How kids are raised today

[Rogue Hawk]

I work with many first generation immigrants, they are from China, Russia and India. I don’t have kids, but I do listen to them when they discuss their kids. They as parents have high expectations for their kids and are very active in their personal development. It’s commonly referred to as “Tiger Moms” by detractors of this approach to raising kids. They particularly impress upon them the importance of education. They send their kids to places like NASA Space camp, science and math camps. Math camp? I never knew something like that existed when I was a kid. They also impress upon them to be competitive. They prepare them for the big bad world.

American parents today also seem to also be more involved with their kid’s development. But it’s different approach. They are involved in their kid’s emotional development. They teach them to be sensitive to insults, to get along in groups, and to not stand out and excel at the emotional ‘expense’ of others. So any trauma is treated as a major event that requires soothing comfort and removal from whatever caused the pain. Perpetrators of such emotional insult are severely punished.


My parents provided me a home, cloths and food and that was it. I was otherwise left to my own devices. I think back on this now and it was a major detriment. I did not learn the importance of education and competitiveness until I was an adult, so I had to hustle to make up for lost ground. I succeeded for the most part, but much of my young adult life was painful and wasted.



From what I can see, the second generation immigrant kids will be the future leaders and will thrive (Alphas) . The American kids will be passive and follow along (Betas). Because of the pain I suffered as a young adult, if I was a parent, I would be more aped to be like the immigrant parents. I do firmly believe that teaching kids to be competitive and have high personal standards leads to a more fulfilling life in the long run, even if it does cause some pain early in life.



So what do you think?

 

[Holly]

AMEN BROTHER !!!!!! :thumbup:

 

[wyliec]

My parents provided me a home, cloths and food and that was it. I was otherwise left to my own devices. I think back on this now and it was a major detriment. I did not learn the importance of education and competitiveness until I was an adult, so I had to hustle to make up for lost ground. I succeeded for the most part, but much of my young adult life was painful and wasted.







So what do you think?

You still sound like one of those betas. There are plenty from your time period and before who realized the importance of education, competitiveness, and pulling themselves up by their boot straps, by the time they got out of high school, or before.

 

[Rogue Hawk]

You still sound like one of those betas. There are plenty from your time period and before who realized the importance of education, competitiveness, and pulling themselves up by their boot straps, by the time they got out of high school, or before.

I was not aware at the time. I certainly know now. I joined the Air Force and got a college degree in night school. I now have a MS in Software Engineering and have a thriving career as a Computer Architect . It's just I could have achieved this sooner in life had I known.

 

[UtahPete]

I think it is interesting but too broad a generalization to be meaningful. Well written though :thumbup:

 

[Chupaca]

So true....

I grew up outside the US and saw that when i moved here some time ago. It has gotten worse but I am sure this group is smart enough to know the OP was not refering to every single soul in america....Tell me your not getting tired of all the things you grew up with disappearing because they offend someone....:lecturef_smilie:Tell me your not a little disappointed to see everyone get the same trophy even if they did nothing to earn it...:lecturef_smilie:Good thing is that we do have those that excel regardless and will hopefully be the ones to move on and keep strong.... ray:

 

[Bob Denman]

When I was a kid: I never met a beating that I didn't need... :thumbup:

 

[Mad Mac]

Must agree with Rogue Hawk on this one. My childhood was quite similar, my dad, at todays standards, would be in prison for some of the "butt whip'ns" I got in my young life, now that I think about it, I really did deserve them! They kept me in check. Now that I am older and on the down hill slide, I really am glad dad squared me up the way that he did. It made me the individual I am, to have been able to handle 21 years of service life, hold down few other jobs to be able to support myself and family, and also work 18 years as a C.O., and be able to deal with the people that comes with that line of work and be able to retire from it without any litigations against me and no work related injuries. If I had to do it over again, I would have listened more and bitched less. I also wasted some of my younger days on crap and I wish I could get back. Mac:doorag:

 

[Rogue Hawk]

I think it is interesting but too broad a generalization to be meaningful. Well written though :thumbup:

Yes, it is broad. It's a complex subject that could fill an entire book.

