Government Job

[Cavman]

A guy goes into the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer
asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward
employment."

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my
testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Disabled in your country's
service! Well, that qualifies for extra bonus points. Okay. Looking at
the regulations you have got enough points for me to hire you right now.
Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at
10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00
PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says.

"For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and
scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

[Bob Denman]

But there's probably a bit too much truth in the story.

[sddinnh]

Ya Think.

[Chupaca]

sad but......

[bcoulter19]

I'm a gov't employee and I resemble that joke.

[Dan_Ashley]

Jokes about government workers are fun. I retired from government service. But I "grew up" in private industry. Government work was much more difficult, and I normally had to work 60 hours a week to get my job done. My wife worked for the government too-- she normally pu in 65 hour work weeks--very difficult. But, hey, we did enjoy our 3 week vacations and our 11 paid holidays!

Not all all government workers have to work that hard, and there are both go getters and lazy bums in both government work and in private industry.

that being said, did you hear the one about the man who walked into the DMV....and ask what the do all day? After receiving no answer he did his own observational study:


Top ten things DMV employees are doing while you wait in line:


1 "Processing" licence renewal forms through the paper shredder


2 Substituting city morgue stock photos for driver I.D. snapshots


3 Going out to lunch off the extra money they took from the last guy


4 Using the D.M.V. computers to switch your optometrist appointment to a proctologist


5 Mailing you a 32 cent postage stamp instead of the $32 licence plate sticker you paid for


6 Watching you on surveilence cameras; placing bets on how long you'll wait before leaving


7 Marking every fourth answer on your written driver's test wrong


8 Changing the registration info on your car to make it the official D.M.V. test vehicle


9 Threatening to call the I.R.S. whenever somebody wakes them up


10 Each other

[Bob Denman]

I'm a gov't employee and I resemble that joke.

I HOPE that you don't resemble the coffee allergy, and "wound in a sensiive spot" part!

[Dan_Ashley]

I HOPE that you don't resemble the coffee allergy, and "wound in a sensiive spot" part!

I am allergic to de-cafe coffee.

[Bob Denman]

My wife worked for the VA for 33 years.
She was a staff nurse, head nurse, operating room supervisor and finally in charge of the electronic medical record as Nursing Informatics Coordinator.
She slept in her office when they brought on new software packages because if there was a problem on the off shifts she wanted to be there to fix it.
In all that time she was at work at least an hour early and stayed well past 6 on most days.
That’s 33 years of at least 11 hour days.
She was paid for 8.
You can make all sorts of jokes and I realize that it is a popular belief that a Government Job is staffed by a bunch of louts who don’t care, but the people I knew at he hospital were the hardest working bunch of people I have ever seen.

There are hard-working people everywhere...
And then; there are also those, who live the stereotype...

There never any insult intended for Glo!

[Dan_Ashley]

There are hard-working people everywhere...
And then; there are also those, who live the stereotype...

There never any insult intended for Glo!

i want to be the the stereo type. Well, at my age, a 45 record player would work.

[JerryB]

Hi cavman,

I'm retired from the feds with 34 yrs of service; 4 military & 30 civilian.

There is a lot of truth there.

Thankfully, those are in the minority.

No matter how you slice it, that is a good joke.

Jerry Baumchen

PS) As I always say: Retirement is the best job I have ever had.

[Bob Denman]

As I always say: Retirement is the best job I have ever had.

But... How do you know when you're done?

[sddinnh]

That's the great thing about it. You're never done and you can never be fired for goofing off

[Bob Denman]

I see now...
Why put off for tomorrow; what you can put off until next week?

[sddinnh]

I had a neighbor who used to say "Never finish anything, because then you won't have anything to do tomorrow."