Bacon Tree

[tconaagt]

Bacon Tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon .. every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees



Ees a ham bush...."


SO SORRY I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it!

The little voices made me do it !!!

And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you - I know you did!

 

[wyliec]

:2thumbs::clap::thumbup::roflblack:

 

[Bob Denman]

Here's another take on this one... But both are GREAT!

Back in the cowboy days, a westbound wagon train was lost and low on food.

No other people had been seen for days. Unexpectedly, they saw an old
Jewish man sitting beneath a tree. The leader rushed up to him and said,
"We're lost. Is there someplace ahead where we can get food?"
"Vell," the old Jewish man said, "I vould definitely NOT go up dat hill
und down other side. Somevun told me you'll run into a big bacon tree."
"A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader..
"Yah, yah ah bacon tree. Trust me. For nutting vud I lie."
The leader goes back and tells his people that, if nothing else, they
might be able to find food on the other side of the next ridge.
"So why did he say not to go there?" some pioneers asked.
"Oh, you know the Jewish folks - they don't eat bacon."
So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side.
Suddenly, Indians attack and massacre every one except the leader. He
manages to escape back to where the old Jewish man is sitting and enjoying
his drink.
The near-dead man starts shouting, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths!
We followed your instructions, but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds
of Indians. They killed everyone but me."
The Jewish man holds up his hand and says, "oy, vait a minute, vait a
minute." He gets out an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing
through it.
"Gevalt, I made myself ah big mistake. It vuz not a bacon tree.
It vuz a ham bush!

 

[Sonrisa]

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack: Yes I did try to talk like them!

 

[wyliec]

Bob,

I'm going to have to give you a big thumbs down on that one.

 

[Bob Denman]

Sorry... I just relay what I get... pps:
But I DID get it from one of my hunting buddies whose family practices their Jewish Faith... religiously! nojoke

 

[ARtraveler]

:roflblack::roflblack::roflblack:

 

[Arr MiHardies]

The first joke is not believable. In all likelihood, a pair of Mexicans fresh over the border are not likely to be speaking to each other in heavily accented English. They are far more likely to be speaking to each other in Spanish, which does not make the joke feasible. Racism aside, I did find them, humorous.