Other than Reverse?
I find myself going 35,36, 37 mph a lot the last couple of days- and using 3rd sometimes, 4th others.
What gear do you use?
At those speeds, cruising in a 35MPH Speed Zone, I would be in 3rd. Not 4th.
If it turned to a 45MPH Zone, I would shift into 4th as I hit 45MPH. If there was traffic, I might stay in 3rd and have that peppy get up and go if I needed it.
The same might apply to the first case in the 35MPH Zone, I might stay in 2nd up to 35MPH if I felt I might need to accelerate fast.
Something you should try is seeing where your SE5 downshifts. Sorry I cannot remember the exact RPMs now, but when it is safe and you can pay attention to it, get up to 35 or so in 3rd gear, then slowly let up on the throttle. As you slow down and the RPMs drop, the Spyder will automatically downshift when the gear you are in is no longer 'appropriate' to avoid engine/transmission issues. Remember the MPH, RPMs, the feeling and sound of the engine where that happened. Try that a couple of times to get a good feel for that "point".
If you are riding in a gear very close to the point where the Spyder will automatically downshift - you are going too slow for that gear. ( my opinion ). The same would apply if you accelerate in a gear to where the Spyder would upshift automatically to the next gear (I hear that is close to the redline) to protect the engine/transmission - you are going too fast for that gear.
In general, my (desired) style of driving has me cruising around at 4K RPMs with an upshift at 4.5 or 5 K RPMs. On my SE5, shifting there is always smooth and more quick acceleration is there if needed. If I am cruising around OVER 4.5K RPM, I think I get lower MPG and I tend to be "speeding".
That happens way too often.
Of course, if you are doing a fast acceleration to get on the expressway, you may want the RPMs to go up to 7K or more, but that also means if you let up on the throttle, you will quickly decelerate. So much depends on the situation and what you are comfortable with.
I hope that helped.
Tom