Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.

[Lew L]

That's " oy vey ist mir " to those who know. As long as you're not a "nudge"

 

[PrairieSpyder]

We need a rim-shot gif.

I think someone's been reading old vaudeville scripts!

 

[Bob Denman]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdVTCDdEwI

 

[Bfromla]

Unintentionally accurate

came across this tonight while out Christmas shopping. nojoke
Also would like to remember the reason for the season wishing everyone a Merry Christmas & safe everything: travels, families, food, coco& hot chocolate, etc etc:yes::yes:

 

[PrairieSpyder]

 

[Bob Denman]

:bowdown: I always knew that I had good reasons for liking you so much!

 

[UtahPete]

...would like to remember the reason for the season View attachment 167955 wishing everyone a Merry Christmas & safe everything: travels, families, food, coco& hot chocolate, etc etc:yes::yes:

I don't understand the joke. nojoke

 

[wyliec]

I don't understand the joke. nojoke

I think the first picture, which is sideways, is depicting a homeless person laying down; something like a homeless person crossing. I'm not sure b/c it's not a very clear picture, and being sideways doesn't help either. The 2nd picture is self explanatory.

 

[UtahPete]

I think the first picture, which is sideways, is depicting a homeless person laying down; something like a homeless person crossing. I'm not sure b/c it's not a very clear picture, and being sideways doesn't help either. The 2nd picture is self explanatory.

So, the second picture is a joke? :dontknow:

 

[wyliec]

So, the second picture is a joke? :dontknow:

I don't think either one is a joke. The 2nd picture is meant to show you the true meaning of Christmas, and it isn't Santa. I think you've mentioned before your stance on religion; so, I'll leave you at this point.

 

[UtahPete]

I don't think either one is a joke. The 2nd picture is meant to show you the true meaning of Christmas, and it isn't Santa. I think you've mentioned before your stance on religion; so, I'll leave you at this point.

I did not think of the second picture as a joke, so I didn't get why it is in the joke thread...

 

[Peter Aawen]

Well, I did not think of the second picture as a joke, so I didn't get why it is in the joke thread...

Cos the bit of that sentence that you left out of your quote, ie, the 'Also' bit at the beginning, was (I believe, anyway) intended to make it clear to most readers that what followed WASN'T MEANT to be a joke but intended to remind us that no matter how funny or not you might find any of the preceding 'Christmas joke' stuff in that post or any other might or might not be, there is an underlying reason for why we actually celebrate Christmas in the first place!! You don't hafta believe it, you don't even hafta celebrate it, but it's STILL the underlying reason that your country & mine celebrate the event.

And getting back to Christmas jokes....

here’s a Christmas Challenge for you all!

Can you name all 10 of Santa’s Reindeer?







Most people remember the easy names; there's Dasher & Dancer, Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid, & Donner and Blitzen (that’s 8)

Then there's Rudolph (9), but most get stuck on number 10. Do you know its name??





C'mon, it's Olive!!

You know, Olive the Reindeer.

Don’t you remember Olive? Of course you do, just sing the song:

"..…Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any Reindeer games.”

See, 10 Reindeer names! :clap:

 

[Bob Denman]

Technically speaking..l There is also an 11th Reindeer: Chet!

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked: Uh-oh...

 

[Bfromla]

Cos the bit of that sentence that you left out of your quote, ie, the 'Also' bit at the beginning, was (I believe, anyway) intended to make it clear to most readers that what followed WASN'T MEANT to be a joke but intended to remind us that no matter how funny or not you might find any of the preceding 'Christmas joke' stuff in that post or any other might or might not be, there is an underlying reason for why we actually celebrate Christmas in the first place!! You don't hafta believe it, you don't even hafta celebrate it, but it's STILL the underlying reason that your country & mine celebrate the event.

And getting back to Christmas jokes....

here’s a Christmas Challenge for you all!

Can you name all 10 of Santa’s Reindeer?







Most people remember the easy names; there's Dasher & Dancer, Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid, & Donner and Blitzen (that’s 8)

Then there's Rudolph (9), but most get stuck on number 10. Do you know its name??





C'mon, it's Olive!!

You know, Olive the Reindeer.

Don’t you remember Olive? Of course you do, just sing the song:

"..…Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any Reindeer games.”

See, 10 Reindeer names! :clap:

thank you for the assist & the reindeer list:thumbup: sorry about the sideways pic , FYI it was actually a pedestrian crosswalk sign that the top came loose so the crosswalk figure looks like the slip & fall sign for the ENTIRE crossing not just a little fold out slip & fall sign.

 

[mowin]

 

[SpyderConvert]

Hillbilly Striptease

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of hisoveralls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.

Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob ?"

"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob ..

"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

(Don't make me splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly...)

 

[Tanshanomi]

I met a man who claimed he'd built a stretch limo out of two Daihatsu hatchbacks.
It ended up being one big Charade.

 

[Bob Denman]

:clap: :roflblack:

 

[ofdave]

I met a man who claimed he'd built a stretch limo out of two Daihatsu hatchbacks.
It ended up being one big Charade.

and I thought I'd heard corny jokes before

(at least I got it)