Bob Denman
New member
If the question is:
"How do you like your steak cooked?"
My response: "YES!!" :thumbup:
"How do you like your steak cooked?"
My response: "YES!!" :thumbup:
-
There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bob Denman
New member
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniorswould have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to thebathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw thatit was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, rememberits God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 - Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 - Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 - In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniorswould have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to thebathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw thatit was good.
So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, rememberits God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
#9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 - Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 - Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 - In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
Last edited:
Bob Denman
New member
HE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY
LAW OF Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you’ll have to pee.
LAW OF gravity
Any coin, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.
LAW OF Random numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you’ll never get a busy signal and someone
will always answers.
LAW OF the alibi
If you tell the boss you were late because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation LAW
If you change lanes , the one you were in will always move faster than
the one you are now in (works every time)
LAW OF the bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW of close encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen.
LAW of result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
LAW of biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
LAW of the theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbuck LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s LAW of the lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
LAW of physical surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the
floor covering, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet.
LAW of logical argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s LAW physical appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s LAW of public speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s LAW of commercial marketing strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctor’s LAW
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go the doctor, by the
time you get there you will feel better
LAW OF Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch and you’ll have to pee.
LAW OF gravity
Any coin, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the
stupidity of your act.
LAW OF Random numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you’ll never get a busy signal and someone
will always answers.
LAW OF the alibi
If you tell the boss you were late because you had a flat tire, the
very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation LAW
If you change lanes , the one you were in will always move faster than
the one you are now in (works every time)
LAW OF the bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW of close encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen.
LAW of result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
LAW of biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
LAW of the theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
The Starbuck LAW
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you
to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s LAW of the lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
LAW of physical surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the
floor covering, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the
carpet.
LAW of logical argument
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s LAW physical appearance
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s LAW of public speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s LAW of commercial marketing strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctor’s LAW
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go the doctor, by the
time you get there you will feel better
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked::agree: 
Bob Denman
New member
:congrats: :clap: :firstplace:
:shocked: But now I have about twenty jokes rolling around in my head, and any one of them, will get me banned! :gaah:
EDIT: By the way: Do you know the difference between Chuck Schumer, and Tom Brady?
Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner!! :clap:
:shocked: But now I have about twenty jokes rolling around in my head, and any one of them, will get me banned! :gaah:
EDIT: By the way: Do you know the difference between Chuck Schumer, and Tom Brady?
Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner!! :clap:
Last edited:
PrairieSpyder
New member
:congrats: :clap: :firstplace:
:shocked: But now I have about twenty jokes rolling around in my head, and any one of them, will get me banned! :gaah:
EDIT: By the way: Do you know the difference between Chuck Schumer, and Tom Brady?
Tom Brady is a Patriot and a winner!! :clap:
I think you watched Fox News last night!
vided
New member
Bob Denman
New member
I was a fan of Dennis Miller; before it was cool...
Pirate looks at --
New member
Actually
The next time I watch FOX news will be the first. I did watch "Vice News Tonight", last night!:firstplace:
The next time I watch FOX news will be the first. I did watch "Vice News Tonight", last night!:firstplace:
Bob Denman
New member
As much as I don't care for his Politics: he is VERY good at getting stuff done! :clap:
mowin
New member
But most is the wrong kind of stuff.....
IdahoMtnSpyder
Active member
H*** no! One of the best benefits of cutting the cord is F News isn't in the lineup!
Sent from my SM-T350 using Tapatalk
Bob Denman
New member
I'm NOT disagreeing... But we also don't need to get another thread pulled...:banghead:
mowin
New member
But we also don't need to get another thread pulled...:banghead:
Remember who mentioned him first? :lecturef_smilie:
Bob Denman
New member
:shocked: I was only talking about football...
mowin
New member
I would love to have seen what led up to that.
Similar threads
