An 80 year old man is having a drink in a Marion bar. Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her. After a short while the girl notices him staring, and approaches him. Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone: "I'll do anything you'd like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams, it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100, but there is one condition". Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what the condition is. "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He then whips out his wallet and puts 5 $20 bills in her outstretched hand. He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:
"Paint my house."
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One Sunday morning, the Pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church starting up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small U.S.A. flags mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year-old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the Pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said good morning Alex.
Good morning Pastor, he replied, still focused on the plaque, and then asking the Pastor, what is this?
The Pastor said, well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who have died in the service.
Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the plaque.
Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked. Which service, the 9:00 or 11:00?
Is it Friday yet? ... Oh yeah, I forgot. I'm retired
Past bikes
2010 RS - Sold
2012 RT - Sold
2014 RT - Testing completed
2016 F3-T Audio package - Sold
Doh!! It means pull over, it's time to have a cuppa tea, silly!!
Oh, and while you're there, put some oil in your engine.
You know, when I first read the poster in that image, I sprayed my tablet with really hot tea spurting outta my nose!! That hurt (& took some clean-up!) but I hadta laugh..... You should put warning labels on your joke posts!!
Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:
Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behavior and life-style once their vows are exchanged?
Finally, the riddle is solved.
A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle,
she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain absorbs these three stimuli:
Aisle, altar, and hymn.
She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these
perceptions:
Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn.
And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is complete. She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself:
'I'll alter him!’
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids,when he came into the house and asked,
'Grandpa, what's that called whentwo people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?'
His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth.
'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse’
Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandpa, it isn't called sexual intercourse.It's called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s
mom wants to talk to you.
Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:
Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin the quest to change their behavior and life-style once their vows are exchanged?
Finally, the riddle is solved.
A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the long aisle,
she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a hymn. Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain absorbs these three stimuli:
Aisle, altar, and hymn.
She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these
perceptions:
Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn……Aisle, altar, hymn.
And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is complete. She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself:
'I'll alter him!’
Aaaaaahhhhh...... So it really is nothing to do with the cake!
Originally Posted by Saluda
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You should put warning labels on your joke posts!! 
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
