Teddy lost one of his biggest fans this week
I usually keep this thread geared toward Teddys Adventures on his Spyder & to date, have kept most of his Service Work private, but today I find myself, along with him, very somber & depressed. Once a week for the past 5 months, we've been visiting a local nursing home & Teddy has many fans there that he brings many smiles to & brightens their day. We're both still really new with his Emotional Support Therapy that he does. I was warned going in that it was very rewarding, but also could be very emotionally draining & that "Professional Detatchment" was something that I personally would have to develop. Til today, I honestly never gave it another thought.
We stopped by today, but the mood of the residents was off, they were still happy to see Teddy, but you could tell something was wrong. After a few minutes, Teddy was searching for a sweet elderly lady named Fay, who was the original person that had asked us to start visiting, 5 months ago. Ever since, she was always front & center for greeting Teddy, & always with a smile & treat in hand. He went from person to person looking for Fay, & his treat. He started the cycle over & over again searching & I could tell he was starting to get stressed. When he stresses, he starts licking his lipps & yawning over & over again. When I realized Fay wasn't there, I feared she may had taken ill & had maybe stayed in her room or worse, had to be taken to the hospital. Well, I was totally unprepaired when one of the other residents took me aside & kind of bluntly told me that she had passed away on Monday. She was in her 80s but was always so spry & healthy, so I never gave her coming to pass a thought. And I had grown much closer to her than even I had realized. She reminded me very much of my own mother, who I miss greatly every day. Guess you could say, I kinda felt her loss all over again, and the raw emotion was overwhelming. I did my best to apologize to the other residents, gathered Teddy & abruptly took our leave. Guess I was embarrassed to cry in front of all the other residents & didn't want them to see that. Teddy is a source of joy & happiness for them & I didn't want to change that. When you reach their age, death is a normal occurence, even welcomed by many, so they didn't need me to bring them down. Most of them have made their peace with this life & are ready for their next Adventure & I totally respect them for that.
Needless to say, for me however, it was a rough ryde home. You see, I was always a "Mommas boy" being the baby of the family. I remember her always telling me, "No matter how old you are, you're always gonna be my baby." Well, being the baby, the last of 12-16 (we really don't know) my dad was born in 1910, & was married, had 10 kids, his wife & 2 kids died, when he was 38, he got a babysitter for the 8 kids that lived. The babysitter was 16, the same age as my dads oldest son. Dad was one of those bad "Catholic Alcoholics" that you see on Jerry Springer, believed Hitler & Archy Bunker were great men. He owned his own bar & fishing lakes here in KY & used the kids as free labor to work the bar. Things were allot different back in those days than they are now, thats for sure. Well, one thing lead to another & dad married the babysitter, even tho he was 22 years older than her. Well, I'm glad that he did, cause that babysitter eventually became my mother. Moms 1st child (Louise) did in childbirth. She had another daughter, then 3 boys. Well, when my father was 61, mom bacame pregnant with me. He was actually 62 when I was born & mom was 40, something I DON'T reccommend to anyone. He & I had NO bond at all, hence the reason I was such a "mommas boy". My dad was also a very bad man in general & all the kids were beaten, except for me. I was the baby & mom wasn't strong enough to stop him with the rest of the kids, but with his advanced age, when I came along, mom told him if he ever laid a hand on me, she would make sure he wouldn't live to regret it & I'm thankful, cause he never touched me. The rest of the kids were rightfully jealous of me for that reason, but that left me growing up, pretty much, all alone in such a large family. The next closest in age to me is 6 years older, so no one would play with me. It was just me & mom. Being the youngest, I grew up being taught & knowing that it was my job to take care of my parents, til they passed. I was even signed out of school so I could get a full-time job at 16 to help support the family & if I wanted anything for myself, then I had to work for it. Dad lived til he was 86 & to be honest, I was glad it was over. I remember growing up begging them to get divorced every day. But mom actually did love him & said they were to old to do that & they had to deal with each other til they died.
When he passed, I knew mom wanted to move to Florida, & I asked if she wanted to & she said yes. She was in poor health my entire life, both of them were actually. So, if I could make her happy in any way, I wanted to do that. So, I made it happen & in 96 I got married & took mom with us & bought a house in FL. Mom loved it & she did so much better in FL than here in KY. But after 3 years, she started to go down hill really fast. We talked about the end coming near & that maybe it was best to move back to KY so she could once again, be around the rest of the family & she agreed. My marriage also went south, & I got divorced in 2000 & moved mom & myself back to KY. The next 2 years were really rough for her & she made me promise that no matter what, I wouldn't let her suffer. In late October of 2002, she decided that the life she was living, doing dialysis 3X week for 4 hours each, along with many other medical issues, just wasn't worth living any more. We had to threaten to sue her Doctor to remove the port from her neck, cause he refused at first, saying that without dialysis, she would die. Thats what she wanted. He said normally, the toxins build up in the system & within 10 days, most ppl pass. Well, as usual, she was always stubborn, she proved him wrong. My oldest (1/2) brother that lives in CA & is the same age as her, made her promise to try to hold on til he could get here, but he couldn't do it til Christmas. I hated him for a while for that, but I've made my peace & forgiven him. She made it cohearantly for 60 days, but on December 19, she bacame catatonic. I will always regret I didn't have the strenght to help her then. Her Dr. gave me liquid morphine to keep her out of pain, & told me, when I knew it was time, to give her a double dose & that she would comfortably pass. But for 3 days, we (my brothers & I) stayed with her, bathed her, changed her & all that. But every time we moved her, even tho she was catatonic, you could see it hurt her from the pain in her eyes & it killed me. My brothers didn't know what the Dr, Mom & I had agreed to but I finally found the strength & did as she made me promise, on Dec. 21 2002. My brother from CA missed her by 3 days, but she was actually gone even 3 days earlier.
Thats been almost 9 years ago now, but it seems just like yesterday. & with the passing this week of Fay, well, its a little hard to be me right now. Teddys sleeping on my lapp right now as I type this, snoring his lil snore & I'm so thankful that he can't feel this hurt that I feel inside right now. He knows I'm sad but he doesn't understand why, yet he still loves me no matter what...
:roflblack::bowdown:
. Dave..you are so right about being wrapped around their paws..we are so lucky to have them. I have a pillow that says "I want to be the person my dog thinks I am". 
