]

The ones I like are ....

My wife just about explodes when they don't tell you what the total is when they are done scanning everything. She will just stand there and stare at them until they tell her the total. It cracks me up because sometimes the clerk just stands there with that look like "What do you want lady I scanned all your stuff?"

 

[StriperKing]

Thanks for the story about the checkout geniuses... :thumbup:
It let me pull this one out of the hat for your viewing pleasure! :roflblack:

Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog
chow at Target, for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about
to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she
think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told
her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet
again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the
hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I
awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my
body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story
by now.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no;
I had stopped in
the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a
heart attack, he was laughing so hard! Target won't let me shop there
anymore.

That was so funny I had to read it to my wife!

 

[ARtraveler]

Thanks Bruiser and Bob. I tried to read this out load to Linda, and I kept cracking up. The part about getting hit by the car in the parking lot did it. :thumbup:

 

[motoford]

I had one of those 15% off cards Lowe's used to send in the mail. When I tried to check out with my item, they had the wrong price listed in the system. After correcting the price to what was listed on the price tag, they then told me I couldn't use the 15% off because they don't allow multiple discounts. No amount of explaining that the first "discount" wasn't a discount but a wrong price correction would convince her -- I had to get a manager over who grudgingly gave me the 15% off.

:banghead:

 

[Bob Denman]

Thanks Bruiser and Bob. I tried to read this out load to Linda, and I kept cracking up. The part about getting hit by the car in the parking lot did it. :thumbup:

Please... spread it around! :2thumbs:

 

[boborgera]

Last week i was at the check out counter and had a half dozen suet cakes the ones with bird seeds mixed in.
So this Women in front of my said' Oh you also feed the birds?, I said no i feed my cats! Then she said i didn't know cats eat suet, I told her no they don't, But it brings in the birds so my cats can eat them, She turns looks at me and yells ''That's disgusting'', I very politely say' Lady the war is over you can buy a sense of humour now. :roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

:roflblack: Good answer for her! :firstplace:

 

[bruiser]

Please... spread it around! :2thumbs:

:agree:

 

[Cavman]

...the really scary part is....they my be able to vote? :yikes:

 

[tajohn]

Dog food

Thanks.....My wife an i are still laughing. I was reading aloud and could barely get through the double punch line.

 

[Bob Denman]

Thanks.....My wife an i are still laughing. I was reading aloud and could barely get through the double punch line.

I'll have to give credit for that one to a Yamaha Grizzly-ridin' Okie that we called RatTerrier :thumbup:

 

[SpyderDen]

...the really scary part is....they my be able to vote? :yikes:

And reproduce. :yikes:

 

[ThreeFeet]

In WalMart stuff going acroos the scanner and all done. Then came mine and she picks up the bar that seperated mine from their's and asks me if I knew how much this bar was??:hun::gaah:

 

[Bob Denman]