• There were many reasons for the change of the site software, the biggest was security. The age of the old software also meant no server updates for certain programs. There are many benefits to the new software, one of the biggest is the mobile functionality. Ill fix up some stuff in the coming days, we'll also try to get some of the old addons back or the data imported back into the site like the garage. To create a thread or to reply with a post is basically the same as it was in the prior software. The default style of the site is light colored, but i temporarily added a darker colored style, to change you can find a link at the bottom of the site.

Two, hopefully, new ones

JerryB

New member
Hi out there in SpyderLand,

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 AM by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in thepouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it’s 3:00 AM in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it's 3 AM in the morning and it's pouring rain outthere!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't youremember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helpedus? I think you should help him, and youshould be ashamed of yourself!”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing," replies the drunk.


*************************************

Awell-dressed eighty-year-old lawyer arrives at a brothel in Nevada.

The madam asks if he has apreference, and he says he wants to spend time with Violet. The madam says thatmaybe he should reconsider, because Violet commands $1,000 per visit, but thelittle old guy insists, pays the money, and spends an hour with Violet.

Next night, same thing: Little old guy arrives, wants a session with Violet,and pays a thousand dollars.

Third night, again he shows up, and only Violet will do.


He pays a thousand dollars andspends his time with her.

After three sessions, she feelsshe should find out a little more about him, and asks where he is from.

He says he is from Cleveland.

"Oh", she says. "I have a sister in Cleveland".

"Yes", he replies. "She passed away, and I'm the executor of herestate. She left you three thousand dollars".

:yikes:

Jerry Baumchen

 
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