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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
SpyderConvert
Member
Stuttering
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!, but before she could say "F**k!," the Rottweiler ate her!
The teacher had to leave the room.
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. “Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she said.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!, but before she could say "F**k!," the Rottweiler ate her!
The teacher had to leave the room.
Saluda
New member
We're about on the same schedule and I couldn't agree more. Retirement is the best "job" I ever had.
Bob Denman
New member
PrairieSpyder
New member
My Mom has passed away, but at least it wasn't from the shock of finding out all the stunts we did when we were kids!
Whenever i think back on my life I realize I'm lucky to have survived to adulthood.
Bob Denman
New member
:agree: Sometimes I'm amazed that I made it this far... 
...and sometimes I'm not so sure that I did! :shocked:
...and sometimes I'm not so sure that I did! :shocked:
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:
:roflblack::roflblack:
Okay, I don't know if this qualifies as a joke, but I got a kick out of this I saw on Facebook;
The Supreme Court has ruled there can be no nativity scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas.
This is NOT for religious reasons; they simply have been unable to find 3 wise men in the nation's capitol...
The search for a virgin also continues....
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable...
The Supreme Court has ruled there can be no nativity scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas.
This is NOT for religious reasons; they simply have been unable to find 3 wise men in the nation's capitol...
The search for a virgin also continues....
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable...
Bob Denman
New member
One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under
the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold
to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked,
'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde replied it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way.
She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand.
Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread.
She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! you still don't understand. Your
dog wants to have sex!'
The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead.
I always wanted a police dog..."
the shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold
to drink.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked,
'Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'
The blonde replied it was hers.
'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.
The blonde replied, 'No way.
She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree.'
The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand.
Your dog needs to be bred.'
'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread.
She isn't hungry 'cause I fed her this morning.'
The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! you still don't understand. Your
dog wants to have sex!'
The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead.
I always wanted a police dog..."
SpyderConvert
Member
Blonde Football
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!"
Bob Denman
New member
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED,
ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE
Please do not Google or check this with Snopes.
They will lie to you. Trust me!
This is the truth, my computer guy from India assured me.
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and
long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town
to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short
of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath
the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by
Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold
all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying,
Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as
Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language
to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly
take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich
Dominican Sybarites,
or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches
and the deafening
sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to
that enterprising drum dealer,
Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
Indeed he did insist on
drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads
and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to
be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK)
that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around
the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating
Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began. And that's the truth.
I would not make up this stuff.
ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE
Please do not Google or check this with Snopes.
They will lie to you. Trust me!
This is the truth, my computer guy from India assured me.
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com
did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and
long of leg.
Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town
to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short
of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in
between to send
messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath
the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by
Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold
all the goods he
had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying,
Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as
Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language
to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew to the People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly
take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich
Dominican Sybarites,
or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches
and the deafening
sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to
that enterprising drum dealer,
Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
Indeed he did insist on
drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drum heads
and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken
over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to
be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO,"
said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic
Educated Kid (GEEK)
that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around
the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating
Everything (GOOGLE).
That is how it all began. And that's the truth.
I would not make up this stuff.
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