Everyone makes a lemon here and there. Honda, BMW and even Harley. Not an excuse, just reality. Not even saying your Spyder is a lemon. A bad dealership can turn an otherwise minor issue into a lemon scenario sometimes. A minor problem in the hands of the wrong tech just gets worse. It's what happens when you have a problem that makes all the difference. The dealership is the main cog in this wheel. Admittedly, Harley has a better dealership network than Can-Am. But there are a great number of very good Can-Am dealerships out there.
I've had customers tell me that their dealer said BRP would not cover the work, parts back-ordered, etc., etc. Only to find out that the dealer never contacted BRP about the problem. Not to say that parts can't be back-ordered or that BRP will not cover the work. But again, we go back to the main cog, the dealership.
Mechanical issues leave a bad taste in your mouth that are hard to wash out. I know how you feel. The dealer is telling you one thing, your buddies are telling you something else, and we here at Spyderlovers are definitely full of opinions. But all you know is your Spyder isn't right and it does not seem to be getting right. Been there myself. It's no fun.
I have an original Premier 08 GS that I've ridden from East Tennessee to California 3 times. Canada twice. Florida at least 3 times, Kansas several times and many shorter trips. I did have the dreaded DPS failure. But that was corrected by the dealership pretty quickly. My Spyder has been as bullet proof as any other bike I've ever owned. And there are many more duplication's of my story than yours. You just don't hear them.
I am not trying to Poo-Poo your experience. I know it is real. Just trying to put it in perspective and give you some hope of a light at the end of the tunnel.
There are hundreds of satisfied Spyder customers for every dissatisfied one. But you're not going to get much confirmation of that here. This forum is the 'Doctors Office' for Spyders. For the most part, you're going to hear sick Spyder stories. A doctor isn't surprised that it's this way. It's the same with every forum.
There is no finer ride than a Can-Am Spyder that is right. But there may not be a more aggravating machine than a Can-Am Spyder when it isn't.
My worthless advise... Take your Spyder to another dealership (a verified good one if that is possible). Work with them and see if you can get your ride straightened out before you throw in the towel. Not only do I predict that you'll keep it and love it. But you're not selling grief to the next guy!
Good Luck!