Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[ofdave]

 

[Bob Denman]

Things to Ponder on a Wednesday

If you attempt to rob a bank you won't have any trouble with rent/food bills for the next 10 years, whether or not you are successful.

Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?

What if my dog only brings back my ball because he thinks I like throwing it?

If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?

Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

The letter W, in English, is called double U. Shouldn't it be called double V?

Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.

Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.

The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims".

Intentionally losing a game of rock, paper, scissors is just as hard as trying to win.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.

Your future self is watching you right now through memories.

The doctors that told Stephen Hawking he had two years to live in 1953 are probably dead.

If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.

Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

If you rip a hole in a net, there are actually fewer holes in it than there were before.

 

[granpa in Cincy]

Actually 2/2/22 falls on a Wednesday nojoke

 

[Zip]

2/22/22 will be on a Tuesday nojoke

 

[Bob Denman]

Thank you! :thumbup:

https://www.timeanddate.com/date/weekday.html?day=22&month=2&year=2022

 

[granpa in Cincy]

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-day-of-the-week/2022/2/2

WEDNESDAYnojoke

 

[Zip]

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-day-of-the-week/2022/2/2

WEDNESDAYnojoke

It's 2-22-2022 Tuesday nojoke

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-day-of-the-week/2022/2/22

 

[granpa in Cincy]

[h=3]The day of the week for 2/2/2022 will a Wednesday[/h]

 

[JerryB]

Hi granpa in Cincy,

Re: The day of the week for 2/2/2022 will a Wednesday

I Googled and found a Tuesday: https://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/?year=2022&country=1

Jerry Baumchen

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked: Perhaps I should just edit that post, and remove any reference to 2/22/2022... :dontknow:

 

[Zip]

:shocked: Perhaps I should just edit that post, and remove any reference to 2/22/2022... :dontknow:

Maybe since people don't understand

 

[Bob Denman]

done... :thumbup:

 

[Peter Aawen]

done... :thumbup:

But now no-one can see if you actually meant February the Second in the year Twenty Twenty Two, or February the Twenty Second in the year Twenty Twenty Two?!! :dontknow:

So it just makes all those other posts about 2/22/22 vs 2/2/22 & vice versa even more confusing!! :gaah:


So Bob, I vote that you re-edit IN what you edited OUT so that it's all back how it was & is less confusing than it is.... or was that is?? :shocked:

Naah, gotta be is as it was! :lecturef_smilie: All that make sense? :dontknow: Good! :clap:




:barf: :banghead:

 

[Bob Denman]

"Ya know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In St Andrews there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing laddies", said the Irishman. "Back home in me own Killarney, there's Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks they'll take
you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!"

The Englishman & Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not to me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "but it did happen to me sister."

 

[vided]

 

[Bob Denman]

Okay, we all know about cute little computer symbols called
"emoticons". Fortunately, someone has come up with a different set of
these little symbols for adults that, for lack of a better term, are
called "butticons". So, without further ado, here's the latest
butticon collection:

1. (_!_) = a regular ass.
2. (__!__) = a fat ass.
3. (!) = a tight ass.
4. (_*_) = a sore ass.
5. {_!_} = a swishy ass.
6. (_o_) = an ass that's been around.
7. (_x_) = kiss my ass!
8. (_X_) = leave my ass alone!
9. (_zzz_) = a tired ass.
10. (_E=mc2_) = a smart ass.
11. (_$_) = money coming out of his, or her, ass.
12. (_?_) = dumb ass.

 

[mowin]

Okay, we all know about cute little computer symbols called
"emoticons". Fortunately, someone has come up with a different set of
these little symbols for adults that, for lack of a better term, are
called "butticons". So, without further ado, here's the latest
butticon collection:

1. (_!_) = a regular ass.
2. (__!__) = a fat ass.
3. (!) = a tight ass.
4. (_*_) = a sore ass.
5. {_!_} = a swishy ass.
6. (_o_) = an ass that's been around.
7. (_x_) = kiss my ass!
8. (_X_) = leave my ass alone!
9. (_zzz_) = a tired ass.
10. (_E=mc2_) = a smart ass.
11. (_$_) = money coming out of his, or her, ass.
12. (_?_) = dumb ass.

I'll have to show this to my wife. Now she only has to call me #12...:roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

pps: I get a whole lot of 7,10, and 12 thrown at me on a daily basis... :banghead:

 

[classicvw]

pps: I get a whole lot of 7,10, and 12 thrown at me on a daily basis... :banghead:

A lot of times when I'm driving people wave a finger at me telling me I'm #1 !

 

[Bob Denman]

That's because you're Number One in their hearts!! :clap:

What was it, that our Learned Scholar Friend had to say about "Number One"?

:roflblack: