The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back.” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”
Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I am 60!” Doctor: “See! What did I tell you?”
Patient: “I have a ringing in my ears.” Doctor: “Don’t answer!”
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.”
The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is because Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.
There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.
Q: Why don’t Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
A man called his mother in Florida , “Mom, how are you?” “Not too good,” said the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son said, “Why are you so weak?” She said, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 days.” The son said, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?” The mother answered, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call.”
A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play. She asks, “What part is it?” The boy says, “I play the part of the Jewish husband.” “The mother scowls and says, “Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part.”
Question: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: (Sigh) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”
Short summary of every Jewish holiday — They tried to kill us. We survived. Let’s eat.
Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself,” she replied.
Q: What’s the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
IMG_9161.jpg came across this tonight while out Christmas shopping.
Also would like to remember the reason for the season IMG_9131.jpg wishing everyone a Merry Christmas & safe everything: travels, families, food, coco& hot chocolate, etc etc
2013 STL SE5 BLACK CURRANT
SpyderPop's: LED bumpskid
SmoothSpyder: dualmode back rest
T r * * LED:foam grip covers, Tricrings, FenderZ,
brake light strips, wide vue mirrors
Rivico SOMA modulation brake leds
sawblade mowhalk fender accents
minispyder dash toy
Lid lox
KradelLock
Pakitrack
GENSSI ELITE LED H4 headlights
FLO (Frunk Lid Organizer)
BRP fog lights, trailer hitch
SENA 20S EVO
...would like to remember the reason for the season IMG_9131.jpg wishing everyone a Merry Christmas & safe everything: travels, families, food, coco& hot chocolate, etc etc
I think the first picture, which is sideways, is depicting a homeless person laying down; something like a homeless person crossing. I'm not sure b/c it's not a very clear picture, and being sideways doesn't help either. The 2nd picture is self explanatory.
I think the first picture, which is sideways, is depicting a homeless person laying down; something like a homeless person crossing. I'm not sure b/c it's not a very clear picture, and being sideways doesn't help either. The 2nd picture is self explanatory.
I don't think either one is a joke. The 2nd picture is meant to show you the true meaning of Christmas, and it isn't Santa. I think you've mentioned before your stance on religion; so, I'll leave you at this point.
I don't think either one is a joke. The 2nd picture is meant to show you the true meaning of Christmas, and it isn't Santa. I think you've mentioned before your stance on religion; so, I'll leave you at this point.
I did not think of the second picture as a joke, so I didn't get why it is in the joke thread...
Well, I did not think of the second picture as a joke, so I didn't get why it is in the joke thread...
Cos the bit of that sentence that you left out of your quote, ie, the 'Also' bit at the beginning, was (I believe, anyway) intended to make it clear to most readers that what followed WASN'T MEANT to be a joke but intended to remind us that no matter how funny or not you might find any of the preceding 'Christmas joke' stuff in that post or any other might or might not be, there is an underlying reason for why we actually celebrate Christmas in the first place!! You don't hafta believe it, you don't even hafta celebrate it, but it's STILL the underlying reason that your country & mine celebrate the event.
And getting back to Christmas jokes....
here’s a Christmas Challenge for you all!
Can you name all 10 of Santa’s Reindeer?
Most people remember the easy names; there's Dasher & Dancer, Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid, & Donner and Blitzen (that’s 8)
Then there's Rudolph (9), but most get stuck on number 10. Do you know its name??
C'mon, it's Olive!!
You know, Olive the Reindeer.
Don’t you remember Olive? Of course you do, just sing the song:
"..…Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any Reindeer games.”
See, 10 Reindeer names!
Last edited by Peter Aawen; 12-21-2018 at 09:53 PM.
Cos the bit of that sentence that you left out of your quote, ie, the 'Also' bit at the beginning, was (I believe, anyway) intended to make it clear to most readers that what followed WASN'T MEANT to be a joke but intended to remind us that no matter how funny or not you might find any of the preceding 'Christmas joke' stuff in that post or any other might or might not be, there is an underlying reason for why we actually celebrate Christmas in the first place!! You don't hafta believe it, you don't even hafta celebrate it, but it's STILL the underlying reason that your country & mine celebrate the event.
And getting back to Christmas jokes....
here’s a Christmas Challenge for you all!
Can you name all 10 of Santa’s Reindeer?
Most people remember the easy names; there's Dasher & Dancer, Prancer & Vixen, Comet & Cupid, & Donner and Blitzen (that’s 8)
Then there's Rudolph (9), but most get stuck on number 10. Do you know its name??
C'mon, it's Olive!!
You know, Olive the Reindeer.
Don’t you remember Olive? Of course you do, just sing the song:
"..…Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names, they never let poor Rudolph join in any Reindeer games.”
See, 10 Reindeer names!
thank you for the assist & the reindeer list sorry about the sideways pic , FYI it was actually a pedestrian crosswalk sign that the top came loose so the crosswalk figure looks like the slip & fall sign for the ENTIRE crossing not just a little fold out slip & fall sign.
2013 STL SE5 BLACK CURRANT
SpyderPop's: LED bumpskid
SmoothSpyder: dualmode back rest
T r * * LED:foam grip covers, Tricrings, FenderZ,
brake light strips, wide vue mirrors
Rivico SOMA modulation brake leds
sawblade mowhalk fender accents
minispyder dash toy
Lid lox
KradelLock
Pakitrack
GENSSI ELITE LED H4 headlights
FLO (Frunk Lid Organizer)
BRP fog lights, trailer hitch
SENA 20S EVO
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob 's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of hisoveralls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.
Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the world're ya doing, Billy Bob ?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob ..
"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."
(Don't make me splain this to you! Read the last line again, slowly...)
2015 RTL, BajaRon Swaybar, LaMonster LED Headlights and Foglights, LaMonster Spydercuff, LaMonster LED mirror wrap, Magic Mirrors, HMT Brake Light
OK, it's a joke; so don't get your panties in a wad.
A nun is doing a crossword puzzle on a long airline flight when she asked the passenger next to her if she knows of a four letter word ending in “unt” that describes a certain type of female.
The passenger thinks for a couple of seconds and then says “Of course, the word would be “Aunt”.
The nun then says, “Ratz, can I borrow your eraser”.
Jerry Baumchen
'I'll never forget what's her name.'
'Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before.' Dwight Eisenhower