Dave & Teds Most Excellent Adventures 2013

CyncySpyder · Sep 18, 2013

Good News to report

:clap::yes:My buddy was released from the hospital this morning :yes::clap:

We thought from what the nursing staff told us last night, that he would be released to an inpatient rehab facility today, cause he still has somewhat slurred speech, a bit of face drooping on the left side and a lack of coordination on the left side, tho none of it is severe & does seem to be slightly improving as time goes by :bowdown: One test of placing pegs in holes and he could do it using his right hand in 15 seconds but with using his left hand, it took him about a minute & ten seconds :shocked: so he definitely has some work ahead of him to get back to 100% :yes: but the doctors think that with some lifestyle changes and hard work & effort of his part, he should hopefully make a full recovery :bowdown:

I had left work & went straight to the hospital yesterday, and unfortunately, Teddy was home alone for the entire day, over 17 hours in total, & Doug felt guilty that he was home alone & not there with him. He told me to make sure & tell Teddy that once he got out & was better, for sure he'd be grill'n the pup a nice juicy steak just for him :bbq:

I didn't leave the hospital til around 10pm last night, and I thought for sure, I'd have a mess to clean up when I got home, but I don't know how, but Teddy held it the entire time :bowdown: tho he had escaped the upstairs and had full reign of the condo, so maybe he was really good at hiding it, but I don't think so

When I was leaving last night, Doug said he felt bad about Teddy & I asked if he wanted me to bring him when I came back tomorrow & he said sure, why not

So I took him with me this morning & as usual, Teddy was a hit, not only with Doug, and all his family & visitors, but also the nursing staff & even other patients :2thumbs: When they were releasing Doug, and as I was rushing down to get the car, we actually got pulled into 2 other patients rooms as we were walking by to go to the garage to get the car. I tried to explain we were kind of in a rush & there on a personal visit, but I just couldn't say no & we went with the family member & saw the 2 different patients, & I know by the smiles on their faces, that was definitely the right decision

I swear, No pill or medicine can have that same positive effect on people :clap:

My heart sank tho with the 2nd patient, cause it was an elderly lady, I'm guessing in her 70s or 80s & she had just recently had a stroke also

only hers was a severe one :shocked: & she was critically impaired, but when she saw Teddy, I could see her trying her damdest to smile

even tho her body wouldn't do as she wanted :sour: Seeing her in the position she was in, I couldn't help but apologize & excuse myself & Teddy, cause as we started making our way down the hall again to the garage, tears were streaming down my face & I didn't want someone in her situation to see that. But it made it very clear & real just how lucky my buddy was, cause that just as easily could have been his fate :yikes: as well.

I think you can understand that these past couple of days have been an emotional roller coaster for us & I'm still torn on what to do from here. His mom was addiment that he couldn't return to his house alone, cause of his impairment & that all of his bedrooms are on the 2nd floor, whereas his moms condo has no steps to deal with & she has an extra room & lives alone also. I was a little shocked when Doug didn't say a word in disagreement & instead, totally agreed with her :shocked: We had discussed last night, after everyone else left & we were alone, where his mind-frame was & just how 'there' & aware he was of his situation. Cause he knows that he had a stroke & it caused slurred speech, but at first, that's all he would admit was wrong, & he didn't seem to realize that he had any impairment on the left side of his body. When evaluating, one of the therapist walked him down the hall, and he didn't realize that he was not seeing how close he was to objects on his left side, & he would have walked right into them. The Therapist had to tell him of that issue, but it didn't really seem to register at first, but now, I'm confident he's aware of his impairment.

One big issue is that his blood pressure is still not under control, and they've put him on meds and aspirin for it. At one reading, it was 179/127 & it got better after taking the pill, but I guess when the pill wore off, it started going back up, which worries me. They tested his corrotid arteries & they were clear and they also did an Electro-Cardiogram of his heart, and that was tested good. His cholesterol was only at 115, which isn't horrible, but they still want someone in his situation to have a cholesterol level below 100, so that's where the LifeStyle changes (Diet/Exercise) along with the new meds come into play.

One of the things that make this entire episode so shocking, is that my buddy of over 26 years is one of the healthiest people I've ever known. He never gets sick & I think he's only had 2 colds in the entire time I've known him ..... seriously :shocked: Before this, he didn't even have a regular doctor cause he never had a reason to visit one. So this is going to be a major change for him. He was wanting to return to work this morning, but they made it clear that he couldn't drive or work until he's released from his Occupational Therapist.

