Basically Slice, all your complaints other than tires are related to the fact your physical stature isn't accommodated by the Spyder design. That doesn't make them faults, or engineering defects, per se but rather incompatible features caused by the BRP engineers' design choices. When you mentioned all the other bikes you had that did have adjustments the question that came to mind is, "How many of those bikes deliberately take into account the needs of a 110 lb., 5' 2" rider? BRP did.
A friend of mine wasn't comfortable riding a Goldwing because of his 6' plus height. Every bike is designed for a certain segment of the population and you just don't fit into the one the Spyder is targeted at. I could be wrong, but judging from all the photos I see of people riding HDs, because of your size you fit the demographic HD designs for! I'm going to guess that BRP took the needs of women into consideration more seriously than does HD.
In short, what your review says is if you are a tall heavy set male you really need to consider closely whether the Spyder is the right machine for you.
You'll get a lot of agreement here about the quality of the Kenda tires. You can be sure BRP has good reason for using them, but user experience runs contrary to the reasons they have, which of course they will not disclose to us.