ThreeWheels
Active member
Another one
-
There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
Courtesy of a really good friend:
SpyderConvert
Member
Military Bumper Stickers
• 101st Airborne Division- “ When it comes to Combat, we care enough to send the very best”
• “When in doubt, empty the magazine”
• “Sniper – You can run, but you’ll just die tired!”
• “Machine Gunners – Accuracy By Volume”
• “Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything”
• ” U.S. Marines – Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club”
• " U.S. Air Force – Travel Agents To Allah”
• “The Marine Corps – When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight”
• “Death Smiles At Everyone – Marines Smile Back”
• “What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil”
• “Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"
• “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It”
• “Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon”
• “It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden – It was Our Job To Arrange The Meeting”
(Gen H. Norman Schwarzkopf )
• “Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl”
• “One Shot, Twelve Kills – U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support “
• “My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College and Protest”
• “A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers”
• “Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. The US Marines don’t have that problem."
The American soldier does not fight because he hates who is in front of him; he fights because he loves who is behind him.
God bless them all..
• 101st Airborne Division- “ When it comes to Combat, we care enough to send the very best”
• “When in doubt, empty the magazine”
• “Sniper – You can run, but you’ll just die tired!”
• “Machine Gunners – Accuracy By Volume”
• “Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything”
• ” U.S. Marines – Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club”
• " U.S. Air Force – Travel Agents To Allah”
• “The Marine Corps – When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight”
• “Death Smiles At Everyone – Marines Smile Back”
• “What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? A Little Recoil”
• “Marines – Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"
• “Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It”
• “Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon”
• “It’s God’s Job to Forgive Bin Laden – It was Our Job To Arrange The Meeting”
(Gen H. Norman Schwarzkopf )
• “Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl”
• “One Shot, Twelve Kills – U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support “
• “My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College and Protest”
• “A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy – Blessed Be The Peacemakers”
• “Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. The US Marines don’t have that problem."
The American soldier does not fight because he hates who is in front of him; he fights because he loves who is behind him.
God bless them all..
SpyderConvert
Member
Golf Nuts
A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year, which means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid.
----------------------
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.
”Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting."
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through.”
——————————
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied, ”The holes are numbered."
————————
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father, how about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”
————————————
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
”I don't know -- put me down for a five."
——————————
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: ”Got here in two, didn't I?
—————————
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year, which means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind of makes you proud. I almost feel like a hybrid.
----------------------
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack.
”Help me dear," she groans to her husband.
The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.
His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting."
"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."
"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.
"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through.”
——————————
A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?"
Mickelson replied, ”The holes are numbered."
————————
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?"
The young man says, "An 8-iron, father, how about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.
The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down.”
————————————
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.
The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
”I don't know -- put me down for a five."
——————————
A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through.
Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.
As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"
The man replied: ”Got here in two, didn't I?
—————————
The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
Bob Denman
New member
SpyderConvert
Member
The First Thing That A Japanese Baby Does
https://www.flixxy.com/fuji-camera-...m_term=video of the day&utm_medium=newsletter
https://www.flixxy.com/fuji-camera-...m_term=video of the day&utm_medium=newsletter
SpyderConvert
Member
An Oldie??
The pilot makes the usual announcements about their altitude, course, and estimated time of arrival.
When he's finished, he wishes the passengers a good trip ... but forgets to turn off the intercom system.
His co-pilot asks him:
So Roger, did you set the autopilot ?-
Absolutely. Now, I'm going to go pee and then, I'll see the hostess and we will have a quicky. She's always up for a hug, that one.
The pilot is far from suspecting that all passengers and staff heard what he said.
One of the hostesses runs towards the cockpit to inform him of his mistake ... but on the way, she stumbles and finds herself face down on the floor.
An old lady then taps her shoulder and says:-
No need to hurry so much; he said he was going to pee first ...
The pilot makes the usual announcements about their altitude, course, and estimated time of arrival.
When he's finished, he wishes the passengers a good trip ... but forgets to turn off the intercom system.
His co-pilot asks him:
So Roger, did you set the autopilot ?-
Absolutely. Now, I'm going to go pee and then, I'll see the hostess and we will have a quicky. She's always up for a hug, that one.
The pilot is far from suspecting that all passengers and staff heard what he said.
One of the hostesses runs towards the cockpit to inform him of his mistake ... but on the way, she stumbles and finds herself face down on the floor.
An old lady then taps her shoulder and says:-
No need to hurry so much; he said he was going to pee first ...
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
My Missus always gives me those two choices... 
But my answer is always "Yes!" anyway! :yes:
But my answer is always "Yes!" anyway! :yes:
Bob Denman
New member
It's actually more like this:
SpyderConvert
Member
When You're Over 70
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
================
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you’re seventy and over..............who cares?
================
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then.. try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy and over...............who cares?
I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own business.
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."
Cost me 6 stitches...but,
When you’re over seventy..............who cares?
================
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."
Lady Clerk: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
I said "Nah... She's purty good lookin'....."
When you’re seventy and over..............who cares?
================
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right”
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you.”
Cost me a fat lip, but...
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then.. try."
After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"
I said, "Yesterday."
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
When you’re seventy and older..............who cares?
================
I went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a table.
I said, "Good legs."
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think so?"
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...
When you’re seventy and over...............who cares?
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack: :clap: :thumbup:
But frankly: I'm surprised that you made it TO seventy!
But frankly: I'm surprised that you made it TO seventy!
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack::thumbup: :clap:
Bob Denman
New member
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