CyncySpyder · Sep 18, 2013

SO I'm still torn on what to do now

His mom recently battled breast cancer for the 2nd time in her life, and her last Drs visit the other day showed she's in full recovery and no signs of a return. Being older, this has taken alot of fight from her, but also being there for her son adds that desire we all have to be needed and to help those that we care about and love. She only lives about 10 minutes down the road from me, and she knows that if there's anything she needs, all she needs to do is call. These next few days are going to be the busiest for them, as Doug will have to be driven to see his new family doctor and also to start his Occupational Therapy sessions, and while I know his Mom can clearly drive and get around on her own just fine, and Doug can walk and get about well enough on his own that he doesn't require assistance, I also know, just like it has me, this has got to be emotionally wearing on her a lot. Heck, just spending the past 2 days in the hospital room with her ex-husband of the past almost 30 years (Dougs Dad) I know had to be a challenge for her.

So I'm not really sure what to do. I had originally planned on going to work this morning, until I heard what the doctors had decided and then I could leave to help and assist with whatever needed, but I was just so emotionally tired, that I subconsciously shut the alarm off when it chimed at 3:50 this morning, and I didn't wake up until my buddies ex-wife called me around 9am to see if I had any new info on him.

Knowing he's ok for the most part, the desire is there to just pack up Teddy & the camper & for us to hit the open road on our way to SpyderQuest. But I also know how emotionally drained I am & the fear I would be taking along with me, if he or his mother were to call needing my assistance & I was so far away & couldn't do anything. Not to mention, with his BP still not under control, what if something else happened & this isn't the end of whats going on, since no one can tell us what exactly caused it to happen in the first place.

They know from the CT-Scan & MRI that the front right lobe of his brain was affected, but they don't know how or why. No blood clots or anurisms were apparent, heart & arteries checked out good, so they don't know what or why, just that IT happened. They did say it was an actual stroke, for the medical lingo, but that it WASN'T what they consider an ITA or a mini-stroke & that he was lucky that it only did the damage that it did.

So here we are ...................... Conflicted & with a heavy heart about what to do next

RTVIPER · Sep 18, 2013

As someone said before, SpyderQuest will be there next year, your friend needs you now. Why take the chance. Hope everything works out for the best.

CyncySpyder · Sep 19, 2013

So here I sit ........... at work .......... but its the right decision at this time

I don't know why it was such a struggle, cause now that I've made the decision, I know it was the correct one for us to make. I guess the fact that while I was sitting there in the hospital room with my buddy, every now & then he'd look at me & say "New York isn't getting any closer" His way of telling me to go, but he also wanted to go to work that same day as well :lecturef_smilie: just how he is. I guess the struggle is more about feelings of guilt than anything else. I don't want him to feel guilty about us missing our trip & I know that no matter what I say, he's still going to feel guilty.

I'm still finding it difficult to understand how someone can go to bed feeling fine, and then, wake up the next morning and not be the same person that they were just mere hours earlier, possibly being changed for ever more. I'm so grateful & thankful that it wasn't worse than it was & just glad he's alive, aware and still has the possibility to make a full recovery :bowdown: I just struggle to understand ...... I guess it has brought about a fear in myself that I've chosen not to think about before ........

While I'm sad that we're going to miss the Inagaural SpyderQuest Event, but more so, miss seeing all our Friends that we've made in the NewYork area over the past 2 years of events there that we've attended, and miss meeting so many new friends that we've met here on-line, I know this is the correct decision for us.

Spyder_Cowgirl · Sep 19, 2013

Decision

Dave .... as I said in earlier post ... "trust your heart." Sounds like you did and it led you to the right decision for you and your buddy. Throughout your decision process, I kept asking myself what would I do in similar situation. While I can't say for sure (because I've not been there), I suspect my heart would have led me to the same conclusion -- forgo the fun and stick with family.

Offers little comfort, I'm sure -- but I agree with what you decided to do (your heart, and head, would not have been "at" Spyderquest anyway ... would have been back home with family).

