Rule of thumb ... tighten a bolt until just before it snaps off ... ;-}
PS - on the shoes. Recently found out EBC uses a special coating on their shoes to give you instant grip out of the box. That coating wears fast, but is enough to give you extra stopping power until the pads break into the rotors properly. Nice feature, that ... supposed to be on a par with the actual pad material it is.
My lifetime rule of thumb has been tighten until it snaps off, so I like your approach better. I thought the brakes were pretty good on my 2021 900, and I haven't been scared too much yet. Of course, everything is relative. I'm comparing the brakes to my previous 2004 Dyna Wide Glide, and you can imagine who the winner is.