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There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
Bfromla
Well-known member
Id like to add 1
So why do men grow into
"OLD FARTS"?
Growing old sucks , yes you get bigger louder
& think they only started as "PIP SQUEAKS".
I wasn't there but I still care! POW /MIA VETS
Bob Denman
New member
That's why I prefer my Doctor: her hands are rather petite...
And the Co-Pay on my insurance, is much less than it would cost for a different kind of "professional" :roflblack:
P.S. I don't mean to pick on Bernie. I kind of liked the guy.
vided
New member
A FIRST !!!!!
History will be made either way:
If Hillary Clinton wins the Presidency, it will be the first time that two U.S. Presidents have slept together.
If Donald Trump wins the Presidency, it will be the first time that a billionaire has moved into public housing vacated by a black family.
History will be made either way:
If Hillary Clinton wins the Presidency, it will be the first time that two U.S. Presidents have slept together.
If Donald Trump wins the Presidency, it will be the first time that a billionaire has moved into public housing vacated by a black family.
vided
New member
DISASTER! 2017
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the
Middle East. Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know
where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is
in shock.
Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil and monetary assistance.
Latin American countries are sending clothing.
New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the
infrastructure.
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
President Donald Trump, not to be outdone, is sending two million
replacement Muslims.
God Bless President Trump.
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits the
Middle East. Two million Muslims die and over a million are injured.
Iraq, Iran and Syria are totally ruined and the governments don't know
where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is
in shock.
Britain is sending troops to help keep the peace.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil and monetary assistance.
Latin American countries are sending clothing.
New Zealand and Australia are sending sheep, cattle and food crops.
The Asian countries are sending labor to assist in rebuilding the
infrastructure.
Canada is sending medical teams and supplies.
President Donald Trump, not to be outdone, is sending two million
replacement Muslims.
God Bless President Trump.
Bob Denman
New member
:clap: :roflblack: :2thumbs:
M109Dreamer
Active member
My new favorite song......
https://youtu.be/a7jAieAn5GE
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G920A using Tapatalk
https://youtu.be/a7jAieAn5GE
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G920A using Tapatalk
Joe T.
Member
Getting Older
Most of these have been around the internet many times. But, still funny IF you are that certain age:
CALL THE POLICE - WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND YOU DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turnoff the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about
them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire
Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story)
Don't mess with old people!
A few chuckles for seniors.
GETTING
OLDER
A distraught senior citizen phoned
her doctor's office. "Is
it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you
prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told
her. There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just
how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating
table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he
asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and
just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother
is going to come and live
with you and your wife...."
( I LOVE THIS !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it. This is so true.
I love to hear them say "you
don't look that old."
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer
things seem worth waiting in line
for. (Mostly because we forgot why we
were waiting in line in the first place !!)
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their
odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved, or maintained!
********************
When you are dissatisfied and
would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being
old is comfortable.
*********
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper... it's worse
when you forget to pull it down.
````````````````
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around
Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young
guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I
guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a
little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can
help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What
does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says,
"Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
(ADORABLE)
*********************
(And this final one especially for me,)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my
shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
************************
Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . stick around awhile . . . it will!
Most of these have been around the internet many times. But, still funny IF you are that certain age:
CALL THE POLICE - WHEN YOU'RE OLD, AND YOU DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turnoff the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy, you should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available"
George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone and counted to 30.
Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people
stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about
them now because I just shot and killed them both; the dogs are eating them right now," and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire
Trucks, a Paramedic and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" (True Story)
Don't mess with old people!
A few chuckles for seniors.
GETTING
OLDER
A distraught senior citizen phoned
her doctor's office. "Is
it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you
prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor told
her. There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just
how serious is my condition
because this prescription is
marked 'NO REFILLS'.."
***********************
An older gentleman was on the operating
table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he
asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and
just remember, if it doesn't go well, if
something happens to me, your mother
is going to come and live
with you and your wife...."
( I LOVE THIS !)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age and
start bragging about it. This is so true.
I love to hear them say "you
don't look that old."
---------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer
things seem worth waiting in line
for. (Mostly because we forgot why we
were waiting in line in the first place !!)
---------------------------------
Some people try to turn back their
odometers. Not me! I want people to know why I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved, or maintained!
********************
When you are dissatisfied and
would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
-------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being
old is comfortable.
*********
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper... it's worse
when you forget to pull it down.
````````````````
Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around
Wal-Mart when they collide. The old guy says to the young
guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I
guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too... I can't find her and I'm getting a
little desperate." The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can
help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,
with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What
does your wife look like?' To which the old guy says,
"Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."
(ADORABLE)
*********************
(And this final one especially for me,)
"Lord, keep Your arm around my
shoulder and Your hand over my mouth!"
************************
Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . stick around awhile . . . it will!
Sam Mac
New member
Drivers license
Drivers license
Mother's Driver's License
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh'
'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?'
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
Drivers license
Mother's Driver's License
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy ,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh'
'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
'My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend,
'all you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card, it has everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 32.'
The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?'
'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'
'And,' the little girl says triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'
'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'
mowin
New member
The biker, and the little girl
A biker pulls up beside a little girl walking down the street going home from school, and asks her if she would hop on back for a ride?
The little girl ignores the biker, and keeps on walking.
The biker says to the little girl, okay I'll give you $10.00 if you will hop on bank, and go for a ride.
The little girl ignores the biker, and keeps on walking.
The bikers says, okay, final offer. I'll give you $20.00, and a big bag of candy if you will hop on and go for a ride.
Finally the little girl says, Daddy you bought the Harley instead of the Spyder, so you'll just have to ride alone.
A biker pulls up beside a little girl walking down the street going home from school, and asks her if she would hop on back for a ride?
The little girl ignores the biker, and keeps on walking.
The biker says to the little girl, okay I'll give you $10.00 if you will hop on bank, and go for a ride.
The little girl ignores the biker, and keeps on walking.
The bikers says, okay, final offer. I'll give you $20.00, and a big bag of candy if you will hop on and go for a ride.
Finally the little girl says, Daddy you bought the Harley instead of the Spyder, so you'll just have to ride alone.
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
Sam Mac
New member
Gun story
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his un-holstered pistol and yelled, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!”
A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his un-holstered pistol and yelled, "I have a 45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven round clip plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."
A voice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!”
Bob Denman
New member
ThreeWheels
Active member
With my hapless love life, I've chosen to get a heart tattooed on my right shoulder.
It's going to read:
Forever In Love
Steven
and
"Your Name Here"
It's going to read:
Forever In Love
Steven
and
"Your Name Here"
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