Best Regards .... Ann

CyncySpyder · Sep 19, 2013

When one door closes ..... Jump out the Window

Since SpyderQuest is a no-go for us, and of course, depending on how my buddy is progressing, it looks like Teddy & I just may be able to now make the KY/Barkley Lake Kuttawa Spyder get-together the first weekend in October ..................... hmmmmmm ............... time shall tell

http://www.spyderlovers.com/forums/...ARKLEY-SPYDER-RIDE-Kentucky-lake-Barkley-lake

CyncySpyder · Sep 20, 2013

Things I never thought of

This experience with my buddy has really been .................. possibly a blessing in disguise

lookerjdc · Sep 21, 2013

how is your friend doing? well, I hope

how are you and Teddy doing? well I hope..

CyncySpyder · Sep 23, 2013

You know, the only word that comes to mind to describe my feelings right now as I sit here typing this is ............. CONFLICTED

I knew, with this past weekend being the Inaugural SpyderQuest Event & that Teddy & I would be missing it, well, I knew it would catch up with me eventually ........ emotionally speaking. Its not just about missing the event itself, its the fact that we were missing out on spending time with friends we made in the New York area over the past 2 years of attending the SITA Events. Someone posted about the event, its not about the Spyders, its about the people, and they couldn't be more right :bowdown: I'm sitting here, and I read thru some of the threads about how the event was a success & looked thru many of the pictures, and even tho I know we weren't there, for some reason, in the back of my mind, I kept hoping to see Teds Red Sled with his smiling face blazing on the back show up in one of those pics :shocked: possible insanity ....... guilty as charged :helpsmilie:I'm sorry that we missed such a great event and spending time with so many wonderful people

But I know in my heart, hopefully if Randy & the New York Gawkers choose to do this again, their will always be Next Year

ray:

But as sad as I am about missing the SpyderQuest Event, I have to admit, I got alot more out of this weekend than I ever had a clue about :bowdown:

As open & honest as I am here on this forum, I can honestly say, I seriously doubt that you really know me ..... I mean REALLY KNOW ME. I've mentioned many times before about how I considered myself to be anti-social before getting the Spyder or Teddy & how they have truly changed my life in more ways than I can relate here. Let me give you one example.

Growing up, even tho I'm from a large family, I was the baby of that family, the last one born in 1971 with my next oldest sibling being my brother that was 6 years older, then another brother that was 2 years older than him etc .... so in essense, I grew up alone. My father was 61 when I was concieved 62 when I was born & brought home from the hospital. All my siblings hated me at first, cause it was a very complicated birth for my mother who was 40 at the time & I was black & blue when brought home. My father was catholic, alcoholic & believed Archy Bunker & Hitler were two of the greatest men to ever walk the earth, so you can understand my childhood was less than ideal. I had no friends growing up, as we lived kind of secluded on 3 acres of land with no real neighbors for me to play with, so it was usually just me and my imagination for the most part. Needless to say, school didn't go well, as I was very awkward. When in my 1st year of high school, knowing my dad was such a racest but being intrigued, I tried making friends with one of the only African American kids in my highschool. Out of about 1100 kids, there were only 3. Well, his name was Andy & we started becoming friends, but I made sure he understood how my father viewed all black people but just because he viewed them that way, didn't mean that I did. Well, one day, Andy asked if he could come to my house to hang out, & I explained that I never had guests, especially not if they were black. My father would have a heart-attack. Andy looked at it like a challenge I think, & got permission to ryde my bus one day & to be dropped off at my house. I tried explaining how my father might react, and Andy explained that he had been dealing with racists his entire life & that one old man wasn't going to hurt his feelings. Well, the day came, and we walked thru the front door of my home, entering the kitchen and my dad was sitting at the kitchen table. His eyes about popped out of his head when he saw Andy, and then he looked me directly in the eye and in a severly stern voice said, "You better tell me you own him!" I just gulped, not knowing what to say & I looked at Andy for his reaction, & I could see tears welling up in his eyes, and he just turned to me and said, "I was wrong, I'm outta here." and he turned and walked out that door and walked the 16 miles to his home in a neighboring city, cause the city we lived in, of only 1200 people, all being nothing but white people. Remember, this was back in the early 80s, and where we lived was still very racially segregated .... mostly by choice. Andy wouldn't ever talk to me again, never even acknowledged I existed after that day. Soon after, my mom signed me out of high-school, as a freshman, so I could go to work full time & help support our family, since my dad was old and disabled and she was chronically sick.

