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Accident July 7, 2018. Prayers needed
- Thread starter nslowmotion
- Start date
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Roadster Renovations
New member
Update on Kathy
Praise report for Kathy 9/17 - I got up at 5am this morning so that I could do all the morning stuff and then fight the morning rush hour traffic to get to the hospital before 9AM. I got there about 20 minutes early; just enough time to drink a cup of decaf down. When I went back I was surprised that Kathy had her eyes open. They were fixed on a location on the ceiling. When I called her name she did not acknowledge me at all. She alternated between that thousand yard stare and closing he eyes and sleeping. When the nurse came in for her morning assessment shortly after, she responded to her and was able to stick her tongue out on command. i ask the nurse how long she had been off of the coma medicine and she said about 26 hours. This is more progress than she had at UofL Hospital when they brought her out of the first medically induced coma in late July. It took her about 4-5 days to respond, so going by that she is doing better this time. Her daughter came in and the nurse was able to get her to do the tongue thing again for her. And, before I left in the early afternoon she stuck out her tongue for me. She has yet to actually look or focus on anyone, so we are not sure about her sight. She seemed confused and agitated a few times; struggling to move herself and I finally told her what had happened and that she would be more conscious as the coma drug got out of her system. Maybe it was me thinking it, but she seemed to be a little calmer after that. This will be a slow process and will take several days before we can truly find out where she is mentally. I again ask for your prayers for her as we explore our new circumstances. Should be able to update you more each day. Thanks for all the wonderful support everyone has shown us. They say that joy shared in multiplied and pain shared is divided. I can completely attest to that. God Bless you all!!
Praise report for Kathy 9/17 - I got up at 5am this morning so that I could do all the morning stuff and then fight the morning rush hour traffic to get to the hospital before 9AM. I got there about 20 minutes early; just enough time to drink a cup of decaf down. When I went back I was surprised that Kathy had her eyes open. They were fixed on a location on the ceiling. When I called her name she did not acknowledge me at all. She alternated between that thousand yard stare and closing he eyes and sleeping. When the nurse came in for her morning assessment shortly after, she responded to her and was able to stick her tongue out on command. i ask the nurse how long she had been off of the coma medicine and she said about 26 hours. This is more progress than she had at UofL Hospital when they brought her out of the first medically induced coma in late July. It took her about 4-5 days to respond, so going by that she is doing better this time. Her daughter came in and the nurse was able to get her to do the tongue thing again for her. And, before I left in the early afternoon she stuck out her tongue for me. She has yet to actually look or focus on anyone, so we are not sure about her sight. She seemed confused and agitated a few times; struggling to move herself and I finally told her what had happened and that she would be more conscious as the coma drug got out of her system. Maybe it was me thinking it, but she seemed to be a little calmer after that. This will be a slow process and will take several days before we can truly find out where she is mentally. I again ask for your prayers for her as we explore our new circumstances. Should be able to update you more each day. Thanks for all the wonderful support everyone has shown us. They say that joy shared in multiplied and pain shared is divided. I can completely attest to that. God Bless you all!!
mark4Jesus
New member
I requested prayer for Kathy yesterday in my Sunday School class.
Roadster Renovations
New member
Update on Kathy
Praise Report for Kathy 9/18 - Sitting here in the waiting room to go in and see Kathy today. Have about 5 minutes before I can go in. I am sitting here thinking of how much improvement she has made. I hope they gave her a diuretic as she was quite swollen yesterday. This will also help to remove any residual coma medicine. I will update this as I go. Ok, I have quite a bit of info. First of all, Kathy has tested positive for a Superbug called VRE. This is a antibiotic resistant strain that can be transferred by touch or by touching any contaminated surface in her room. It is suggested that you thoroughly wash your hands and wipe down any items you bring with you that have been set down. Not a good turn of events. Kathy also is unable to move her left side. Total paralysis. It may improve as the coma drug leaves her system, but it is very doubtful that will happen. She also is not able to move her tongue as much as yesterday. I have told her several times today what has happened to her. It has seemed to help. Going back to previous posts, the Nerologist told me last week that the seizures seemed to be more left side dominant from the right side of her brain. You may notice that I deleted the previous post after I had copied it due to the updates. Here is a link to the SuperBug:
http://healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/U_Z/vancomycin-resistant-Enterococci-VRE
Praise Report for Kathy 9/18 - Sitting here in the waiting room to go in and see Kathy today. Have about 5 minutes before I can go in. I am sitting here thinking of how much improvement she has made. I hope they gave her a diuretic as she was quite swollen yesterday. This will also help to remove any residual coma medicine. I will update this as I go. Ok, I have quite a bit of info. First of all, Kathy has tested positive for a Superbug called VRE. This is a antibiotic resistant strain that can be transferred by touch or by touching any contaminated surface in her room. It is suggested that you thoroughly wash your hands and wipe down any items you bring with you that have been set down. Not a good turn of events. Kathy also is unable to move her left side. Total paralysis. It may improve as the coma drug leaves her system, but it is very doubtful that will happen. She also is not able to move her tongue as much as yesterday. I have told her several times today what has happened to her. It has seemed to help. Going back to previous posts, the Nerologist told me last week that the seizures seemed to be more left side dominant from the right side of her brain. You may notice that I deleted the previous post after I had copied it due to the updates. Here is a link to the SuperBug:
http://healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/U_Z/vancomycin-resistant-Enterococci-VRE
johnny canuck
New member
Doc and Kathy
May God keep you and bless you both.
