• There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.

Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

It's Not My Fault That You Didn't Use Them!

A husband and wife were traveling by car from Key West to Boston.

After almost 24 hours on the road, they're felt too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest.

They stopped at a nice hotel and took a room, but they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.

When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains. "Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," complains the man again. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100."

"That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

"Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could have."
 
Guilty --- sort of

A well respected doctor had sex with one of his female patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he just couldn't.

The guilt and sense of betrayal of his patient was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Don't worry about it.
You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go."

But, invariably, another voice in his head would bring him back to reality, whispering: "You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard."
 
Two blondes are in a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."
"We don't have any." replied the first woman.
"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the game warden.
"But officer," replied the second girl, "we aren't fishing. All we have are magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."
The game warden lifted up the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," shrugged the game warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the game warden left.
As soon as he was out of sight, the women started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop! Doesn't he know that there are steelheads in this river?!"
 
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Hi folks,

A man in Bar Harbor, Maine calls the cops to report his wife missing. Says she went kayaking in the harbor and didn't return!

Cops start a big search and call him the next day, saying they found the overturned kayak, but no sign of the wife!

The next day they call and tell him they have bad news, good news and better news! The bad news is, they found the wife on the harbor bottom, drowned. The man asks what's the good news.

Cop tells him that when they pulled her up, she had 12 of the finest Maine Lobsters that anyone can remember seeing since the 60"s clinging to her and the Fire Department thought he might want a share of them!

The man asks what's the better news and the cop tells him they are going to pull her up again tomorrow!


:yes:

Jerry Baumchen
 
A Fundamental Question

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play, so he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.

After consulting the Bible, the priest says, "My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."

The man thinks: "What does a priest know about sex?"

So he goes to a minister who, after all, is a married man and experienced in this matter.

He queries the minister and receives the same reply. Sex is work and therefore not for the Sabbath!

Not pleased with the reply, he seeks out a Rabbi, a man of thousands of years of tradition and knowledge.

The Rabbi ponders the question, then states, "My son, sex is definitely play."

The man replies, "Rabbi, how can you be so sure when so many others tell me sex is work?"

The Rabbi speaks softly: "My son, if sex were work, my wife would have the maid do it."
 
Hi Bob,

Re: But if it is work: Do we need to provide hospitalization, Workers Comp, and Disability insurance?

That is only really important as regards who is the worker & who is the workee.

:yes:

Jerry Baumchen
 
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