Ever since that happened, I had made sure not to allow people in my life. I never really dated or socialized or anything like that. But at 16, my first job was as a dish-washer at Pizza Hut & that's where I met my now best-friend Doug. He was a shift-manager and knew my sister that was a waitress there, and she explained to him how awkward I was and really needed help in learning how to make friends. Well, I'll never forget, he was 6 years older than me, and he stopped by the dish-room to introduce himself and he asked me if I liked Pink Floyed? I was so clueless, growing up so sheltered, only listening to my dads country music & bluegrass of "Ive got a tear in my beer" & I didn't want to seem like such a putz, so I tried to bluff my way thru the question, and thought logically that a music duo/group/band or whatever they were being named Pink must have a girl in it and there must be a guy named Floyed & I totally lied and with a red beat face said, "Oh yeah, she & him are one of my favorite duos" to which Doug just blankly looked at me shaking his head as he walked away. I think he went to have a talk with my sister, who explained just how clueless to the real world I was at that time. And ever since then, not sure why exactly, but Doug decided to take me under his wing, and he became the cool 'Big Brother' that I never had when I was growing up. Everything I've done throughout my next 26 years and he's been right there, in one form or another, even over long disctances of when I got married and moved away to Florida and subsequently divorced and moved back, he's always been there.

And over these past 26 years, he's been the healthiest person I've known, seriously only been sick (like the flu) only twice in those 26 years. So for him to have this stroke, out of the blue, was shocking to say the least. It could have been so much worse, I mean, he's 95% him and well, and when its early in the day, you can barely tell anything had happened to him. But as the day goes by, he tires more easily, and as he tires, you can see the left side of his face is visibly droopy compared to the right side and his speach becomes less clear and more slurred making it a little hard to understand. He's still Doug in every way that I know Doug, just not as quick as he used to be, a little more gingerly in his step and even there, when tired, he'll inadvertantly slide his left foot when walking. As I said, he's 95% there, and we're hoping that time with an Occupational Therapist, and he'll soon be back to 100%, but it'll take some time.

Throughout this, like the first day in the hospital, he kept saying..... "New Yorks not getting any closer" meaning he didn't want me to cancel our trip & that he thought he'd be ok, and that Teddy & I should just go ........ he'd be fine. But what if he wasn't, I'd never forgive myself. He's staying at his moms condo for the time being, and Friday after work, I told him I'd go over to his house & check the mail, feed the fish and just make sure everything was ok. Well, once I got there, I realized his yard was getting overgrown, and living in a densly populated subdivision, Doug had always prided himself in how well kept the yard was & I knew he'd be ashamed of how it looked then.

TBC .....................

CyncySpyder · Sep 23, 2013

So even tho I had been at work since 5am that morning, Teddy & I set about getting out all of his power tools related to the yard work, and we set about getting done everything we could get done. Not cause he asked us to do it, but when I was over talking with his neighbor about his condition, and I looked over at Dougs house, I realized, in his present condition, he couldn't do any of what needed to be done.

This was the first time I realized this, cause with Teddy & I living in a condo, that's something we don't have to deal with, and in all honesty, I miss doing yard work like when I lived in Florida, it was one of my favorite things to do. It just gives you a sense of pride, knowing that where you live reflects upon you. I'd even do the trimming for Doug on a regular basis, cause he's extremely allergic to Poison Ivy and has some growing in different shrubs, and for some reason, it has never once effected me, so I would gladly do the trimming on the shrubs, but Doug would always take care of everything else, and he has a corner lot with a big front and back yards so he even has a riding mower to do it, which I had never been on til yesterday.

Well, on Friday, after talking with his neighbor, and even tho I was already tired from a long day at work, Teddy supervised as I got out the trimmer and went to work, then the edger after the trimmer. But then it got dark and I couldn't see to finish, so I walked back over to his neighbor and explained that I wasn't finished yet, and I knew their were unsightly piles of trimming all over, but that I would come back the next day and finish up. His neighbor is very close to Doug as well, and told me not to worry about it, and that he'd take care of it the following morning, which I thanked him for.

I have to tell you, I had been feeling sad about missing the SpyderQuest Event, but that night, I was as exhausted as I can remember being in recent memory and I was filled with a feeling of ............ I dont know ......... GOOD, Accomplishment, Well Being. I had done for another what they couldn't do for themselves, without being asked & without wanting anything in return ....... besides for him to get better...... & it felt good, really good.

