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Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

Bob Denman said:
We have figured out how to exact "Parking Lot Revenge..." :roflblack:

View attachment 144435
Click to expand...

i got a guy fired because of something like this. he was a arrogant person, and when i would take my mother shopping, i would drop her off, and park in the no parking zone, ans sit there in the car, till she came out. now this guy and i had a few words before. he would get upset if i sat in the car, and kept the motor running. he would ask me to shut the car off, and i would tell him to leave me alone. so after the 2nd or third time i yelled at him, i figured i would be nice, i would drop mom off, and back up to the end of the lot, and park with the motor running.
sure enough, he would walk over and tell me to shut the car off. i didn't want to hit him, so i parked the car, and went into the store like a good boy, and told the manager that he was going to have a hurt shopping cart guy, if he didn't leave me alone. the manager said to please stay calm, lots of people are complaining about him, but he can't find anyone to fill his job. so i kept quiet and waited for mom and left.
so one day i am sitting outside the store, and someone comes out and tells me my mom got hit in the head with a can, and i left the car, and went inside to get her. mom was short, she was reaching to get a can of tomato sauce off of one of the top shelves, and a few cans fell and hit her in the head. but being the thick headed Italian that she was, she insisted on getting the last few things she wanted, and to pay for everything and to go home. so i stayed with her. when we cam out of the store, i found my car just like in the picture, but nothing behind the car. the manager is watching my mom through the window, and he sees my car and me heading across the parking lot, and towards the guy. by the time the manager got out of the store, i had the guy by the jacket, and i was dragging him to the car. the manager talked me out of killing this guy, he yelled at him, and made him move the carts. when he moved them enough for me to get out, the manager told the guy to go punch out, and that he was fired. so that is my parking lot story
 
0565db9adcb79489b631e0ed4ffe89ea.jpg
44b60cbc6d982810565b683113871d75.jpg

I like this better except for the litter
7899b323c44137d755003af61d068af2.jpg
 
Last edited:
One night outside a small town, a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In the blink of an eye, it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I'll give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.
Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could save the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Chasidic Jewish rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Jewish, ultra-orthodox men over the age of 65.
To everyone's amazement, that little broken-down fire engine roared right past all the sleek newer engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down, it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Chasidic old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides. It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Chasidic old timers had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to thank each of the brave fire fighters personally.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Moishe Goldberg, the 70-year-old Fire Chief, "Da foist ting ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat damn truck!"
 
John:

I had a funny situation of the same but different sorts. While I was a Deputy Sheriff i worked warrants and drove an "Unmarked Police Car" It had a cage with a shotgun hanging on it and a blue light on the dashboard. Parking around the Courthouse was scarce, except for the "Police Parking Only" spots. Well, i had this Little Rock Police Cadet (cadets are parking meter people, not Police) that continuously put a ticket on my car, and every time i had to take the ticket into the courthouse to have it expunged, took about 10-15 minutes each time. One day i walked out as he was writing a ticket for my car and he "smart assedly" told me that he was doing his job and for me to step aside. I stepped aside and waited till he was done and then got in my car and followed him and when he made an illegal u-turn in the middle of the block i pulled him over and wrote him a hazardous driving ticket (this was a moving violation not a parking ticket), and then i informed him that every time i got a parking ticket he would get a moving violation ticket for one reason or the other, i never got another parking ticket.

Cruzr Joe





cuznjohn said:
i got a guy fired because of something like this. he was a arrogant person, and when i would take my mother shopping, i would drop her off, and park in the no parking zone, ans sit there in the car, till she came out. now this guy and i had a few words before. he would get upset if i sat in the car, and kept the motor running. he would ask me to shut the car off, and i would tell him to leave me alone. so after the 2nd or third time i yelled at him, i figured i would be nice, i would drop mom off, and back up to the end of the lot, and park with the motor running.
sure enough, he would walk over and tell me to shut the car off. i didn't want to hit him, so i parked the car, and went into the store like a good boy, and told the manager that he was going to have a hurt shopping cart guy, if he didn't leave me alone. the manager said to please stay calm, lots of people are complaining about him, but he can't find anyone to fill his job. so i kept quiet and waited for mom and left.
so one day i am sitting outside the store, and someone comes out and tells me my mom got hit in the head with a can, and i left the car, and went inside to get her. mom was short, she was reaching to get a can of tomato sauce off of one of the top shelves, and a few cans fell and hit her in the head. but being the thick headed Italian that she was, she insisted on getting the last few things she wanted, and to pay for everything and to go home. so i stayed with her. when we cam out of the store, i found my car just like in the picture, but nothing behind the car. the manager is watching my mom through the window, and he sees my car and me heading across the parking lot, and towards the guy. by the time the manager got out of the store, i had the guy by the jacket, and i was dragging him to the car. the manager talked me out of killing this guy, he yelled at him, and made him move the carts. when he moved them enough for me to get out, the manager told the guy to go punch out, and that he was fired. so that is my parking lot story
Click to expand...
 
[FONT=Calibri, sans-serif]Wealthy Art Collector...
[/FONT]
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.

"Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news
first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that
she just invested $5,000 in two prints that she thinks will bring a
minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right."

Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant
businesswoman! You've just made my day.
Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"



The lawyer replied, "They're pictures are of you and your secretary."



 
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you
could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to
yourself... 'I'm going to take that.'
 
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips,
an ear of corn and a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and
told me, 'I've not eaten for two days. 'I told him, 'I wish I had
your will power.
 
Let's Piss Off Everyone and give Political correctness a day off: :D

Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away.
But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon
sandwich works best!
 
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