another funny

[cuznjohn]

a couple was out for a drive one night when they get pulled over by a cop, the cop asked the husband that was driving, DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER SIR, the husband said no and the wife said, YOU KNOW YOU WERE SPEEDING AND THAT IS WHY HE PULLED US OVER, and he said to the wife SHUT THE :cus: UP and she did. at that point the cop said, SIR YOU DIDN'T USE DIRECTIONAL'S EITHER, and the husband said, OFFICER YOU ARE MISTAKEN BECAUSE I ALWAYS US MY DIRECTIONAL'S, and the wife said YOU NEVER USE DIRECTIONAL'S SO WHY ARE YOU LYING, and the husband replied, I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE :cus: UP. at that point the cop looked at the wife and asked DOES HE ALWAYS TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, and the wife said, NO SIR, HE IS A REALLY NICE PERSON, HE ONLY TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT WHEN HE HAS BEEN DRINKING...

 

[Oldmanzues]

Very Good, However if you talk to real cops, they probably have had something close to this happen.
A very long time ago, when I was a Air Force cop, I pulled a guy for using both sides and both shoulders of the road. I told him to get out of the car and he said, sir, I am sorry, I am to drunk to stand. I said, please try. Then he tried and fell on his face, hurting himself. Luckly I had a partner who confirmed my story at the time. The medical did later on
Oldmanzues

 

[Chupaca]

Good one..!!

:roflblack::roflblack: why didn't the wife drive..?? :hun:

 

[Bob Denman]

I've got a hunting buddy, who is a retired NYS Trooper.
(I need all of the friends like that!)
Anyway; he's out patrolling the local section of the 4-lane, and pulls a couple over for speeding.
The guy is driving; he's apologetic, and gets his paperwork out.
All this time; his Wife is yammering away. She's insulting the Officer, his friends, his profession, and starting to question his lineage... :banghead:
So my buddy gets done with the paperwork, hands it back to the driver and says,
"Thanks for being so co-operative today. I was going to let you go with just a warning, but your Wife forced me to change my mind."
"Have a nice day!"

 

[cuznjohn]

I've got a hunting buddy, who is a retired NYS Trooper.
(I need all of the friends like that!)
Anyway; he's out patrolling the local section of the 4-lane, and pulls a couple over for speeding.
The guy is driving; he's apologetic, and gets his paperwork out.
All this time; his Wife is yammering away. She's insulting the Officer, his friends, his profession, and starting to question his lineage... :banghead:
So my buddy gets done with the paperwork, hands it back to the driver and says,
"Thanks for being so co-operative today. I was going to let you go with just a warning, but your Wife forced me to change my mind."
"Have a nice day!"

once had a girlfriend like that, there was a place where people dragged raced on the highway called CONNECTING HIGHWAY, i was there one night and i saw i was getting a parking ticket for being there, well long story short, Debbie called the cop more names that he told me that if i couldn't keep her quiet that my car would be towed and i would get locked up.

 

[Bob Denman]

Reminds me of another joke...
This woman is brought into court on a shoplifting charge.
The Judge asks the District Attorney what the woman stole.
"A can of sliced pineapple"
"How many slices of pineapple were in the can?", asks the Judge
"Six"
"Ma'am; I'm afraid that I have to sentence you to six days in jail."
The woman's husband then asked to address the court...
"Your Honor; she also stole a can of peas..."

 

[Craniac]

I had a friend that got pulled over. He couldn't figure out why since he wasn't doing anything wrong. Cop walks up to him and asks if he knew that his wife fell off the bike a couple miles back.
My friends answer was, "Thank you officer. I was worried I was going deaf."

 

[Bob Denman]

Kind of like...

 

[PrairieSpyder]

a couple was out for a drive one night when they get pulled over by a cop, the cop asked the husband that was driving, DO YOU KNOW WHY I PULLED YOU OVER SIR, the husband said no and the wife said, YOU KNOW YOU WERE SPEEDING AND THAT IS WHY HE PULLED US OVER, and he said to the wife SHUT THE :cus: UP and she did. at that point the cop said, SIR YOU DIDN'T USE DIRECTIONAL'S EITHER, and the husband said, OFFICER YOU ARE MISTAKEN BECAUSE I ALWAYS US MY DIRECTIONAL'S, and the wife said YOU NEVER USE DIRECTIONAL'S SO WHY ARE YOU LYING, and the husband replied, I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE :cus: UP. at that point the cop looked at the wife and asked DOES HE ALWAYS TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT, and the wife said, NO SIR, HE IS A REALLY NICE PERSON, HE ONLY TALKS TO ME LIKE THAT WHEN HE HAS BEEN DRINKING...

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[ARtraveler]

Good stuff folks. Lucky you, I don't have a bag of tricks when it comes to jokes. :roflblack::roflblack:

 

[JerryB]

Hi Bob,

Re:

View attachment 99985

You are going to be hung with the same rope that they use on cuznjohn.

Jerry Baumchen

 

[Bob Denman]

I said that I have a sense of humor...


I made no guarantees as to it's quality! :roflblack:

If you want it pulled; just say so... :thumbup:

 

[GunDoctor]

Got stopped in Atlanta airport as I was getting my bags wearing this by two old ladies who made a point to tell me how much they disliked my shirt.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Bob Denman]

How'd you answer?

I'd have said something like, "That's one of the greatest things about this Country; we are all free to express ourselves, and I want to thank you for doing so!"