Doug & his mom invited Teddy & I to join them for dinner & his mom asked if I wouldn't mind if she dropped Doug & his daughter off at my place so she could go to the theatre with her friend, cause as she put it, she thought it best that Doug not be alone, and Doug joked that she thought he needed a babysitter

............. so we spent Saturday together at our condo, and Doug was just happy to get out of his moms place for a while & said each day he's feeling better :thumbup:

Sunday, they envited us over for an early dinner again, & this time Teddy got more than he bargained for. I usually make him a plate when I'm eating, with food that I think he can handle since he's on a special diet, and I made the mistake of giving him some au gratin (cheesy) potatoes and OMG I wish I would have video'd that. We were about laughing ourselves out of our seats, cause the cheesy taters would get stuck in the room of his mouth, and he would lay down and try using his paws to scrape the cheesy taters out, but he just couldn't do it and he couldn't understand why he just couldn't swallow them and he'd flop on the floor like a floundering fish trying his best to get them dislodged, over and over again, til I actually had to help scrape it out with my fingers :roflblack: and had him take a few drinks of water, then he was fine, but it was just hilarious :roflblack::roflblack:

After dinner, Teddy & I went back to his house, and Teddy rode right on my lap while for the next 2 hours, we zipped around and around his yard on his ryding mower. Teddy thought it wierd & much noisier than his Red Sled, but he did just fine the entire time, ryding like the little king that he thinks he is

and you shoulda seen the looks from all the people driving by, cause I'm sure they had never seen a little black dog with a red mow-hawk and pom tail ryding on the lap of a lawnmower going round and round .................... :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

While I know the yard doesn't look anywhere near as good as when Doug does it, it gave me something I never even understood before. For this, I am thankful & it makes missing out on our SpyderQuest Adventure (this year) much more bearable

CyncySpyder · Sep 23, 2013

An interesting observation relating to heat & unintententional consequences on TRSled

As most of you know, we've removed the OEM Air-Box & Resonator & replaced it with the KewlMetal Air Intake & it has worked as hoped, in providing a much more pleasing note from the engine, with a lower tone growl than the buzzing sewing machine of our stock set-up. When all the OEM plastic that makes up the Air Management System is removed from the engine bay, it makes it much more wide open and allows for better air flow, as all that plastic is no longer blocking it from moving around.

One warm day last week, we ran Teds Red Sled almost entirely out of gas, and had no bars remaining on the digital display & the Sled LCD was showing the Temp. at around 102F but it was more accurately around 95F degrees. I had remembered reading a thread about boiling gasoline being such a problem, but it had been one that we really had ever dealt with. I also remember Scotty making a remark that most shouldn't have the issue, unless they are really low on fuel, which totally makes sense. Not much fuel and its easier for it to boil when its really hot.

Well, being almost dead empty, we stopped for fuel and I went to fill up, and we do have the New Larger OEM Fuel Cap that was sent out to ALL Spyders as a replacement for the original smaller one, to help with the Fuel Smell. Well, I'm guessing that what little fuel was left in the tank must have been boiling or nothing was left but vapors, cause when I went to remove the new Larger fuel cap, it would just turn and click, round and round, in either direction, but it wouldn't release at all. Try & try again, time after time, it would just spin and click, like I was putting it on, but it would react the same way for taking it off. I had never experienced this before and was getting frustrated after 10 minutes of trying to remove it, and just about gave up. We were only about 2 minutes away from home, so I thought we'd be able to make it home, but as I gave it one last try, it finally stopped clicking and the cap released. I couldn't tell if the fuel inside was boiling or not, but this gave me concern.

After reading of BRPs projected fix for the 13's overheating and melting their MC caps, and that basically their fix was nothing more than Heat-Shielding, I decided to order some from Amazon and before redressing Teds Red Sled for our anticipated SpyderQuest trip, I went ahead and put the Heat-Shielding all around the front and side parts of the fuel tank where it was in close proximity of the exhaust pipes, thinking that this may help keep the fuel from getting hot enough to boil or cause the cap to vapor-lock or what ever the proper term it is called to describe what had originally happened.

This seemed to work, but once we redressed the Sled, I then started to immediately notice that now the seat seems to get much more warmer than I had ever noticed it before :shocked: which on HOT days, and with now having a metal fuel access door built into the seat :yikes: well, I think you can imagine the delima :yikes: Unintended Consequinces...... I tell ya. At first, this worried me alot, but now that summer has turned to fall, and our temps have rapidly dropped, and seeing as Teddy & I ryde year round, I'm thinking right now, this may not be such a bad situation to be in now.