May God keep you and bless you both.
Roadster Renovations
New member
Update on Kathy
Praise Report for Kathy 9/19 - I spent most of the day with Kathy and spoke to several advocates and MD's. Her RN that she had today is a really great guy and even went as far to read the Nero's notes to me. Every MD that has examined Kathy has said that her prognosis is poor. She is running a slight fever and may be getting another virus in her lungs. The report went on to say that Kathy has moments when she can try to follow voice commands, but then she fades out to that thousand yard stare. There seem to be more periods of zoning out. The coma med may have something to do with this, but in all honesty since I have strung three days together, her condition seems to be downgrading. Kathy also may have a blood clot in her right arm since it is so swollen in relationship to the left.
In the 18 years that Kathy and I have been married we have had "the talk" many times; you younger folks may not know what that is about yet, but if you are together long enough you will talk about what your wishes are. Kathy and I have had multiple talks about this and we both believe that if we are ever on life support, and it is very likely that we are not going to fully recover to a functional and meaningful life, that the other spouse would remove the life support and end their suffering. Kathy is quickly approaching a crossroads in her life. With the ventilator she is limited to where she can go for aftercare. We have tried the "Best" LTAC facilities that are offered and to be truthful, I think they are a joke. Some of the people are very good and some are not. It is a dice roll who you are going to get each day. With the problems Kathy had there; (2 ER and ICU visits in 7 days) in her current condition she would not survive long. I see 2 equally possible outcomes from removing her vent. Either Kathy will be able to breathe on her own and her placement will then go up exponentially, or she will pass on. I firmly believe that God will have the final say so in this. If Kathy still has things to do on this planet, then she will. If her time is done here, she will return to the Father. All the vent is doing is delaying things as they should be. I love her enough to let her go if that is what is meant to happen. We are having a "all hands" meeting on Friday where all of the available family and the care providers will discuss her care plan moving forward. I learned today that one of Kathy's daughters has suddenly remembered a conversation that her and Kathy had at U of L that Kathy wanted to modify her wishes. The immediate thoughts that come to mind is:
1. Since her hands were so shaky she could not write that out and since she was on a vent she could not tell her wishes, so how did she convey this?
2. Since Kathy knew I was the person to decide that why didn't she tell me also?
3. What wasn't something said about this earlier to me?
4. If she did say something about this, how do we know that she was in her right mind?
5. All I can do is go by her wishes we discussed prior to the accident. Anything else is suspect.
This whole situation is a mess. I have always told the truth and conveyed everything as correctly as possible.
I will be made out to be the "bad" person in all this. Just know that I really don't care about that. Regardless, I will exercise Kathy's wishes. She would have done the same for me. That's how tight we were. And how much we love each other. Remember several days ago I ask for you to pray for God's Will to be done. Let's keep praying that one. And remember; God has the last word in all of this.
We humans make plans,
but the Lord
has the final word.
We may think we know
what is right,
but the Lord is the judge
of our motives.
Proverbs 16: 1&2
God Bless you all! More tomorrow!
Praise Report for Kathy 9/19 - I spent most of the day with Kathy and spoke to several advocates and MD's. Her RN that she had today is a really great guy and even went as far to read the Nero's notes to me. Every MD that has examined Kathy has said that her prognosis is poor. She is running a slight fever and may be getting another virus in her lungs. The report went on to say that Kathy has moments when she can try to follow voice commands, but then she fades out to that thousand yard stare. There seem to be more periods of zoning out. The coma med may have something to do with this, but in all honesty since I have strung three days together, her condition seems to be downgrading. Kathy also may have a blood clot in her right arm since it is so swollen in relationship to the left.
