Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[ThreeWheels]

 

[Fatcycledaddy]

I know its used, look at the crack in the seat on the right hand side.:barf:

 

[Bob Denman]

View attachment 143061

That reminds me that it's almost Valentine's Day again... :banghead:
I think that I'll get the Missus a "Texas Valentine". :clap:

 

[Bfromla]

The "M" word... by Jeff Foxworthy.
Have you ever wondered why it's OK to make jokes about
Catholics, Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the
Italians, the Polish, the Hungarians, the Chinese, the
French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad
golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc, but its insensitive
to make jokes about the Muslims?


Well, it's time to level the playing field and be
politically incorrect, by including our friends, the
Muslims, on this grandiose list.


So Jeff Foxworthy did his part to include the Muslims on his
list ...


1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally
object to the use of liquor, You may be a Muslim.


2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket
launcher, but can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.


3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.


4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider
bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.


5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and
suicide, You may be a Muslim.


6. If you can't think of anyone that you haven't
declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.


7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry
explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.


8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have
uses, other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a
Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man
should own at least four, then you, too, may be a Muslim.
10. If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you
are part of the problem here in America …but if you delete
this, you are most likely a Muslim.

However accurate this may be. It was not done by Foxworthy, it did use his well known "you may be" part. Just plagiarism fyi
http://www.snopes.com/politics/humor/foxworthy.asp

I wasn't there but I still care!
POW MIA VETS

 

[Peter Aawen]

I know its used, look at the crack in the seat on the right hand side.:barf:

Surely that's not a crack?!? It looks much more like a formerly tightly curled thick dark hair that was stretched over the edge of the seat while it was wet.... maybe while trying to wipe it off?!? So maybe the seat hasn't been u....... Oh :shocked:

Sorry, my bad! :barf:

 

[JerryB]

Hi folks,

Hopefully this one is not a repeat:

My wife and I went to the Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'.

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'.

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's almost 3 times a week ! .........You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'.

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day ..You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow...'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

:yikes:
Jerry Baumchen

 

[cuznjohn]

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked: Cuzn... That is deep: VERY deep! :shocked: :clap:

 

[cuznjohn]

:shocked: Cuzn... That is deep: VERY deep! :shocked: :clap:

about 30 fathom"s

 

[Bob Denman]

:clap:

 

[cuznjohn]

 

[Bob Denman]

If that stuff includes WD-40 in it's ingredients: I'm buying a truckload of it! :yes::thumbup:

 

[mowin]

A polaks multi tool. :roflblack:

I ordered two cases...

 

[Bob Denman]

:clap: If you run short of it: email me! :thumbup:

 

[Bfromla]

Not quite
Fyi you cant do everything with that that you can the original all purpose roll

 

[cuznjohn]

 

[Bob Denman]

:clap: Nice... :thumbup:
It may not be fashionable; but it does show that he has his own unique style!! :firstplace: :2thumbs:

 

[mowin]

Did ya notice the old lady waiting patiently inside the car while pics are snapped. Looks like she smiling for the camera too.

 

[cuznjohn]

i have a feeling she took the picture, she was a reflection in the glass. now i wear a belt and suspenders, and once my suspenders hung up on a tree when i was hunting, and my pants ended up the same way

 

[Peter Aawen]

Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if that image hadn't been shopped - I mean, how many pairs of trousers have you seen out there with a 31" inseam & a 35" zipper??? Why would he need a zipper that long?? Maybe that's why she's smiling!! :shocked:

But she does look to be inside the car - she's visibly behind the steering wheel, while the reflection of the building in the windscreen is overlaid...