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Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
IdahoMtnSpyder
Well-known member
Bert's new cowboy boots
Bert's New Cowboy Boots
Bert, at 80 years old, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 75, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW???"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
Bert's New Cowboy Boots
Bert, at 80 years old, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"
Margaret at age 75, looked him over and replied, "Nope."
Frustrated as all get out, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the new boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW???"
Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan response, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."
Furious, Bert yells out, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?"
"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.
"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
Without missing a beat old Margaret replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat."
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
One day a young man is walking along the beach. He comes upon a young woman laying on a blanket.
As he gets closer, he notices that she is nude.
He thinks this is strange but walks on.
He curiosity gets the better of him, so he comes back and asks her, 'Why are you laying here nude?'
She says that she is on strike.
So he walks on.
A little later he returns with a blanket and spreads it out beside here.
He then takes all of his clothes off and lays down beside her.
After a few moments, she looks over at him and asks, 'Why are you laying here nude?'
He replies, 'I'm on strike also. And as soon as I get a raise I'm putting you to work.'
:yes:
Jerry Baumchen
One day a young man is walking along the beach. He comes upon a young woman laying on a blanket.
As he gets closer, he notices that she is nude.
He thinks this is strange but walks on.
He curiosity gets the better of him, so he comes back and asks her, 'Why are you laying here nude?'
She says that she is on strike.
So he walks on.
A little later he returns with a blanket and spreads it out beside here.
He then takes all of his clothes off and lays down beside her.
After a few moments, she looks over at him and asks, 'Why are you laying here nude?'
He replies, 'I'm on strike also. And as soon as I get a raise I'm putting you to work.'
:yes:
Jerry Baumchen
vided
New member
Bob Denman
New member
mowin
New member
Drinking it.....
Bob Denman
New member
I argued with myself for over six Months about that picture...nojokeWhen I finally decided to post it; I was wondering exactly what Rob would have to say! :clap: :2thumbs:
mowin
New member
When I finally decided to post it; I was wondering exactly what Rob would have to say! :clap: :2thumbs:
Wouldn't want to disappoint ya....:cheers:
Bob Denman
New member
My Friend: you certainly did NOT!! :bowdown:
Bob Denman
New member
An Interesting Observation...
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And...
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE amazing facts are,
The higher you go in the corporate structure,the smaller your balls become.
There must be a boat load of people in Washington playing marbles. :dontknow:
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And...
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE amazing facts are,
The higher you go in the corporate structure,the smaller your balls become.
There must be a boat load of people in Washington playing marbles. :dontknow:
PrairieSpyder
New member
Bob, that reminds me . . . Large organizations are like septic tanks . . the biggest turds rise to the top!
Bob Denman
New member
In that case; I'm glad that we're a SMALL corporation! :shocked:
PrairieSpyder
New member
I'm feeling some deja vu! Have we already done that joke?:hun:
Here's another...
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.
We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108.
We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack: :clap:
The old folks have it all figured out... :lecturef_smilie: Don't mess with them!
The old folks have it all figured out... :lecturef_smilie: Don't mess with them!
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