 

[2Paw]

I was taught to work hard by my Grandparents and Parents example, the value of education by them also, because they wanted a better life for me than what they had. If I got a bad grade the first question was, did you do the best you could, the second was how can WE make it better. Sports taught me competitiveness. I continued this kind of thing with my own kids and they continued with theirs.
When my son was a kid and played Soccer, I once made a coach and most of the other parents mad by making him give back a Participation Trophy when they first started doing this kind of thing. It made him mad too but he has continued that with his own kids. Participation is what you paid for not what you earned.

All this is just my opinion so take it or leave it.

 

[RinconRyder]

After five of my own and now on second set of grandkids I think the answer is very simple.....kids whose parents take an active role in their education and social development tend to be high performing as adults. Otherwise, there are exceptions, but most kids who have parents who are not interested in raising them properly haven't got a clue.

 

[UtahPete]

After five of my own and now on second set of grandkids I think the answer is very simple.....kids whose parents take an active role in their education and social development tend to be high performing as adults. Otherwise, there are exceptions, but most kids who have parents who are not interested in raising them properly haven't got a clue.

:agree:

 

[Navvet]

I work with many first generation immigrants, they are from China, Russia and India. I don’t have kids, but I do listen to them when they discuss their kids. They as parents have high expectations for their kids and are very active in their personal development. It’s commonly referred to as “Tiger Moms” by detractors of this approach to raising kids. They particularly impress upon them the importance of education. They send their kids to places like NASA Space camp, science and math camps. Math camp? I never knew something like that existed when I was a kid. They also impress upon them to be competitive. They prepare them for the big bad world.

American parents today also seem to also be more involved with their kid’s development. But it’s different approach. They are involved in their kid’s emotional development. They teach them to be sensitive to insults, to get along in groups, and to not stand out and excel at the emotional ‘expense’ of others. So any trauma is treated as a major event that requires soothing comfort and removal from whatever caused the pain. Perpetrators of such emotional insult are severely punished.


My parents provided me a home, cloths and food and that was it. I was otherwise left to my own devices. I think back on this now and it was a major detriment. I did not learn the importance of education and competitiveness until I was an adult, so I had to hustle to make up for lost ground. I succeeded for the most part, but much of my young adult life was painful and wasted.



From what I can see, the second generation immigrant kids will be the future leaders and will thrive (Alphas) . The American kids will be passive and follow along (Betas). Because of the pain I suffered as a young adult, if I was a parent, I would be more aped to be like the immigrant parents. I do firmly believe that teaching kids to be competitive and have high personal standards leads to a more fulfilling life in the long run, even if it does cause some pain early in life.



So what do you think?

Being a "second generation immigrant kid", i totally understand and agree with you.

Just a side note ... My wife and I retired (comfortably) 3 years ago (I was 58). My younger brother retired (very comfortably) in his 40's. My older brother (programmer) and baby sister (doctor) haven't figured out the retirement concept yet. But we were discussing it over dinner with our parents tonight.

 

[kep-up]

After five of my own and now on second set of grandkids I think the answer is very simple.....kids whose parents take an active role in their education and social development tend to be high performing as adults. Otherwise, there are exceptions, but most kids who have parents who are not interested in raising them properly haven't got a clue.

Now here is something on which you and I AGREE!

 

[Mad Mac]

After five of my own and now on second set of grandkids I think the answer is very simple.....kids whose parents take an active role in their education and social development tend to be high performing as adults. Otherwise, there are exceptions, but most kids who have parents who are not interested in raising them properly haven't got a clue.

:agree: Totally true. It pays off in the long run. Macnojoke

 

[IdahoMtnSpyder]

When my son was a kid and played Soccer, I once made a coach and most of the other parents mad by making him give back a Participation Trophy when they first started doing this kind of thing.