-
There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
vided
New member
Redneck vacation
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
Luther, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your
advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii . I went to Hawaii and Earlene
got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas , and Earlene got
pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant
again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
"I'm taking Earlene with me."
Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells
Luther, "Yaw know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this
year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your
advice about where to go.
Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii . I went to Hawaii and Earlene
got pregnant.
Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas , and Earlene got
pregnant again.
Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant
again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
"I'm taking Earlene with me."
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Where's that damn goat NOW?? :roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
:lecturef_smilie: Rick... 
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: That's too true to be funny...
retread
New member
cuznjohn
New member
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!"
The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!"
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!"
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos.
I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
Bob Denman
New member
vided
New member
Bottle of Merlot
A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there'.... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman The note read: you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and seven inches in your pants... After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. It read: 'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be: "I have a Ferrari Marinelli, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600 and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful ski chalet in Aspen, a beach house in Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Texas. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and investment portfolio. However, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut off two inches off my dick. So just send the ****ing wine back.........!!!! |
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town, the boy rode on the donkey, the old man walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked: "What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who remarked: "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they'd both walk.
Soon they passed some more people who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride."
They both decided to ride the donkey.
They passed some people who shamed them by saying: "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."
The boy and the man figured these people were probably right so they decide to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story, if you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your a** goodbye.
:banghead:
Jerry Baumchen
An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town, the boy rode on the donkey, the old man walked.
As they went along they passed some people who remarked: "What a shame, the old man is walking, the boy is riding."
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right so they changed positions.
Later they passed some people who remarked: "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they'd both walk.
Soon they passed some more people who remarked "They're really stupid to walk when they have a decent donkey to ride."
They both decided to ride the donkey.
They passed some people who shamed them by saying: "How awful to put such a load on a poor donkey."
The boy and the man figured these people were probably right so they decide to carry the donkey.
As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the donkey, the donkey fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story, if you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your a** goodbye.
:banghead:
Jerry Baumchen
cuznjohn
New member
doctor bath tub test
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person, should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person, should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Bob Denman
New member
I've got to remember this one...
...for when it's MY time! :yikes:
...for when it's MY time! :yikes:
vided
New member
Attachments
Bob Denman
New member
See what I mean? :sour:
They say that, "The memory is the SECOND thing to do, and I've forgotten what the first one was!" :gaah:
They say that, "The memory is the SECOND thing to do, and I've forgotten what the first one was!" :gaah:
English joke.......very wry!!
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mike's wife begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor
holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in a rural area in the west of England. No running water, no electricity, etc. One night, Mike's wife begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor is there in attendance. "What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" "Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!" the doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy." "Saints be praised, I..." Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike." Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to..."
Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child. The doctor
holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
Similar threads
