Bob Denman
New member
:yikes: :roflblack:
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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing - Jokes! So I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
Maybe these little guys are closer to us than we think... 
Bob Denman
New member
Or is that, "Peek-A-Boobie"? :roflblack:
River Walk
There's this Blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and See's another Blonde on the opposite bank'
Yoo-hoo' she shouts, 'How do i get to the other side?
The second Blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
''You-Are'' on the other side.
There's this Blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and See's another Blonde on the opposite bank'
Yoo-hoo' she shouts, 'How do i get to the other side?
The second Blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
''You-Are'' on the other side.
dannymax
New member
You KNOW that occurred to me but fear of
NautiBrit
New member
How to keep a woman happy....
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
�
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
�
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Leave him alone
Bob Denman
New member
That is so true that it's absolutely scary! :shocked:
Bob Denman
New member
This one REALLY ain't funny; but at least it's true!
Bob Denman
New member
...Always keep moving... :shocked:
:thumbup:
:thumbup:
Spy+
New member
Black Pig
Member
Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8.
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one; but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.
Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one; but after looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not for him.
Bob Denman
New member
It's probably for the best; he couldn't afford her wardrobe costs anyway! :roflblack:
mowin
New member
You have a knack for pointing out the positive side of things:roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
If you look up "inane banter" in the dictionary; they've got me listed as a multiple- offender! :roflblack:
dannymax
New member
Don't be so hard on yourself Bob....your banter isn't insane.....well, not totally!! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack: :thumbup:
bruisersbaby
GOS member (Girls On Spyders)
HALLELUJAH!!!
One day, in the shark-infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns called Justin and Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed upon prawn."I hate being a prawn," says Justin. "I wish I were a shark."
Suddenly, a strange cod appeared and said, “your wish is granted” and Justin was turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend turned shark will eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp turned maneater very lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the mysterious cod again, he asks him to turn him back into a prawn. Lo and behold, Justin was turned back into a prawn.
Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. "Your wish is granted," he says and, instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend might eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin,leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the cod again, he begs the mysterious fish to change him back. Lo and behold, Justin is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, he swims back to the reef to seek out Christian. As he approaches, he shouts out: "It's me, Justin, your old friend. I've changed ... I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again, Christian."
:roflblack::banghead::banghead::banghead::roflblack:
One day, in the shark-infested waters of the Caribbean, two prawns called Justin and Christian are discussing the pressures of being a preyed upon prawn."I hate being a prawn," says Justin. "I wish I were a shark."
Suddenly, a strange cod appeared and said, “your wish is granted” and Justin was turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend turned shark will eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin, leaving the shrimp turned maneater very lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the mysterious cod again, he asks him to turn him back into a prawn. Lo and behold, Justin was turned back into a prawn.
Suddenly, a mysterious cod appears. "Your wish is granted," he says and, instantly, Justin becomes a shark. Horrified, Christian swims away, afraid his former friend might eat him. As time passes, Christian continues to avoid Justin,leaving the shrimp-turned-maneater lonely and frustrated. So when he bumps into the cod again, he begs the mysterious fish to change him back. Lo and behold, Justin is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, he swims back to the reef to seek out Christian. As he approaches, he shouts out: "It's me, Justin, your old friend. I've changed ... I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again, Christian."
:roflblack::banghead::banghead::banghead::roflblack:
Last edited:
Desperate Parents
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way!!"
An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams. "We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man said. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up. Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting a divorce," she shouts. "I'll take care of this." She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up. The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way!!"
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked:
:2thumbs: Very nice! I'll be sure to "borrow" it...
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