In the 18 years that Kathy and I have been married we have had "the talk" many times; you younger folks may not know what that is about yet, but if you are together long enough you will talk about what your wishes are. Kathy and I have had multiple talks about this and we both believe that if we are ever on life support, and it is very likely that we are not going to fully recover to a functional and meaningful life, that the other spouse would remove the life support and end their suffering. Kathy is quickly approaching a crossroads in her life. With the ventilator she is limited to where she can go for aftercare. We have tried the "Best" LTAC facilities that are offered and to be truthful, I think they are a joke. Some of the people are very good and some are not. It is a dice roll who you are going to get each day. With the problems Kathy had there; (2 ER and ICU visits in 7 days) in her current condition she would not survive long. I see 2 equally possible outcomes from removing her vent. Either Kathy will be able to breathe on her own and her placement will then go up exponentially, or she will pass on. I firmly believe that God will have the final say so in this. If Kathy still has things to do on this planet, then she will. If her time is done here, she will return to the Father. All the vent is doing is delaying things as they should be. I love her enough to let her go if that is what is meant to happen. We are having a "all hands" meeting on Friday where all of the available family and the care providers will discuss her care plan moving forward. I learned today that one of Kathy's daughters has suddenly remembered a conversation that her and Kathy had at U of L that Kathy wanted to modify her wishes. The immediate thoughts that come to mind is:
1. Since her hands were so shaky she could not write that out and since she was on a vent she could not tell her wishes, so how did she convey this?
2. Since Kathy knew I was the person to decide that why didn't she tell me also?
3. What wasn't something said about this earlier to me?
4. If she did say something about this, how do we know that she was in her right mind?
5. All I can do is go by her wishes we discussed prior to the accident. Anything else is suspect.
This whole situation is a mess. I have always told the truth and conveyed everything as correctly as possible.
I will be made out to be the "bad" person in all this. Just know that I really don't care about that. Regardless, I will exercise Kathy's wishes. She would have done the same for me. That's how tight we were. And how much we love each other. Remember several days ago I ask for you to pray for God's Will to be done. Let's keep praying that one. And remember; God has the last word in all of this.
We humans make plans,
but the Lord
has the final word.
We may think we know
what is right,
but the Lord is the judge
of our motives.
Proverbs 16: 1&2
God Bless you all! More tomorrow!
RapidSpyder
Well-known member
Praying for Peace from the Father remembering that all things work together for good even though we might not see how. Somehow I believe there will be a powerful testimony that will come out of this.
Our thoughts & prayers here Down Under are with you both Doc, and while I know from personal experience that it won't be easy, you must be true to yourself, Kathy, & your understanding of Kathy's wishes, as hard as that may be, whatever the choice/decision. To do anything less will leave you suffering & questioning for the rest of your life, not that you won't question yourself anyway/either way (been there, done that, hadta make both choices at different times, still do sometimes question & wonder 'what if' about each decision.... but I have FAITH that I did the right thing to the best of my ability!) So whichever/whatever the future brings, at least you can draw comfort in knowing that you carried out her wishes & God's Will to the best of your ability. 
ray: ray: ray:
And btw, those who question your choice (either way) will likely have questioned any way, probably because they don't have faith that you will do the best you can/make the choice you feel is best, as guided by your FAITH; and you simply can't go thru your life trying to placate those who have no faith or FAITH, since without either, they will probably never understand! :sour:
We have FAITH that you will try to make the right choice decision for Kathy and for you, as guided by your FAITH and understanding, and our thoughts & prayers support you in that! Ours is not the place to question.... :thumbup:
ray: ray: ray:And btw, those who question your choice (either way) will likely have questioned any way, probably because they don't have faith that you will do the best you can/make the choice you feel is best, as guided by your FAITH; and you simply can't go thru your life trying to placate those who have no faith or FAITH, since without either, they will probably never understand! :sour:
We have FAITH that you will try to make the right choice decision for Kathy and for you, as guided by your FAITH and understanding, and our thoughts & prayers support you in that! Ours is not the place to question.... :thumbup:
I think the concern is that other family members are challenging his right to make the decision he feels is in Kathy's best interest.Our thoughts & prayers here Down Under are with you both Doc, and while I know from personal experience that it won't be easy, you must be true to yourself, Kathy, & your understanding of Kathy's wishes, as hard as that may be, whatever the choice/decision. To do anything less will leave you suffering & questioning for the rest of your life, not that you won't question yourself anyway/either way (been there, done that, hadta make both choices at different times, still do sometimes question & wonder 'what if' about each decision.... but I have FAITH that I did the right thing to the best of my ability!) So whichever/whatever the future brings, at least you can draw comfort in knowing that you carried out her wishes & God's Will to the best of your ability.
