However, using certain aspects - refining your oustide-inside-outside technique and taking a later apex will alter the radius of the turn and put less force on the chassis, thereby quieting all the sensors down and reducing the effects of the VSS. Sometimes I'm hangin' off of 14 pretty good when I'm really on it! This also helps keep the bars straighter which quiets the steering sensor(s).
It does take some time and it can be pretty physical if you are pushing hard but you can get good results. Again, no comparison to the CBR but pretty fun!
So you are hitting the apex a little farther in the corner from what I am reading. I will start to play around with the apex at lower speeds and swee what it does. I am already leaning off the byke and I can tell it is helping.
In cornering slide forward and out into the corner to hold the inside wheel down. A stiffer spring setting can make the wheel lift easier - but you get less 'roll' and thus less 'bouncing rebound'. This is where shifting your weight comes in to hold her down.
Feathering the clutch in slow speed turns can help a bit... I've got it down to a pretty good science and can spin the Spyder 180 degrees on grass, a bit of loose gravel or wet pavement without the engine being killed.
But the nanny is really pretty amazing. Ride the Dragon like a Huligan in TN sometime and you'll never want to ride without her. As you power through the curves - hanging off the side for dear life--- when you probably can't get your foot on the brake if you wanted to--- you'll feel the nanny braking FOR you. It's pretty darn cool once you get used to it-- hitting the curves fast and having her do the braking without cutting the engine--- awesome!
I am 5' 6" 165, and again, the shox are set to middle from what Len told me. When I raise the wheel, I am pretty sure it is because I'm not leaning into the turn. I can feel the roll, but like how the soft shox absorb all the bumps, cracks, and holes.
I will have to try feathering the clutch. I am assuming, basically just before nanny kicks it, clutch it? Might help me learn fish tailing on her too

There have been a few corners where I am tucked in low, hitting apex, and I can feel it kick in. I feel in total control, back ends not kicking at all, maybe an inch or 2 of wheel lift and nanny kicks. I think this is the reason I am getting fed up with it. maybe I need to heed what Johnboy said.... this is NOT a sportbike. Then I might start enjoying it a little more.
Thank you all for the tips, and keeping the gripes/parenting down. I just needed the mindset that this is a fighter jet... Just not the F22 or f35.