I have already developed a possible solution with using a couple of 3 inch bilge-blowers and some ducting for bringing in cooler outside air and exhausting the hot air that does get trapped under the tupperware, and while I still intend on hooking everything up & seeing how well it works, I'm thinking we won't really be using it until the warmer weather makes a return possibly next year, cause then, a warmer seat isn't as desirable as say my early morning ryde into work this morning, when it was around 48F degrees. That warmer seat sure felt kinda good

But the system will have a power on/off button installed, that way when its needed, like when it extreme heat conditions or stop & go traffic, one or the other or both can be turned on as needed to help manage the air flow and hopefully keep everything nice and cool when that is desired

:dontknow:Just curious what unintended consequences this is going to lead to :dontknow: ..... :roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

Live'n & Learn'n

CyncySpyder · Sep 23, 2013

Inbetween all the running around this past week, we actually got a few things done

Like the sequential LED turn signals are now complete. I had forgot that when I started the project & did the left one succesfully, I originally just put a dab of silicone on the LED to hold it in place. Then I promptly forgot about that when I broke the right side mirror while trying to take pics/vids and when Mark sent us his right side, I finished that side & put everything back together thinking we were done ....... :lecturef_smilie: While out ryding the other day, I had forgot about just using the little dab of silicone, and upon ryding over some railroad tracks, the next time I put the left turn signal on, it was pointing straight down .... sequentially of course ....

.... DOH!!! :roflblack:

Took it back apart and used the 3M tape all around the mirror housing, leaving just enough space for the LED body to fit snugly in, without any chance of it moving again, and buttoned it back up once again :thumbup: The pain & frustration was well worth it :firstplace: definitely one of my All Time Favorite Mods :clap:

Teddy also helped supervise me installing the SpyderPops Possum Pusher (Bump Skid) that had been sitting on the shelf of 'Mods to be done' for the better part of the past year. I thought it buggy how it wouldn't line up correctly at first, but I finally figured it out & I think it turned out well & as it is designed to be. Also had its first test just a couple of days after install by running over some rather large road-kill and besides smearing a little guts around on the bottom of the skid, all else looked well. Wow, if you haven't seen your RT skid plate up close, compared to SpyderPops, the OEM wouldn't even be considered a toy. Just a cheap flimsy bit of plastic, to as where the SpyderPops Bump Skid is made to take an impact, & keep you safe and going on down the road :clap:

So I'm happy we got those mods installed and done, and I also reserected Teddy's original Sun-Canopy and modded the heck out of it and now, even tho its still got a crack in it, its stronger than ever :thumbup:

NancysToy · Sep 23, 2013

The inability to remove the gas cap should have nothing to do with the boiling gas...although coincidentally the extra heat could also soften the O-ring and stick it to the tank, I suppose. Anyway, a few of these caps have had the same problem. Some were cured by lightly lubricating the O-ring (a Q-tip works well for this) and some needed to have the cap replaced. See your dealer, this one should be free.

CyncySpyder · Sep 24, 2013

Cautious Optimism

Here I go with the Conflicted Emotions again :banghead:

My buddy sent me a text yesterday to call him, so as soon as I seen it, I did. Well, yesterday was his first appointment for Occupational Therapy & his mom drove him to the appointment while I was here working. I really wanted to go, but I think my buddy preferred that I didn't. After the initial assesment, the Therapist claimed there was nothing she could do for him and that he wouldn't need Therapy :shocked: Funny how when I watched the therapist do their assesment while he was in the hospital, and they claimed he definitely would benifit from Occupational Therapy but this one claims the opposite :dontknow:

I know my buddy is rare'n to get his life back to some sort of normalcy, but I'm really concerned and voiced that on our call yesterday, which of course, put my buddy on the defensive. Fact is, each day that goes by, he does seem to be doing a little better, less slurring of his speach, face doesn't seem so droopy and his coordination appears to be better ...................... but, all that seems to go out the window as the time of the day wears on him, and later in the day, into the evening, all those signs seem to be more prevalent than they were from earlier in the day. I asked if he relayed that information to the Therapist and I think he avoided answering or just said, "The Therapist did their assesment and said there's nothing they could do for me, so I'm going to be released." Which is exactly what he wants, but I'm just concerned that its not whats in his best interest.

