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Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
I think that she'd be cheering and applauding!
They don't call him the "Elephant Man", for nothing! :bowdown:
Last edited:
cuznjohn
New member
disclaimer: i am italian
scientist from all over the globe met in Germany to talk about what they are planning for upcoming space endeavors. they talked about planet exploring, setting a base on the moon, and continued use of the international space station. all of a sudden, a scientist from Italy stood up and said they are planing of sending a man to the sun. the room became quiet, then people started asking how they are planing on doing this when the sun is so hot. the Italian scientist laughed, and said it will be easy. he said, WE PLAN ON DOING IT AT NIGHT
scientist from all over the globe met in Germany to talk about what they are planning for upcoming space endeavors. they talked about planet exploring, setting a base on the moon, and continued use of the international space station. all of a sudden, a scientist from Italy stood up and said they are planing of sending a man to the sun. the room became quiet, then people started asking how they are planing on doing this when the sun is so hot. the Italian scientist laughed, and said it will be easy. he said, WE PLAN ON DOING IT AT NIGHT
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Groan...
:clap: :roflblack:
:clap: :roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
JerryB
New member
Hi folks,
While golfing, I accidentally over-turned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later." I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," she insisted.
She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. And I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart I guess"
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
While golfing, I accidentally over-turned my golf cart.
A very attractive golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.
She said, "Come up to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later." I noticed her silky bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be a very nice figure.
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on now," she insisted.
She was so pretty, and very, very persuasive. And I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed.
After a couple of Scotch and waters, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better now. But I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, letting her robe fall slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
I replied, "Still under the cart I guess"
:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: Oh my...
:clap:
:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
:clap:
:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
SpyderConvert
Member
Italian Honeymoon
It's OK. I'm Italian
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in
Jersey to say hello
to this friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?"
Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto excepta for da train ride down."
"Whaddyou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia,
she pack a biga basketa food.
She bringa da vino, some nicea cigars for me, and we werea lookina
forward to da trip, and open upa da luncha basaket .
The conductore come aby, waga his finger at us anda say, 'no eat in disa car.
Musta use a dining car.'
So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch
and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino!
Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say,
'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.'
So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar.
The conductore, he waga is finger again and say:
'No a smokina in disa car. Musta go to a smokina car ..'
"We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.
Then my beautiful Virginia, and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed.
We just about to go badaboom badaboom and the conductore,
he walka through da hallway shouting at a topa his a voice..
'Nofolka Virginia !
‘Nofolka Virginia !
"Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."
It's OK. I'm Italian
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in
Jersey to say hello
to this friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?"
Luigi said, "Everyting wasa perfecto excepta for da train ride down."
"Whaddyou mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we boarda da train at Grana Central Station. My beautiful Virginia,
she pack a biga basketa food.
She bringa da vino, some nicea cigars for me, and we werea lookina
forward to da trip, and open upa da luncha basaket .
The conductore come aby, waga his finger at us anda say, 'no eat in disa car.
Musta use a dining car.'
So, me and my beautiful Virginia, we go to da dining car, eat a biga lunch
and starta at open da bottle of a nice a vino!
Conductore walka by again, waga his finger and say,
'No drinka in disa car! Musta use a cluba car.'
So, we go to cluba car. While a drinkina da vino, I starta to lighta my biga cigar.
The conductore, he waga is finger again and say:
'No a smokina in disa car. Musta go to a smokina car ..'
"We go to a smokina car and I smoke a my biga cigar.
Then my beautiful Virginia, and I, we go to a sleeper car anda go to bed.
We just about to go badaboom badaboom and the conductore,
he walka through da hallway shouting at a topa his a voice..
'Nofolka Virginia !
‘Nofolka Virginia !
"Nexta time, I'ma just gonna taka da bus."
Bob Denman
New member
That one reminds me of this:
Bob Denman
New member
SuperBowl LI...
After all: didn't the Falcons lead for more minutes??
After all: didn't the Falcons lead for more minutes??
mowin
New member
Kinda like the popular vote... :roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
Remember Phyllis?
oldguyinTX
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 60+year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.
We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
What's that? I asked
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night.'
We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
What's that? I asked
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night.'
We went back to her place. We walked in. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?'
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