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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
SpyderConvert
Member
Golfing With Dentures
A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go see Dr. Steinberg
for a new set of dentures the next morning.
His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.
"Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"
The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway
hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the testicles."
The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"
"It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go see Dr. Steinberg
for a new set of dentures the next morning.
His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.
"Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"
The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway
hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the testicles."
The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"
"It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
SpyderConvert
Member
Grandma's Eyesight
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother
asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he
cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his
grandmother also. The man cuts another picture in half, but somehow
winds up sending the bottom half instead of the top part. Realizing
what he has accidentally done he becomes worried about the conse-
quences he'll later face with his family.
Then a shimmer of hope appears in his thoughts . . . he remembers
how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice
and bury the photo in her memrobelia.
A few weeks later to his surprise he receives a badly hand-scribbled
note from his grandmother. It says:
"Thanks for the picture . . . change your hairstyle . . . it makes
your nose look too short . . . !
Message history
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother
asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he
cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part.
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his
grandmother also. The man cuts another picture in half, but somehow
winds up sending the bottom half instead of the top part. Realizing
what he has accidentally done he becomes worried about the conse-
quences he'll later face with his family.
Then a shimmer of hope appears in his thoughts . . . he remembers
how bad his grandmother's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice
and bury the photo in her memrobelia.
A few weeks later to his surprise he receives a badly hand-scribbled
note from his grandmother. It says:
"Thanks for the picture . . . change your hairstyle . . . it makes
your nose look too short . . . !
Message history
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked::yikes:
pps:
pps:
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
Be sure to send this to your kids or relatives also so they will know what happened to you.
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you Spyder Lovers. Then it dawned on me...oh, I'll just see you on the bus.
:yes:
Jerry Baumchen
Be sure to send this to your kids or relatives also so they will know what happened to you.
To help save the economy, the Government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.
I started to cry when I thought of you Spyder Lovers. Then it dawned on me...oh, I'll just see you on the bus.
:yes:
Jerry Baumchen
SpyderConvert
Member
Good Explanation
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked
so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please .... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman.
And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you.. I want a divorce right away!'
And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Fine, go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!'
And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked
so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car.
I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll
put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.'
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please .... Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?
Bob Denman
New member
vided
New member
Last edited:
Bob Denman
New member
:roflblack::clap::2thumbs:
The original:
The original:
Bob Denman
New member
:yikes: Now that's just mean... :lecturef_smilie: :shocked:
vided
New member
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[TD="class: m_1735242979413169644aolmail_yiv4954218108m_3098748762743008727message-wrapper"]THE VALUE OF A GOOD VOCABULARY?
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[TD="class: m_1735242979413169644aolmail_yiv4954218108m_3098748762743008727message-wrapper"]THE VALUE OF A GOOD VOCABULARY?
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I called an old MIT classmate and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...
However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
[/TD]
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[TR]
[TD="class: m_1735242979413169644aolmail_yiv4954218108m_3098748762743008727message-wrapper"]
I called an old MIT classmate and asked what he was doing.
He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment."
I was impressed...
However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]
Bob Denman
New member
The guy has a future in Marketing... :clap: :2thumbs:
I just have one question?......
If he was the pilot, then how the F*** did he get back up there after jumping out of the plane & plummeting away?? :shocked: Freefall just doesn't work like that, which is why it's called free-FALL! :yikes: It's not like you're on the weighted end of a dirty great long yo-yo string or elastic cord, so you get the chance to pop up & down a few times before cutting away to complete your fall back to the hard stuff.... :dontknow: Generally, there's only one way you are headed once you step outside of an aeroplane - and that's DOWN!! Fairly fast too! :thumbup:
Last edited:
IdahoMtnSpyder
Active member
Or Government document writing! :roflblack:
IdahoMtnSpyder
Active member
Don't agree with me? That's alright. This is a free country. You are perfectly free to be wrong! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
ofdave
New member
After dying in an accident, three friends go to Heaven for orientation.
They were all asked the same question: “When you are in the casket, friends and family will be mourning over you. What would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy immediately responds, “I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy thinks a minute and replies, “I’d like to hear them say…LOOK! HE’S MOVING!!!” __________________
They were all asked the same question: “When you are in the casket, friends and family will be mourning over you. What would you like to hear them say about you?”
The first guy immediately responds, “I would like to hear them say that I was one of the greatest doctors of my time and a great man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy thinks a minute and replies, “I’d like to hear them say…LOOK! HE’S MOVING!!!” __________________
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