Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

cmbspyderrss · Aug 28, 2017

Not in anyway knocking BMW's but the joke was funny.

vided · Aug 28, 2017

It's all about priorities :2thumbs::2thumbs:

Bob Denman · Aug 29, 2017

:agree: For better or worse; the situation with the Wife will eventually work itself out...
The bike cannot fix itself! nojoke

Bob Denman · Aug 29, 2017

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world,

I realized that, at my age,

I don't really give a rat's ass anymore.

If walking is good for your health,

the postman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish,

and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives15 years,

while a tortoise doesn't run,

and does mostly nothing,

yet it lives for 150 years.

And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.

Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.

13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .

I go somewhere to get something,

and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you?

ofdave · Aug 29, 2017

An old guy walked into a barbershop looking for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and instructs the old fella to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.

When the barber finished, the old man says this was the cleanest shave he’d had in years, but
he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed the little ball.

“That’s no problem,” the barber replied. “Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does.”

vided · Aug 29, 2017

Bob Denman · Aug 30, 2017

BigGuy66 · Aug 30, 2017

Wait...WHAT!

Fatcycledaddy · Aug 30, 2017

BigGuy66 said:
View attachment 153110

I had a boss that looked like that:yikes:

Bob Denman · Aug 30, 2017

Forget the Boss... I look like that on most mornings! :shocked:

But on some of them: I look Damn Good! :thumbup:

IdahoMtnSpyder · Aug 30, 2017

Bob Denman said:
Forget the Boss... I look like that on most mornings! :shocked:

But on some of them: I look Damn Good! :thumbup:

So do I! I look damn good to the left and to the right before I back out my driveway! I look damn good to the left and to the right before I turn onto the highway from my street! I look damn good ........!!!! :roflblack: