Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[granpa in Cincy]

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-da...-week/2022/2/2

WEDNESDAY

[Zip]

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-da...-week/2022/2/2

WEDNESDAY

It's 2-22-2022 Tuesday

http://time-and-calendar.com/what-da...week/2022/2/22

[granpa in Cincy]

The day of the week for 2/2/2022 will a Wednesday

[JerryB]

Hi granpa in Cincy,

Re: The day of the week for 2/2/2022 will a Wednesday

I Googled and found a Tuesday: https://www.timeanddate.com/calendar...2022&country=1

Jerry Baumchen

[Bob Denman]

Perhaps I should just edit that post, and remove any reference to 2/22/2022...

[Zip]

Perhaps I should just edit that post, and remove any reference to 2/22/2022...

Maybe since people don't understand

[Bob Denman]

done...

[Peter Aawen]

done...

But now no-one can see if you actually meant February the Second in the year Twenty Twenty Two, or February the Twenty Second in the year Twenty Twenty Two?!!

So it just makes all those other posts about 2/22/22 vs 2/2/22 & vice versa even more confusing!!


So Bob, I vote that you re-edit IN what you edited OUT so that it's all back how it was & is less confusing than it is.... or was that is??

Naah, gotta be is as it was! All that make sense? Good!

[Bob Denman]

"Ya know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In St Andrews there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing laddies", said the Irishman. "Back home in me own Killarney, there's Ryan's Bar. Now, the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks they'll take
you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!"

The Englishman & Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman, "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not to me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman. "but it did happen to me sister."

[vided]

IMG_2532.JPG

[Bob Denman]

Okay, we all know about cute little computer symbols called
"emoticons". Fortunately, someone has come up with a different set of
these little symbols for adults that, for lack of a better term, are
called "butticons". So, without further ado, here's the latest
butticon collection:

1. (_!_) = a regular ass.
2. (__!__) = a fat ass.
3. (!) = a tight ass.
4. (_*_) = a sore ass.
5. {_!_} = a swishy ass.
6. (_o_) = an ass that's been around.
7. (_x_) = kiss my ass!
8. (_X_) = leave my ass alone!
9. (_zzz_) = a tired ass.
10. (_E=mc2_) = a smart ass.
11. (_$_) = money coming out of his, or her, ass.
12. (_?_) = dumb ass.

[mowin]

Okay, we all know about cute little computer symbols called
"emoticons". Fortunately, someone has come up with a different set of
these little symbols for adults that, for lack of a better term, are
called "butticons". So, without further ado, here's the latest
butticon collection:

1. (_!_) = a regular ass.
2. (__!__) = a fat ass.
3. (!) = a tight ass.
4. (_*_) = a sore ass.
5. {_!_} = a swishy ass.
6. (_o_) = an ass that's been around.
7. (_x_) = kiss my ass!
8. (_X_) = leave my ass alone!
9. (_zzz_) = a tired ass.
10. (_E=mc2_) = a smart ass.
11. (_$_) = money coming out of his, or her, ass.
12. (_?_) = dumb ass.

I'll have to show this to my wife. Now she only has to call me #12...

[Bob Denman]

I get a whole lot of 7,10, and 12 thrown at me on a daily basis...

[classicvw]

I get a whole lot of 7,10, and 12 thrown at me on a daily basis...

A lot of times when I'm driving people wave a finger at me telling me I'm #1 !

[Bob Denman]

That's because you're Number One in their hearts!!

What was it, that our Learned Scholar Friend had to say about "Number One"?

[vided]

IMG_2533.JPG

[Bob Denman]

That's exactly the trouble with doing nothing : How do you know when you're finished?

[ofdave]

A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the
car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her,
"There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him
I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

[vided]

IMG_2312.JPG

[Bob Denman]

This one is from Cuzn...


The judge says to a double-homicide defendant..."You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You b*****d!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten b*****d!"
The judge stops and says to George in the back of the courtroom.
"Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt.
Is that understood?"
George stands up and says, "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that a**hole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.

[classicvw]

[vided]

Golf Balls ​Here is a little known fact about golf balls...

According to Golf World magazine, the average golfer loses two golf balls per round for a worldwide total of approximately 2,465,752
every day. Worried about running out? Don't be. Companies like Titleist are working hard to ensure that never happens. Titleist makes 1.2 million golf balls each day.

And one more thought to ponder on...

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls. A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.

That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud. You're like.... a hybrid!​

[Bob Denman]

But what if you rent a golfcart?

[Bob Denman]

INITIAL EMAIL MESSAGE:

Hi Fred. This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make.. I've
been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to
get up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now
telling you by email as I can't live with myself a moment longer
without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day
and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you. I
haven't been getting it at home recently, but that is no excuse, I
know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the
guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive
me. It won't happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll
pay you. Regards, Alan

THE RESPONSE:
Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun and shot his
neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink
and sat down on the sofa. He sat down at his computer, where he saw
he has a second message from his neighbor.

THE SECOND MESSAGE:
Hi Fred. This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my
last email. I expect you figured it out anyway and that you noticed
that darned Auto-Correct changed "wi-fi" to "wife." Technology, hey?
Regards, Alan

[Bob Denman]

Our favorite CuznJohn sends me the bestest videos!