Bob Denman
New member
He got there First!!! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
-
There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.
Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.
- Thread starter ThreeWheels
- Start date
He got there First!!! :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:
Bob Denman
New member
Always remember what your Mom told you...
:clap: :2thumbs:
:clap: :2thumbs:
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
:yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes::yikes:
Bob Denman
New member
Bob Denman
New member
And since we're on this topic...
Black Pig
New member
:clap:
Bob Denman
New member
Snow Day in California
What a morning…
8:00 AMI made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at#12 complained about the nose. Carrotsareforfood,notfor decoratingsnow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim guyacross the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops. Theyshow up to see what’s going on.
8:42 I’m told that the snowman’s broomstickhas to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
8:47Things get worse after I mutter,"Yeah, if it's up your ass."
8:52 My phone and broomstick are then seized and I'm taken away in a police car
8:53 My neighbors are cheering.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moralof the story: When it's this cold, stay insideand remember when America was great.
What a morning…
8:00 AMI made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at#12 complained about the nose. Carrotsareforfood,notfor decoratingsnow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim guyacross the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops. Theyshow up to see what’s going on.
8:42 I’m told that the snowman’s broomstickhas to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
8:47Things get worse after I mutter,"Yeah, if it's up your ass."
8:52 My phone and broomstick are then seized and I'm taken away in a police car
8:53 My neighbors are cheering.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moralof the story: When it's this cold, stay insideand remember when America was great.
Bob Denman
New member
SPECTACUALR SPIDERMAN
New member
yea there are, they are all bearded men.
Bob Denman
New member
Pirate looks at --
New member
Snow Day in New York!
What a morning…
8:00 AMI made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at#12 complained about the nose. Carrotsareforfood,notfor decoratingsnow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim guyacross the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops. Theyshow up to see what’s going on.
8:42 I’m told that the snowman’s broomstickhas to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
8:47Things get worse after I mutter,"Yeah, if it's up your ass."
8:52 My phone and broomstick are then seized and I'm taken away in a police car
8:53 My neighbors are cheering.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moralof the story: When it's this cold, stay insideand remember when America was great.
2nd Moral of the story....we aren't all that different!
What a morning…
8:00 AMI made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.
8:15 So, I made a snow woman.
8:17 The nanny of the neighbors complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at#12 complained about the nose. Carrotsareforfood,notfor decoratingsnow figures.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snow couple is white.
8:31 The Muslim guyacross the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops. Theyshow up to see what’s going on.
8:42 I’m told that the snowman’s broomstickhas to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.
8:47Things get worse after I mutter,"Yeah, if it's up your ass."
8:52 My phone and broomstick are then seized and I'm taken away in a police car
8:53 My neighbors are cheering.
9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.
Moralof the story: When it's this cold, stay insideand remember when America was great.
2nd Moral of the story....we aren't all that different!
SpyderConvert
Member
Paddy's Missing Fingers
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally
Cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
Paddy said,
'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers?
Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2018!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put dem back on and made you like new!
Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
And Paddy said,
' How da fook was I 'spose to pick dem up !!!
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally
Cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in Cork 's hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy and said, 'Lets be avin' da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'.
Paddy said,
'Oi haven't got da fingers.'
'Whadda ya mean you haven't got da fingers?
Lord Tunderin' Jesus, it's 2018!
We's got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.
I could have put dem back on and made you like new!
Why didn't ya bring da fingers?!?'
And Paddy said,
' How da fook was I 'spose to pick dem up !!!
SpyderConvert
Member
The Distinction Between Guts and Balls
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard
colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they,
however, know the difference between them?
Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical
Journal: Volume 323; page 295.
GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"
I trust this clears up any confusion.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've heard
colleagues referring to people with Guts, or with Balls. Do they,
however, know the difference between them?
Here's the official distinction; straight from the British Medical
Journal: Volume 323; page 295.
GUTS - Is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being
met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: Are you
still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling
of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on
the butt and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby"
I trust this clears up any confusion.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome; both are fatal.
Bob Denman
New member
Origin of the Name...
A slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee was attending a great but as yet unnamed athletic festival 2500 years ago in Greece.
In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed, "OH !! Limp Pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into "Olympics."
In those days, believe it or not, the athletes performed naked.
To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on drink containing saltpeter before and throughout the variety of events.
At the opening ceremonial parade Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked magnificent males marching toward her and she exclaimed, "OH !! Limp Pricks!"
Over the next two and a half millennia that morphed into "Olympics."
SpyderConvert
Member
What Some Older Guys Really Want
A 72 year old man is having a drink in a Sarasota bar. Suddenly a
gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so
attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the
eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
“I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your
wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m
game. I want $100, and there’s another condition”.
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what
her condition is.
“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:
“Paint my house.”
A 72 year old man is having a drink in a Sarasota bar. Suddenly a
gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so
attractive that he just can’t take his eyes off her.
After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him.
Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the
eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:
“I’ll do anything you’d like. Anything you can imagine in your
wildest dreams, it doesn’t matter how extreme or unusual it is, I’m
game. I want $100, and there’s another condition”.
Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what
her condition is.
“You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”
The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman.
He then whips out his wallet and puts 10 $10 bills in her outstretched hand.
He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:
“Paint my house.”
PrairieSpyder
New member
What's it called when a chameleon can't change colors?
A reptile disfunction!
A reptile disfunction!
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