And btw, those who question your choice (either way) will likely have questioned any way, probably because they don't have faith that you will do the best you can/make the choice you feel is best, as guided by your FAITH; and you simply can't go thru your life trying to placate those who have no faith or FAITH, since without either, they will probably never understand! :sour:
We have FAITH that you will try to make the right choice decision for Kathy and for you, as guided by your FAITH and understanding, and our thoughts & prayers support you in that! Ours is not the place to question.... :thumbup:
Roadster Renovations
New member
What I didn't say is the daughter that is trying to cause trouble prior to the accident had spent less than 5 hours total with her mother for the entire year. And she lives 10 minutes away and all three children go to school 5 blocks away. She hasn't been around only because she has not wanted to. Now, she is trying to buy back some of that lost time at Kathy's expense. Indiana law is ironclad: In the event a patient is unable to convey their wishes, the legally married spouse will be the one to determine anything medical. Not the children. Not that distant relative. I just need to be unbend able. And I will be. Because I could be there and her here and she would do the same.
007james
Member
Hey Doc,...I hope you had a chance to read my “ Healing” Thesis I linked you too, a couple of months ago. As I said, you would get every sort of advice from different Prayer Warriors with many contradictions. In case you haven’t, here is the best Spiritual advice I ever have been able to put to good use. Hang in there.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”
007 James
Last edited:
Little Blue
SpyderLovers Ambassador
Prayer
I pray God's wisdom and peace for you.ray:ray:
I pray God's wisdom and peace for you.
ray:ray:Doc, I'm so very sorry for all that you and Kathy have been through, and now you're struggling as I was last May when my husband of 44 years suffered a massive hemorrhagic stroke. We too had discussed, never unwaveringly, our wishes to be let go if there was no reasonable hope of returning to near normal life. Quality over quantity, we always said.
And then it happened. Unexpectedly and suddenly, we were facing our worst fears as Bill continued to lay unresponsive and unimproved despite the shunt embedded in his skull to relieve the sea of blood and pressure which had already damaged his brain.
Doctors had said, even before inserting the shunt, that he'd never be normal again. They predicted 3-4 months of "recovery" in a nursing home, possibly still on his respirator, and with a substantial chance of succumbing to pneumonia. As the days elapsed with no improvement, they now predicted a year or more of rehab in a nursing home, and with stronger assurances that he'd be no where near normal.
Bill was a brilliant, brilliant man who needed to constantly exercise his brain and to help others with his knowledge. For this to be the organ that would permanently fail him, my agonizing decision had always been clear, but it was finally time for me to have the courage to honor his wishes.
On the worst day of my life, had him pulled from life support. He died five days later.
Making that decision flooded me with relief, yet I frequently torture myself by wondering if I did the right thing. Would this outstanding man have pulled off a miracle and fought back to cranial normalcy? Was he, despite his damaged state, aware of my impending decision and desperately wanted to tell me he'd changed his mind, but was unable to? I've learned that these are normal emotions of the surviving loved one.
Doc, you'll make the right decision, and like most everyone else who's been in our tragic situation, you'll always wonder what if, no matter how obvious your loved one's wishes were or how clearly the suffering would have continued to be. The best we can do is give our loved ones a chance and then decide if we should allow them peace. And if our decision should be to allow them peace, we then have to allow peace to permeate ourselves as well. I wish you and Kathy the very best and continue to send love your way.
And then it happened. Unexpectedly and suddenly, we were facing our worst fears as Bill continued to lay unresponsive and unimproved despite the shunt embedded in his skull to relieve the sea of blood and pressure which had already damaged his brain.
Doctors had said, even before inserting the shunt, that he'd never be normal again. They predicted 3-4 months of "recovery" in a nursing home, possibly still on his respirator, and with a substantial chance of succumbing to pneumonia. As the days elapsed with no improvement, they now predicted a year or more of rehab in a nursing home, and with stronger assurances that he'd be no where near normal.
Bill was a brilliant, brilliant man who needed to constantly exercise his brain and to help others with his knowledge. For this to be the organ that would permanently fail him, my agonizing decision had always been clear, but it was finally time for me to have the courage to honor his wishes.
On the worst day of my life, had him pulled from life support. He died five days later.
Making that decision flooded me with relief, yet I frequently torture myself by wondering if I did the right thing. Would this outstanding man have pulled off a miracle and fought back to cranial normalcy? Was he, despite his damaged state, aware of my impending decision and desperately wanted to tell me he'd changed his mind, but was unable to? I've learned that these are normal emotions of the surviving loved one.
Doc, you'll make the right decision, and like most everyone else who's been in our tragic situation, you'll always wonder what if, no matter how obvious your loved one's wishes were or how clearly the suffering would have continued to be. The best we can do is give our loved ones a chance and then decide if we should allow them peace. And if our decision should be to allow them peace, we then have to allow peace to permeate ourselves as well. I wish you and Kathy the very best and continue to send love your way.
Bob Denman
New member
I've been watching this thread since it all started, and I've tried to minimize my comments...
Doc,
Stay strong for Kathy... We will be praying hard for all of you.ray:ray:
Doc,
Stay strong for Kathy... We will be praying hard for all of you.
ray:ray:- Status
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