SpyderConvert
Member
Moved
Done.
If you want to re-post in just the Off-Topic area; it sure wouldn't hurt our feelings...
Done.
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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
:clap::2thumbs:PrairieSpyder
New member
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."
....I love these touching stories !!!
---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.
"Janie, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"
...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."
....I love these touching stories !!!
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack:
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
; to discuss that sign with those three jokers... :2thumbs:
:lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
; to discuss that sign with those three jokers... :2thumbs::lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
SpyderConvert
Member
The New Gorilla
One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo trying to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he started to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office.
The zookeeper explained to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, had suddenly died. The keeper feared that attendance at the zoo would fall off. He offered the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they could get another one. The mime accepted.
The next morning, before the crowd arrived, the mime put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage. He discovered that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, play and make fun of people, and he drew bigger crowds than he ever had as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tired of him and he became bored just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.
Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd loved it.
At the end of the day the zookeeper came and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this went on for some time. The mime kept taunting the lion, the crowds grew larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day when he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell. The mime was terrified. The lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The mime was so scared that he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime started screaming and yelling, "Help! Help meee!!!", but the lion was quick and pounced. The mime soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion. The lion slowly lowered his snarling mouth towards him and said: "Shut UP you idiot! Do you want to get us BOTH fired?"
DJ Mills
One day an out of work mime was visiting the zoo trying to earn some money as a street performer. However, as soon as he started to draw a crowd, the zookeeper grabbed him and dragged him into his office.
The zookeeper explained to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, had suddenly died. The keeper feared that attendance at the zoo would fall off. He offered the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they could get another one. The mime accepted.
The next morning, before the crowd arrived, the mime put on the gorilla suit and entered the cage. He discovered that it was a great job. He could sleep all he wanted, play and make fun of people, and he drew bigger crowds than he ever had as a mime.
However, eventually the crowds tired of him and he became bored just swinging on tires. He began to notice that the people were paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.
Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbed to the top of his cage, crawled across a partition, and dangled from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this made the lion furious, but the crowd loved it.
At the end of the day the zookeeper came and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction as a gorilla. Well, this went on for some time. The mime kept taunting the lion, the crowds grew larger, and his salary kept going up. Then one terrible day when he was dangling over the furious lion, he slipped and fell. The mime was terrified. The lion gathered itself and prepared to pounce. The mime was so scared that he began to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime started screaming and yelling, "Help! Help meee!!!", but the lion was quick and pounced. The mime soon found himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion. The lion slowly lowered his snarling mouth towards him and said: "Shut UP you idiot! Do you want to get us BOTH fired?"
DJ Mills
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack:
I heard that he stopped counting to infinity (for the sixth time! :bowdown
:lecturef_smilie: But you still have to remember...
View attachment 164195
But there's only room for one at the top... :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:
Trickie Dick
New member
Why Seniors don't change their Passwords
Subject: Fwd: Why Seniors never change their passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYo urAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCab bagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontG iveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
Subject: Fwd: Why Seniors never change their passwords
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: Cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: Boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces
USER: 50damnboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character
USER: 50DAMNboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50damnBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYo urAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow !
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamnBoiledCab bagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontG iveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use
Bob Denman
New member
Pirate looks at --
New member
You know these are just not funny! What happened to the jokes???????:banghead::banghead:
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