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After advice from couples that ride separate bikes.

blacklightning

Well-known member
Hello! My wife got her 3 wheeled license this past November and we picked up her a F3T the same month. I was able to take her for a short ride through the neighborhood before Christmas, and she did fine. Step ahead to this past weekend. She was able to get out again for the first time and says that she will try to make a habit of riding more each week to help herself get used to it. After a few laps with me riding in the passenger seat, she did a couple with her driving solo and I followed her on my bike. Then we did a couple more with her following me.
My question is, if you are riding with your spouse on separate bikes, do you lead, or let her lead (if she has the least amount of experience)? I was told by a friend to follow in order to try to keep an eye on the unknown that comes up from behind (like tailgaters). But there is also so much to look out for when leading. What are your experiences and how do you handle it?
Thanks in advance for your information.
 

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Personally, I would lead the way and use my rearview mirrors frequently to keep an eye on her. I've encountered and avoided many more dangers in front of me than behind me. Just a word from experience, dangers from the rear are almost all unavoidable. Sorry to have to point that out but it's true. We just don't have eyes in the back of our heads so to speak.
 
When we travel, I follow my wife. This way she sets the speed and I don't feel like I'm pushing her to go faster than she's comfortable with.
 
Communications with head sets was a great plus for us. Most of the time I will lead --- at least for the beginning of the ride. More for navigation than any other reason. Most times when we are headed home she will take the lead for the last 10-20 miles. It breaks up the ride and gives her experience with a lead. She has found that when we are riding with others she likes to be the tail gunner.
 
Bob L, tailgunner has to drive a bit faster then the drivers in front, so pick up the speed, and enjoy the ryde....
 
After 10's of thousands of miles on bikes and now Spyders, it always worked out best for me to lead and her to follow. She goes her speed and I adjust speed as needed. I do spend a lot of time looking in the rear view mirror, though, but you get used to it.

She says it always helped to know how I would approach different things that come up as you ride. On two wheels, it was easier for her, but now on 3 maybe this aspect isn't that important any more.

Tom
 
My husband and I have each had own bikes for a many years and I have always followed behind his bike. Now that we are on Spyders, he has said he doesn't check his side mirrors nearly as often. We use Senas for bike-to-bike communication.

Ride Safe,
Gina J
 
My wife and I have had separate Spyders for the last 7 years and have done many long trips lasting months and we day ride often. I usually follow her until we get into towns and then she follows as I am better at navigating and making detours if needed. I feel more comfortable with her in the front because I spend too much time watching my mirrors when she is in the rear. We also do a number of group rides with our club and she will sweep and I will lead . We also have communicators and use them constantly.
 
We have been riding separate Spyders since 2012. She now has about 50,000 assorted Spyder miles.

She like me to be the leader, so I do. We communicate by head set (Currently Sena). We know each others habits and quirks very good by now. Most communication is done by one or two word commands. We leave most of the comm's for ride related information. Make sure to say "right," "left," or "center" when using short commands.

EG: debris, left, Moose right, debris center, etc. She knows if I make a sudden move to the right or left, to follow exactly. This has resulted in the avoidance of road hazards that I did not catch quickly enough to relay. The turn signals let her know about the turns.

We find that separate Spyders are very good for the two of us.
 
When my wife first started riding she wasn't comfortable riding the twisty roads. Had her follow me to see the lane position I took on the curves, by the end of the day she was doing great.

I usually lead, but when she gets bored following she has no problem jumping up front. We use our Senas to communicate, which is a big plus.
 
My wife prefers to follow. The one time I made her lead was on the Tail of the Dragon and I had a hard time keeping up !!!
 
My wife prefers that I lead. A bit frustrating at times as she tends to fall back out of sight and/or BT range at times before I realize what's happening.
 
Most of the time I lead and the wife follows but we do switch back and forth when she knows the area. We also use Senas to communicate.
 
My wife and I take turns on who is leading. It's about a 50/50 split. More times than not it's the flow of traffic and switching lanes that will cause us to change who is the lead. When we ride with a large group of course we would remain in position, but when it's just the two of us the tag-team approach works well for us. Personally, I don't mind following her as the tail position is a much more relaxing position in that you don't have to constantly check for your spouse in your mirrors.

Nothing worries me more than when she is behind me and out of sight. We haven't yet stepped into two-way communication beyond hand gestures.
 
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When my Girlfriend started riding her Spyder we started out with me following her to give her a comfort level of no close tailgaters. I was basically navigating and coaching her using our headsets which was very beneficial. We started out on country roads without a lot of traffic, I let her ride at a speed she felt comfortable with. She found this very helpful having me riding behind offering riding tips.

The one thing I thought of later (which I didn't do) was to record the ride then have her watch to assist with improving her riding.

She has been riding for 3 years and prefers me lead.
 
My wife and I take turns on who is leading. It's about a 50/50 split. More times than not it's the flow of traffic and switching lanes that will cause us to change who is the lead. When we ride with a large group of course we would remain in position, but when it's just the two of us the tag-team approach works well for us. Personally, I don't mind following her as the tail position is a much more relaxing position in that you don't have to constantly check for your spouse in your mirrors.

Nothing worries me more than when he is behind me and out of sight. We haven't yet stepped into two-way communication beyond hand gestures.

Oh man, you and your wife HAVE to invest in two-way communication. It's a game changer....unless of course, she likes to yap all day and then you're pretty much screwed, LOL.
 
Thanks everyone for the tips. Supposed to be 82 degrees today, so I will be taking her out once traffic slows down for some more practice. I think I will start out with her following me in order to learn the practice roads that we are going to do. But I do like the idea of following her in order to discourage tailgating.
Thanks again. I just found out that my buddies friend is expecting delivery of her 2022 F3S near the end of May, or early June. This will possibly be enough to keep my wife interested in riding.
 
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