He's a MillWright here at work, which puts him in many dangerous situations countless times throughout his work day, and he's also on AWS (Alternative Work Schedule) working three 12 hour shifts one week then four 12 hour shifts the next. That coupled with living 45 minutes away from work, and that puts his normal working day at close to 14-15 hours with getting ready and drive time, and that really concerns me.

I asked him where he goes from here, cause the hospital told him he couldn't drive or return to work until he was released from Occupational Therapy, which seemed that happened yesterday. He said he'd have to call and get another appointment with his new Family Doctor and get him to get the release from the OT & have him fill out the required paper work for him to return to work. So, it looks like he'll be returning within the next few days. I'm just praying that they don't totally release him without any restrictions, and that maybe they put him on light duty for a couple of weeks and only an 8 hour shift, but knowing Doug, he'll want to return without any restrictions.

This is the hard part, being a friend and being happy for his recovery, but also being a concerned friend that he doesn't try to push too hard too fast and end up hurting himself even further. If I push him too hard, I risk pushing him away and him not being open with me. Thats happened before, durring his divorce, and I said the wrong thing when he opened up to me, and then he felt he couldn't trust me and it took a long time to build that trust back. Its a fine line to tread, that's for sure.

kyace2003 · Sep 24, 2013

Dave,

My father in-law had a major stroke back in 2001. Although you had indicated that your friend had a minor stroke your concerns are very valid. My FIL would be fine in the morning however by mid afternoon he would become very tired and eventually disoriented. Try to direct your friend into working back up to the full schedule of 12 hours, especially since he is working with machinery that could be dangerous to himself and others. This isn't because he isn't capable, it is because you care and you and others will know best.

We have found that we have had to be my FIL advocate so please be your friends, the reward will be way more than the pain especially once he has recovered which is down the road.

Mark

CyncySpyder · Sep 24, 2013

Exactly why I'm worried

kyace2003 said:
Dave,
My father in-law had a major stroke back in 2001. Although you had indicated that your friend had a minor stroke your concerns are very valid. My FIL would be fine in the morning however by mid afternoon he would become very tired and eventually disoriented. Try to direct your friend into working back up to the full schedule of 12 hours, especially since he is working with machinery that could be dangerous to himself and others. This isn't because he isn't capable, it is because you care and you and others will know best.
We have found that we have had to be my FIL advocate so please be your friends, the reward will be way more than the pain especially once he has recovered which is down the road. Mark

I know worry is a waste & rarely does anything good come of it, but your experience with your FIL is exactly the same we are seeing with my buddy, tho he's never gotten to the point of being disoriented, just so tired that he doses off for a nap. I'm just not sure how to make him aware of just how dangerous a situation he could potentially put himself into.

I know about trying to do what needs to be done when your really tired, from personal experience back in 2004, I fell asleep at the wheel of my Mustang GT Convertible with the cruise set at 60MPH & ran off the road & totalled the car. I know I had an angel watching over me that night cause somehow, neither my passenger nor I had a scratch on us

ray:

I haven't discussed his release & return to work & driving with him since yesterday, and when I texted him last night, he was just very short & to the point with me, so I can tell he's now on the deffensive with me, and I'm pensive on how to proceed.

One of his buddies here at work stopped by to talk with me a little while ago about this very situation. Said Doug had called him last night with the good news that the Occupational Therapist said he was fine & there was nothing she could do to help, so he's hoping he should be returning to work soon. His buddy had the same concerns as I, especially after I explained how Doug seems to be just fine when its early in the day & he's fresh, but that there seems to be a noticeable change as the day drags on, & that really concerned his co-worker that does the same job. He even asked if I thought about talking with our Plant Medical Department about his return, but that's not something you do here, unless there is no other choice. And if I did, I know it would really damage our relationship, as he'd view it as a betrayal, at least in the short term.

I keep reminding him of his 10yo daughter & that he shouldn't do anything that might put her in harms way, which he readily agrees, but I don't think he sees the connection of how trying to start driving & working again could harm her, if she's not with him at the time. And I keep trying to remind him, if something were to happen to him, then his daughter would be raised by his ex-wife :shocked: & that usually makes him pause for a minute. But I also know his drive to return to 'normal' and am not sure if he realizes the danger of doing too much too soon can cause him.

