Missing---Joke Forum, so I'll just start a thread.

[ThreeWheels]

Speaking of Threads.................... This is old, yet still relevant. And yes, you can find many of MY posts that fit right in.

HOW MANY GROUP POSTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

[BLUE MULE]

light%20bulbs.jpg

6-to show a picture of their old lightbulb and a picture of their new "moded" lightbulb!

[Bob Denman]

I think that you might have forgotten about the 18 folks with horror stories about how a light bulb changing went horribly wrong and they ended up in an ambulance...

[freebob]

I think that you might have forgotten about the 18 folks with horror stories about how a light bulb changing went horribly wrong and they ended up in an ambulance...

...

The one who ended up in ambulance, Took his spyder to Dealer for Lite Bulb change...

Paid 11.00 Special Imported Chinese bulb.
89.00 Labor with 10% Discount
100.00 Total Charge
Then suffered a fainting spell...
EMC Charges unknown...


Freebob......

[retread]

How many MICE does it take to screw in a light bulb?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Just 2, but I don't know how they get in there.

john

[ThreeFeet]

Too funny!!!!!

[spydaman60]

...

The one who ended up in ambulance, Took his spyder to Dealer for Lite Bulb change...

Paid 11.00 Special Imported Chinese bulb.
89.00 Labor with 10% Discount
100.00 Total Charge
Then suffered a fainting spell...
EMC Charges unknown...


Freebob......

i think the word you were looking for was priceless!

[Bob Denman]

Well this one may not be funny... But there's a lot of truth contained in it!

[wyliec]

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

This one is so true.

[StriperKing]

Almost didn`t read this one. Glad I did, how true. Best laugh I had all day. Liked the mouse one to.

[Bob Denman]

( Seen in Meredith, N.H. this weekend...)

"If you want Breakfast in bed I suggest that you go sleep in the kitchen!"

[warp10]

*Her Diary:*
Tonight, I thought
my husband was acting weird. We had
made plans to meet at a nice restaurant
for dinner. I was
shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk. He agreed,
but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong;
he
said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He
said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do
with me, and not to worry
about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled
slightly,
and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't
know why
he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost
him completely, as
if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just
sat
there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem
distant and
absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I
decided to go to bed. About 15
minutes later, he came to
bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and
his thoughts
were somewhere else. He fell asleep -- I cried.
I don't know
what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts
are with someone else. My life
is a disaster.


*His Diary:*
Bike wouldn't start; can't figure out
why.

[SpyderRyder2B]

hubby says that is true.

[Bob S]

*Her Diary:*
Tonight, I thought
my husband was acting weird. We had
made plans to meet at a nice restaurant
for dinner. I was
shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was
upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no
comment on it.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk. He agreed,
but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong;
he
said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was
upset. He
said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do
with me, and not to worry
about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled
slightly,
and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't
know why
he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost
him completely, as
if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just
sat
there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem
distant and
absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I
decided to go to bed. About 15
minutes later, he came to
bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and
his thoughts
were somewhere else. He fell asleep -- I cried.
I don't know
what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts
are with someone else. My life
is a disaster.


*His Diary:*
Bike wouldn't start; can't figure out
why.

The way I hear it:

He: Four put!, Who the F.... Four puts?

[Blue Star]

Speaking of Threads.................... This is old, yet still relevant. And yes, you can find many of MY posts that fit right in.

HOW MANY GROUP POSTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

Too funny, as I work for GE lighting (really, I do) and could not stop laughing on this posting

[Trickie Dick]

Three

women die together in an

accident

And go to

heaven.

When

they get there, St. Peter says,

'We only

have one rule here
in heaven:

Don't step
on the
ducks!'

So they enter heaven,

and sure enough,

There are
ducks all over the
place.

It is
almost impossible not
to step on a
duck,

And
although they try their
best to avoid
them,

The first
woman accidentally
steps on one.

Along comes St.. Peter with the ugliest
man she ever saw.

St. Peter
chains them
together and
says,

'Your
punishment for stepping
on a duck is
to

Spend
eternity chained to
this ugly
man!'

The next
day,

The second
woman steps
accidentally on a
duck

And along
comes St. Peter,

Who doesn't
miss a thing.

With him is
another extremely
ugly man.

He chains
them together

With the
same admonishment as
for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this
and,

Not wanting
to be chained

For all
eternity to an ugly
man, is

very,

VERY

careful where she
steps.

She manages
to go months

Without
stepping on any
ducks,

But

One day
St.Peter comes up to
her

With the
most handsome man
she has ever laid eyes
on

..... Very
tall, long
eyelashes,
muscular.

St.

Peter chains them together without saying a

word.

The happy woman

says,

'I wonder
what I did to
deserve being

Chained to
you for all of
eternity?'

The guy

says,

'I don't
know about you,

But I
stepped on a
Duck.

[retread]

A pastor looked out his window Sunday morning; the sun was up, no clouds, not too warm.....Hmmmm.
He called his assistant and told him to take care of the services, then went to a golf course many miles away.
He teed off and got a hole in one, aced the second hole, and kept going through all the rest.
St. Peter was watching all this, and asked God, "why are you doing this? This guy walked out on his responsibilites today, and doesn't deserve it."
God asked him "who is he going to tell?"

[Smokinspyder]

Speaking of Threads.................... This is old, yet still relevant. And yes, you can find many of MY posts that fit right in.

HOW MANY GROUP POSTERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"
109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....

THAT WAS FUNNY HA HA HA sorry had to post the entire thing !

[Arr MiHardies]

How to Identify Where a Driver is From
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: New Jersey.
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
5. One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Los Angeles.
6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Seattle.
9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.
10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia.
11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida.

12. If you see all of the above in any 5 minute period, you are in Las Vegas.

[Arr MiHardies]

Picture of an inbred cat...

*

*

*

*

*

*

Think you're having a bad week?

*

*

*

*

*

*

image001-1.jpg

An inbred cat is in bread.

[Arr MiHardies]

bad Joke, i know. Had to get it out of my head.
Outside of the boxing gym, there is a long queue of people waiting to meet the newest heavyweight champion. And each, in turn is taken away on a stretcher after the champion hits them with an upper cut or a jab. Curious as to what is going on, Joe gets in line. Finally he gets to the front and takes his turn with the champion. Before the champ can hit him he says, "hey, I've stood in this line for almost an hour now, and all I've seen you do is hit people. What's going on here." The champ replies, "Son, didn't you know? This is the punchline."

[Arr MiHardies]

Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way they are a mile away and shoeless!

[NautiBrit]

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the occasional social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home. I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise since I had never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.



HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[Blue Star]

I would like to share an experience with you , about drinking and driving.

As you know, some of us have been known to "tipple" during this time of the year. Well, last night it happened to me.

Being New Years Eve, I went out for a few drinks with some friends and had way too much very nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the occasional social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had a few too many beers and some rather nice wine.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home. I arrived back safely and without incident which was a real surprise since I had never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

[Arr MiHardies]

I don't procrastinate; there's plenty of time to do that later!