I just can't see having spent all this money for shocks and not playing with them.
taxmyzer,
Good on you for seeing it this way, you will be rewarded by your efforts.
Sounds like you should bias the spring to perform when you are 2 up and leave it there. Its a bit of a pain to keep changing them to match up solo or 2 up ridding each time. Someone posted that the 2014 Elka's are using Eibach springs rated for 400 lbs/in. Using that as a guide, look at your Elka shocks and measure how many pitch threads there are per inch on the shock body. They are fine pitch threads, so I'd guess it might be 20 (?). That means a single turn to compress the spring is adding 20 lbs of additional preload (400lbs/in x 1/20 in) per shock, so with 2 shocks, you have added 40 lbs of preload. Now that load is along the shock axis, so the actual amount in the up and down direction is about half (keeping things simple) of the 40 lbs, so call it 20 lbs.
I found based on my test, that about half of the riders weight is on the front suspension. That means the passenger weight will be far less on the front axle, I'd use 35% as a guide. So, if your wife weighs 100 lbs, 35 (100 x 0.35) will be on the front axle. So, you can see if the pitch is 20 threads per inch, you'll need about 2 full turns. This lets you estimate how many turns to try on your first adjustment.
When you set the preload, you should push the rubber bumper down to the shock body, then have your wife get on, then you get on. Try not to bounce the bike getting on. Then you get off followed by your wife. Look at the rubber bumper and see how much it has moved. You will be shooting for about 20% of your working range (by the way, post back what your working range of the shock is - it is equal to the distance from the top of the rubber bumper, when pushed down onto the shock body, to the top of the chrome shaft. I'd guess it is 2" or as much as 2.5"). If you are using more, you will have to compress the spring more. If you want to qualify for nurd status

, Collect 2 data points and you can make a graph to project how many turns you need. You data will look like:
current position // sag distance (for 2 people)
First data set = 0 and 0.5"
Then make 2 turns of the preload stopper, so
Second data set = 0.10" and 0.45" (remember 1 turn = 1/20 if you have 20 threads per inch. Also, you should see the initial gap decrease as you add more preload on the springs)
Plot those data points, and you use the slope of a linear curve fit to figure out how many turns to set the sag. If you can't do the plot, post the info and I'll do it for you and give to earned credit for nurd membership.
Do this and I'll help you get this done, then we'll tackle the other settings.
Jerry