Guess I'll just have to stand by & watch how things proceed, and if they go a way I don't think is truly in his best interest, maybe try to enlist his mom & his daughter to talk with him, cause I know if its just me alone, he'd think I was just being too cautious & wanting to hold him back.

CyncySpyder · Sep 25, 2013

Sometimes, you just gotta let go ...................

Well, I went & did it. I guess I can only write from my perspective, cause I'm me and the one typing this, but this isn't about me....... Its about my buddies well being and I try my best to put myself in his place and to empathize with what he's going thru ....... but what is done, is done & he's coming in to work today to meet with our Plant Doctor for his physical to return to work tomorrow, full shift no restrictions :shocked: To say I'm concerned ..... well, I am ............ I really am.

I talked with his mom who went with him to the OT who released him, and got her input and she agrees, its too soon ........ he's just not ready yet. But as she stated, he's a grown man of 47 years and he's going to do what he wants to do ......... and she's right. We discussed him admitting to her that he's having some memory loss and issues, but he still claims that He's fine, and ready to get back to work.......

I stopped by his house after Teddy and I spent most of the day out ryding in the country ...... cause we sorely needed some Spyder Therapy & it did good to remind us why we ryde. We also tested out some newly completed mods, cause I've been learning just what a wonderfully useful tool a die-grinder is and made some home-made mounting brackets for a couple of Ram-Balls on the passenger arm-rests that Teddy had donated to him last year and we now have a four pole mounting system for his newly resurected Sun-Canopy which I like this mounting method much better than our previous 3 pole system and it seems to shake & vibrate much less, providing a better more stable picture from the Teddy-Cam :thumbup:

But we stopped by after letting Teddy pay a visit out at the IdleWild Dog Park which is really close to where my buddy lives. As soon as we parked, I could here Teddy's name being shouted by other park goers that hadn't seen us in some time. Was good to reconnect for a few. But as darkness overtook the daylight, we said our farewells & I headed to Dougs house. I texted him earlier in the day & knew he was taking his daughter to Karate Practice & wouldn't be home til after 7:45pm so we got there right around 8pm.

I broached the subject with his daughter if she knew what to do in the case of an emergency, if her parents had taught & discussed the subject with her, & I was shocked when she told me they hadn't, especially since her mom is a nurse & her dad had recently experienced a stroke, I thought for sure this would've been something they had discussed with her, but they hadn't.

Now I know I'm divorced & don't have any kids of my own, tho Madison (Dougs Daughter) is about as close as you can get, and that I have no right to tell anyone how to raise their children, but this upset me to know, if something were to happen to Doug, Madison wouldn't know what to do. So, with Doug sitting right there, all of us watching tv & talking, I began discussing what she should do, like calling 911 & possibly going over to her neighbors house to get their help. One thing lead to another and the subject got to CPR & I knew Madison was a Girl-Scout & I thought for sure that they taught you CPR in the Scouts, but was a little shocked to find out that she said they've never even discussed it. Then I made the mistake of asking if they taught CPR at her school & that lead to Doug & I having a debate about if CPR should be taught in schools or not and he got rather ......... heated and loud with me about it, and I realized a little too late that I had pushed a button with him and he was now on the defensive with me, so I just stopped myself cause that wasn't the point.

I let it go, and when Teddy & I were about to leave, and Madison was upstairs taking her shower, I asked Doug if he was sure he was ready to return to work, a full schedule with no restrictions and he said "YES, and I have no concerns." My heart sank, cause even as we were talking about this, the obvious signs of his Stroke were now more prevelant than they were from earlier in the day. The left side of his face was a bit more droopy, his speach was a bit more slurred than earlier and I could tell he was be gingerly with the left side of his body. But he still felt he was fine to return to work.

I knew it would be fruitless, but I tried anyway, risking putting our friendship in jeapordy & him possibly just tuning me out, but I felt I just had to let him know that I was concerned & that if he thought he needed assistance in any way with any thing and at any time, he had my number and all he needed to do was call me & I'd drop everthing and be there as quick as possible for him. He heard the words .................... but I fear he had already tuned me out.

When I was married and my (then) wife was battling Bi-Polar disorder along with a crack addiction (yeah, believe me, there's more than one book to that story:shocked

and I was taking her to NA, there was a prayer they continually say that I learned that seems kinda fitting here.

God, grant me the serinity to accept the things I can not change,
The Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

I just hope he's going to be ok, and that I haven't really hurt our relationship.