I found today hard!

[Netminder]

I do not usually discuss my personal life here, but this is in a way a bit riding related. My father has been extremely sick the last couple of months and has been in palliative care for the last 3 weeks. We as a family have been taking shifts to make sure he has someone everyday and as I am still working I have the weekends. I really do not mind as it allows me to spend time with him. He is 91 and up until a few months ago was totally independent and still driving, so it is very hard to watch him going down so quick and suffering. So I have had no time to change my oil and take my Spyder out for its first ride of the season, and this weekend was hard as the weather was finally beautiful and warm and there were so many bikes out! I felt guilty wishing I was riding, but emotions have been so high the last couple of months, that it would be so nice to get out. This feeling will pass and I will get out eventually, I just hope he does not suffer much more and finds some peace soon. Not sure why I wrote this, but feels better now that I did. Thanks.

 

[cuznjohn]

PRAYERS COMING YOUR WAY

 

[Netminder]

Thank you cuznjohn.

 

[oldgoat]

I hope he has a peaceful departure. You are able to do something I was not, as my parents were in the UK when they died & both did it suddenly.

It was nice out today though, but you will get your share of beautiful days.

 

[PrairieSpyder]

Praying for your Dad and for you. ray: My Pa's 90th birthday was yesterday, and I cherish all the time I get to spend with him now.

 

[Spyder_Cowgirl]

Kindred Spirit -- Kindred Heart

Netminder .... I know your pain. My mother is also 91 and suffered a serious fall last September; 1 week in hospital and 3 weeks in respite care were needed. Because she lived at home and alone, the Social Worker would not release her to go home until round the clock care was set up. Fortunately, already had a working relationship with "Seniors at Home" in San Francisco and they were able to provide two aides (one of which is there 24 / 7 now). My mother is whip smart and keeps her mind active, it's just her body is old and tired -- but, I prefer to keep her at home as long as possible. She will be happier and healthier at home ... I know that ... but it is still difficult to see her decline. I don't see it every day, nor every weekend, as she is in California and I am in Texas (and that presents a whole new set of challenges ... as I'm sure you can imagine).

Anyway ... you are not alone in facing this difficult time and I pray for your father, for you, and for your family. Peace be with you ... Ann

 

[ARtraveler]

Our thoughts and ray:ray: go with you.

 

[Netminder]

Thanks all! And ray:ray:to you and your Mom also Ann!

 

[Orange Spyder Man]

my prayers are with your Dad and you...

osm

 

[bmccaffrey]

Netminder
It's always nice to share feelings and get it off your mind.All your feelings are natural.
I know how you feel. Went through the same thing 1 1/2 years ago. My dad was 88 and failed quickly.
I know it's tough not to ride but u only get one Mom and Dad. Spend as muçh time as u can with them.
There will be plenty of time to ride.
God Bles you and you Dad ray:

 

[Bigtow]

Thoughts and prayers to you going thru the same thing with my dad...

 

[Dennis in Lodi]

Embrace the moment

Buried my 91 year old father two weeks ago. Do everything you can to be there for his last moment. It's a very spiritual an powerfull moment for all.

Before my father passed we joked about him giving me a sign from beyond. We were at a Hospice and I watched his last breath. A little while later I went to get a pop. Had not drank or ate anything for about four hours, my mind was elsewhere. I needed some change from my pocket and in doing so I dropped 3 coins on the floor. The quarter rolled under the pop machine, a dime circled around and came back to me. But, the nickle I dropped neither rolled or spun. I laned BALANCED on it's edge between my feet and never moved.
I stepped back and called over a Hospice custodian and asked him if he could see the nickle standing on it's edge. He said YEP! I asked if he would believe me if I said it landed like that. He said you bet. Every single day unexplained things happen at this facility but that's a first.

Just thought I would share.

 

[Deanna777]

Netminder, Spend as much time with your dad, ray:ray:ray:ray:ray:ray: go out to you and your family. Deanna

 

[one2doo]

Prayers

 

[Cruising RT]

My prayers are with you!

I do not usually discuss my personal life here, but this is in a way a bit riding related. My father has been extremely sick the last couple of months and has been in palliative care for the last 3 weeks. We as a family have been taking shifts to make sure he has someone everyday and as I am still working I have the weekends. I really do not mind as it allows me to spend time with him. He is 91 and up until a few months ago was totally independent and still driving, so it is very hard to watch him going down so quick and suffering. So I have had no time to change my oil and take my Spyder out for its first ride of the season, and this weekend was hard as the weather was finally beautiful and warm and there were so many bikes out! I felt guilty wishing I was riding, but emotions have been so high the last couple of months, that it would be so nice to get out. This feeling will pass and I will get out eventually, I just hope he does not suffer much more and finds some peace soon. Not sure why I wrote this, but feels better now that I did. Thanks.

May God be by your side during this difficult time. I lost my step Dad last week, and I have great comfort in knowing that God needed another Hero in his kingdom. Stay Strong and treasure your time with your dad.

 

[Retired 2012]

We can relate, my wife takes care of her Dad 24/7 for the last 3 years. He is 91 also and lives in another town. Care giving is a very stressful and emotional task. Please know our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Make time to decompress when you can.
God Bless
DJ

 

[retread]

Thoughts and Prayers for your Dad, you, and family.

john

 

[3 Wheel Rider]

Thanks for sharing. Don't feel guilty about wanting to take some time for yourself. Witnessing a loved one age and seeing their daily challenges is not an easy task. I live in a different state than the rest of my family and my siblings experienced the same struggle/moral dilemma recently. You see, just last month my mom (72yrs) was a passenger in a vehicle that was struck by a 17yr old female driver. The accident was so bad that one of her feet was amputated when the vehicle colapsed around her and she was subsequently taken by life flight to the hospital an hour drive away. My siblings drove to and from the hospital every day for a week before she passed. In addition to the daily drives, my brother had to commute 4 hrs each direction a couple times so he could catch up on work for his employer. Why do I bring this up, not for sympathy or empathy but rather to simply share that they too expressed guilt about wanting to take a day for themselves while she was in ICU, especially after she flat-lined and was resuscitated. If it helps, each eventually took a day off and it helped them rejuvenate their mental well being.

Here it is a few weeks later and my siblings are back to doing daily runs to the hospital for our aging aunt (88yrs).

Obviously the decision is yours and the amount of time you share with your loved one will be cherished by both of you. The question that you need to ask yourself is, "Can you give yourself permission to take a few moments for your own benefit?

 

[WEB-WVR]

Netminder; Hang in there these are tough times and many of us have been through similar. On one of the days you are not caring for your Dad...get the oil changed, do a safety check and wash your Spyder. :spyder2: Get it road ready....it will make you feel good.

Also, I can only say for now...spend as much time with your Dad as you can. He will be thankful and you wont regret one minute of it...you will be glad you did. My Dad had terminal lung cancer he died when I was 25 some 34 years ago...way to young. My brother and I did not understand how serious it was. Either the doctors did not tell Mom and Dad or they kept/protected us from how serious it was. When he was getting worse he asked me to go with him on a fishing trip (it would have been his last)... but newly married, working, etc....I at the time felt too busy to go with him and did not. I regret to this very day not going on that fishing trip with him.

So dont feel bad about anything...the Spyder will be waiting for you, your Dad needs you and you will always have the memories !

Thoughts are with you and your family ! ray:

 

[WEB-WVR]

To all those here that are going through challenging times or have gone through the challenges of life and poor health and the loss of loved ones... not to speak for others but we all care....you are not alone. :spyder2: