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What not to say to a cop

:D So who wants some ice cream??
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This may be a little riskeeeee, but why not pose this scenario

A guy speeding over a bridge, late for work, gets stopped by a cop standing on the bridge operating radar.


After being stopped the cop asks the man what his profession is and he replied "A professional ******* stretcher."


The cop, being curious, asks "Exactly what does a professional ******* stretcher do?"


The driver explains that he starts with a small ******* and continues to stretch it until its six feet tall.


The cop asks the driver "What do you do with a six foot *******."


The driver responds "Apparently give him a radar and stand him on a bridge."
 
Ga Blue Knight said:
Did you ever stop to think why it is that cops eat donuts, cheap hamburgers and other junk food? For starters no real lunch break where you get to go out to a nice restraunt. If you are in uniform it's like you are made of honey and all of the wanna be nuts in the world come up to you and ask silly technical questions about law enforcement. Also your paycheck is somewhat stressed and is not conducive to "healthy food" but is right in line with the 99cent special at the house of hamburger helper. There are also many times when you do sit down to a decent meal you get a call to respond and you are the only unit within miles. So you leave your paid for lunch and off you go to have the dispatcher call you off three mile from you lunch. So most LEO's like portable unhealthy foods like donuts, candy bars etc. Now after forty two years as a cop, I have type two diabetes, missing a kidney, high blood pressure and bad arthritis in my hands and feet. Not complaining mind you just trying to provide some insight to your humor.
Click to expand...

42 years as a cop, how on earth did you do it for so long. I am in my 23rd year, and we get to retire at 25 years, my plan is to go at 28 years. I started at 19. If I did 42 years, I would be leaving at 61. And in around year 30, they would be carrying me out in one of those white jackets and bringing me to a rubber room.

Hey listen guys/gals, great post lots of funny replies. My first response was to want to take the cops side in the story, my second response was " hey, I know for a fact there are a a few "A" holes on the job, but they are the extreme minority". All in all I have a great sense of humor about posts like this.

FYI donut eating, fast food cops are pretty much unheard of these days. Lots of guys packing lunches and eating regularly and good throughout the day between calls or going home for a bite to eat, using their lunch breaks to go to the gym. Lots of PD's have personal trainers and fitness programs.

If you ever see me in a donut shop it's because it is the only place open, or the coffee is good. I rarely book out at a diner, because like Blue Knights says, all the nut bars are attracted to us. And, after dealing with "S" storms all day long...I just want to have a decent meal in peace. Do I get wise cracks, oh ya. So what...the majority of people don't mean anything by it and are just trying to have fun with us. The ones that mean it, who cares. They don't get it, and my survival is not dependent on whether they do or not.

There are lots of good well intentioned people in the world and that's how I choose to live my life on the job. If your not one of them, you better be well equipped if you come across me. Losing has never been an option.

FYI, I would love to be able to eat donuts everyday...my wife wont let me.

Cheers everybody, end of shift time to go home, its my turn to cook tonight. Son is at an elite hockey camp for the week. Looking forward to getting on the Spyder driving 80 km one way to see him play. Be safe.
 
You are correct

bunchabull said:
Of course we'll all jump to the wrong conclusion. Like its not possible they were initially assigned an emergency call and then taken off of it a short time later because other units that were nearby freed up and took the call, or they were cancelled for some other reason. Unless of course they came screaming into the parking lot with lights and siren and jumped out with guns drawn. If that happened, or even if it didn't and I thought the worst like a robbery, I would not be walking into the business like business as usual. I would be turning around and finding another place.
Click to expand...
I am not Rambo. The cops turned lights and siren off b4 turning into the Dunk. Also they parked in parking spaces, so I realized that there was no emergency there, and You are correct they may have had a call cancelled.
 
effgjamis said:
Just a thought..

I have not, but have you heard of a Dunkin Donut being robbed???
Click to expand...


Sure. In fact, we just had a double homocide at one close to the station (everyone on calls far away) They are up early, so easy pickings for the thugs.
Last year Mr. T's got held up, owner pursued, got shot in the chest, round hit his wallet (Who the hell keeps a wallet in a front pocket..lol)He returned fire and peppered the car.

Another key issue is bathrooms. You can't go the bathroom in a patrol car. The average person in a high heat environment drinks alot of water. It has to go somewhere...

Years ago the paperwork was on paper, not on a CAD/MDT. Any flat surface is nice when your writing reports your Sgt. reviews. Calls used to be light in the early AM, allowing coffee and a report. Not anymore. It's a freakin war zone. You run to the station in the last hour because your 5 reports behind due to stacked calls....not fun
 
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