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An atheist in the woods

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DLewis

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An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'
 
:shocked: I wonder what would happen if you showed up at the Pearly Gates, and said, "Thanks; but no thanks..."? :shocked:
 
An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees!'
'What powerful rivers!'
'What beautiful animals!'
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.
He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out: 'Oh my God!'
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'
'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?'
'Am I to count you as a believer?'
The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now,
but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?'
'Very well', said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Well, as a former Christian and now happier than ever Atheist (really prefer facts over fiction), I can tell you an Atheist wouldn't give in under such conditions... nor is the popular phrase "No Atheists in foxholes" accurate.
The number of Atheists continues to grow - now approaching 16% in the United States.... :yes:

"It's called faith because it isn't knowledge" ~ Christopher Hitchens.
 
:shocked: I wonder what would happen if you showed up at the Pearly Gates, and said, "Thanks; but no thanks..."? :shocked:


That would work for me..... all my friends wouldn't be somewhere else anyway.... ;).

Too much time(and money) is spent worrying about some un-provable afterlife.... and not enough enjoying the time we have now in the real world.....
 
The United States of Jesus


It's getting old people, do some reading and please start with the Bible.
 
:agree: It was funnier than Hell...
36_1_19.gif
 
Here's an interesting situation to ponder...
If the Christians are wrong... what's the worst that'll happen to them? NOTHING! They fade away and become compost...
But what if the Atheists are wrong? What might happen to them? :yikes:
think about that a bit... ;)
 
Here's an interesting situation to ponder...
If the Christians are wrong... what's the worst that'll happen to them? NOTHING! They fade away and become compost...
But what if the Atheists are wrong? What might happen to them? :yikes:
think about that a bit... ;)

I do appreciate your concern Bob, but based on my study and research I am not worried in the least.

Food for thought. Just think how many more farkles you could buy if you weren't giving 10% to the church.:roflblack:

You are giving 10% to the church aren't you Bob?
 
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