NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

[tconaagt]

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[TD="colspan: 2"] NINE WORDS WOMEN USE (factually proven over the years)

(1) Fine :This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually not a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' .. that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
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[ARtraveler]

Informative--but very dangerous territory. I am going to pass on further comments on this one.

Is this going to be another controversial thread? :roflblack:

opcorn:

 

[fastfraser]

Thanks A Lot :roflblack::roflblack: Good one. I like it .

 

[Bob Denman]

Wow! :shocked: In the last 48 hours I've heard all of them but "Thanks" about sixteen times apiece! :yikes:

 

[ThreeWheels]

As the survivor? of three divorces, I can attest to the accuracy of this lexicon.

Much Appreciated !

 

[Bob Denman]

As the survivor? of three divorces...!

I figured out the secret many years' ago; We stay together just to have fun making one another miserable! :shocked: :thumbup:

 

[SpyderAnn01]

Whatever.

 

[dancogan]

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack: And correct on all nine counts (or should I say guilty on all nine counts?). :thumbup:

 

[Holly]

SAME NINE WORDS

THAT'S OKAY Tconnaagat. WHATEVER. GO AHEAD and poke fun at us women. THAT'S FINE. But I'll bet if you give us FIVE MINUTES, and really listen to what we are saying, NOTHING we say would make any sense to you'all. But DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT. Men are from Venus, women are from Mars. THANKS FOR LISTENING! .......Or are you ? LOUD SIGH

 

[tconaagt]

THAT'S OKAY Tconnaagat. WHATEVER. GO AHEAD and poke fun at us women. THAT'S FINE. But I'll bet if you give us FIVE MINUTES, and really listen to what we are saying, NOTHING we say would make any sense to you'all. But DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT. Men are from Venus, women are from Mars. THANKS FOR LISTENING! .......Or are you ? LOUD SIGH

After 54 (mostly happy years of marriage)my reply was usually "AGAIN?'
"

 

[Bob Denman]

:shocked: Arntu might be having a rough day now that you've got Holly cranked up...

 

[wyliec]

As the survivor? of three divorces, I can attest to the accuracy of this lexicon.

Much Appreciated !

You didn't learn after the first time?

 

[arntufun]

:shocked: Arntu might be having a rough day now that you've got Holly cranked up...

Naw...... She was laughing and thought that list was dead on. :roflblack::roflblack:

 

[wyliec]

. Men are from Venus, women are from Mars. THANKS FOR LISTENING! .......Or are you ? LOUD SIGH

I read the book and thought it was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? I'm going to have to check that out.

 

[Holly]

I read the book and thought it was Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus? I'm going to have to check that out.

You are absolutely right...... I put that in deliberately to see who would be the first to comment on it. Interesting you read the book. I figured more women than men would have read that. .........If you read one of my earlier posts, I did say men should never try to understand women. :roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

:agree: Understanding is impossible and pointless...
What's important is appreciating! :thumbup:

 

[AndyIsRiding]

Been Married for 35 years, same wife, I ALWAYS have the last word in an argument.

I'LL end it with: Yes Dear!

And that ends it.

 

[Holly]

Words men use

Number one : What's for dinner ? :bbq:

Number two : I don't need to read the directions. :lecturef_smilie:

Number three : Where is my -----?:dontknow:

Number four : You're right :agree:

Number five : The game's almost over opcorn:

Number six : You want to go shopping ?:yikes:

Number seven : What's the matter? :banghead:

Number eight : I'm so lucky to have you :bowdown:

Number nine : Silence....often spoken the loudest of all. :shemademe_smilie:


:joke::joke::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

You forgot, "Yes Dear..." pps:
(I'm having it put on my headstone!)

 

[tconaagt]

The worst four letter words

Please ladies, only read this if you have a broad mind!!!!


Please excuse the four letter words in the following story…I would have deleted them, but it would lose its impact without them.....

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon.

When they got back, the bride immediately called up her mother.

"Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...."

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean all these awful four-letter words! You've got to come and get me and take me home..."PLEASE MAMA!"

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT four-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"*

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust, wash, iron, cook, bake..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.