Statements Heard by Drs. in the Colonoscopy Room

[Woody]

A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'






2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'






3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'






4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'






5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'






6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'






7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'






8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'






9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'






10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'






11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'






12. 'Now I know why I am not gay.'






And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

 

[retread]

You left out "What's a nice kid like you doing in a place like that?"

john

 

[Dan McNally]

My first was done by a military doctor . . . who started humming "Dueling Banjos" . . . I told him to remember what Burt Reynolds did to those guys!

 

[cuznjohn]

first one

the first one i had done they didn't knock me out and they didn't have the tv screens so he had to look in the scope, so he said to me WANT TO SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE and i said naaa i have had my head up there a few times :roflblack:

 

[reverendg]

Hey doc, are those your hands on my shoulders?

 

[Bob Denman]

:yikes::roflblack: "Hey Doc; you better make sure to count your rings before you leave! I'm keeping whatever I find!"

 

[jerpinoy]

:roflblack:Fellows:roflblack: Fellows I love chloroform.

 

[mindman]

It's a sh***y job, but someone's gotta do it!