PrairieSpyder
New member
I think the number 11 should be oneteen!
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Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
I think the number 11 should be oneteen!
Bob Denman
New member
:clap::thumbup::agree:
:agree: that's way more logical than calling 11 either Eleven or OnetyOne..... :sour: But I hafta say that even if we do go the far more reasonable Oneteen direction, from there on it does get a little more difficult, since going thru the 'teens' leads us into the Twenties, Thirties, & Forties etc, & Thir-teen is what we call the number with a 1 in the 'tens' column & a 3 in the 'units' column, ie, 13 = Thir-teen, which then leads us on thru the numbers until we hit a 3 in the tens column & a zero in the units column, ie 30 = Thir-ty; while 14 = For-teen & carries on to For-ty; 15 = Fif-teen & then Fif-ty etc etc; then shouldn't we really be calling the number 12 = Twen-teen... - or if we go back to the Two pronunciation it should be Two-teen & Two-ty.... :dontknow: Gotta be consistent! :lecturef_smilie:
:thumbup: Doesn't that make a whole lot more sense & make it all so clear & easy?!
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Bob Denman
New member
What's the bag limit on them? :dontknow:
PrairieSpyder
New member
:agree: that's way more logical than calling 11 either Eleven or OnetyOne..... :sour: But I hafta say that even if we do go the far more reasonable Oneteen direction, from there on it does get a little more difficult, since going thru the 'teens' leads us into the Twenties, Thirties, & Forties etc, & Thir-teen is what we call the number with a 1 in the 'tens' column & a 3 in the 'units' column, ie, 13 = Thir-teen, which then leads us on thru the numbers until we hit a 3 in the tens column & a zero in the units column, ie 30 = Thir-ty; while 14 = For-teen & carries on to For-ty; 15 = Fif-teen & then Fif-ty etc etc; then shouldn't we really be calling the number 12 = Twen-teen... - or if we go back to the Two pronunciation it should be Two-teen & Two-ty.... :dontknow: Gotta be consistent! :lecturef_smilie:
:thumbup: Doesn't that make a whole lot more sense & make it all so clear & easy?!
Wow. You gave that a lot more thought than I did. :thumbup:
Bob Denman
New member
How about just calling it "PF"?***
*** Picket fences!
*** Picket fences!
Grandpot
Active member
Pet bird
I've been lonely lately so I decided to go to the pet store an get a bird that would talk to me. I came upon a very unusual looking bird with a look of fear on his face. The sign on the cage said this was an Oh-Oh Bird. It got its name because it has 6" testicles and 3" legs. Every time it comes in for a landing, it squawks, "Oh-Oh Oh-Oh!":yikes::yikes:
I've been lonely lately so I decided to go to the pet store an get a bird that would talk to me. I came upon a very unusual looking bird with a look of fear on his face. The sign on the cage said this was an Oh-Oh Bird. It got its name because it has 6" testicles and 3" legs. Every time it comes in for a landing, it squawks, "Oh-Oh Oh-Oh!":yikes::yikes:
Bob Denman
New member
SpyderConvert
Member
Scotch With 2 Drops of Water
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today. 'The bartender says' well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.
'As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says 'thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up' says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says ‘thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies 'sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor... Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today. 'The bartender says' well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.
'As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.' The old woman says 'thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming up' says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says 'I would like to buy you one, too.' The old woman says ‘thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.' 'Coming right up' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies 'sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor... Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'
kep-up
New member
Just to make it clear, this lady is drinking her scotch correctly regardless of whether she can or cannot hold her water. Most bartenders are not taught how to pour single malt scotch. You pour enough single malt into a tulip shaped tasting glass to fill the bell and come about 1/2 way up the top part of the bell. then you place a straw into a bottle of mineral water, extract the water and put two drops into the scotch. Then allow the scotch to breathe whilst you gently swirl the glass allowing the water to release the subtle nose and flavors. Take a wee sip and hold it under your tongue, gently swirling the liquid as you do so, for a few seconds then swallow. Never ever "knock back" a single malt. Scotch whisky is made to savor and enjoy, not to drink.
Now pour yourself a wee dram of "th' water of life" and enjoy life...………….
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Grandpot
Active member
That's way too much trouble and far too sophisticated for me, but it is interesting. Just get me a Bud.
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: :agree:
Bob Denman
New member
A Couple in their nineties sare both having problems remembering things.
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember
..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write
it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness
sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"
During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay,
but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember
..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write
it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness
sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man
returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"
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Pirate looks at --
New member
It's about time we had a good Joke!:roflblack::roflblack:
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PrairieSpyder
New member
For Mike (BlueKnight911)
Bob Denman
New member
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one
elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he let
me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.'
elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a
suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the
hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he let
me wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom
changing out of her hospital gown.'
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