off color golf joke

[cuznjohn]

A man lost an arm when his golf cart rolled over on him on a down slope. He became very depressed because he loved to play golf.

One day in his despair, he decided to commit suicide and end it all.

He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man down on the sidewalk skipping along, whooping and kicking up his heels.

He looked closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all.

He started thinking, "What am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself? I still have one good arm to do things with."

He thought, "There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk so happy, and going on with his life."

He hurried down to the sidewalk and caught up with the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he lost one of his arms and felt useless and was going to kill himself.

He thanked him for saving his life and said he knew he could make it with one arm if the guy could go on with no arms.

The man with no arms began dancing and whooping and kicking up his heels again.

The man with but one arm asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"

He said, "I'm NOT happy. My balls itch."

Heart-warming stories like this just brings a tear to my eye....

[ARtraveler]

[Chupaca]

here's a variation...
Man goes to the doctor for some swallowing problems and find he has to have his esophagus removed..But doctor how will I eat..?? Well, says the doctor, through the other end. So the deed is done and he learns to eat mush and work his way up to like french fries.
One day the doctor sees him walking down the street jyrrating and wiggling like a extreemly gay guy. He greets him and asks when he became gay and was it the result of the surgery..? no doc I'm just chewing gum...

[Bob Denman]

Nope; it didn't ruin THIS appetite!!