I did the 2023 Tennessee River 600 Jetski Tour!

[Calimusjohn]

RIVER RUN
The Tennessee River 600 is an annual event where participants ride jet skis from Paris Landing (66 miles from the Kentucky state line) to Lenoir City, Tennessee.
Could an 84-year-old man complete the tour? I investigated.
I read the information on the tour’s website. (tennesseeriver600.com) An attached video showed what to expect. Dennis Beckley, a tour founder, has ridden the route twenty-seven times. When I telephoned, he said that age would be no problem. I signed up and paid a nominal entry fee.
CHECK IN
My Yamaha WaveRunner jet ski slid off the trailer into the waters of Paris Landing Marina. The dockmaster showed me where to tie up. I walked across the parking lot to a white box trailer displaying a Tennessee River 600 banner.
Dennis Beckley welcomed me, recorded my arrival, had me sign a waiver, and issued me a logo-ed T-shirt along with a bag of goodies. A shuttle bus carried me the mile to the 3-star Paris Landing Lodge. The room’s balcony provided a magnificent view of the Tennessee River. A refrigerator, microwave, and coffee machine added to my comfort.
In the late afternoon, seventy-eight participants attended a mandatory briefing. I wondered if I would fit-in socially. Would I be the only newbie? Tour leaders welcomed the twenty-one first timers, explained simple rules and procedures. The route, the location of marina gas stops, and places to eat, answered our questions. How to enter a lock and tie onto a rope installed by the police boat crew clarified how fifty jet skis could safely inhabit a relatively small space. I felt less intimidated.
Dinner in the lodge’s dining room provided a second opportunity to meet and eat.

[BLUEKNIGHT911]

Back when I owned a couple Jet ski's ( a Yamie & a Sea Doo ) I thought the Tennessee river would be an excellent journey ..... But it didn't happen & the Jet ski's are long gone ..... good luck and ENJOY the *hit out of it ......Mike

[2dogs]

I'd wear farmer johns with my life jacket and a helmet. Keep your distance because idiots own and operate jet skis too. The brakes on my ski don't work that well, that's why I keep my distance from other jet skiers. Good luck and have fun. Wish I could go too.

[Calimusjohn]

DAY ONE
After a continental breakfast and being shuttled to the marina, I boarded my machine, applied sunscreen, and began a memorable adventure. Leaders stressed: “This is not a race!” A few riders didn’t get the message. Riders raced away at fifty to sixty miles per hour as they bounced across two-foot-high waves. I chose to ride slower. Plumes of white water thrown up by faster jet skis marked the way.
Thirty-seven miles later, I approached Birdsong Marina for my first fuel stop. I joined the line of fifty-three others awaiting a turn at the lone gas pump which issued a single gallon of gasoline/per/minute. It took a long time while sitting in the sun to be serviced and resume travel.
More miles later at Clifton Marina, multiple functioning pumps made fueling go quickly. Lunch filled out belly wrinkles.
One hundred and forty miles after starting, the group arrived at Pickwick Dam and Lock. We put into practice―what we had been briefed on―lock procedures. The police boat and crew entered the lock, tied up at a bollard, and handed an experienced jet ski rider a rope to tie to a bollard across the lock. The rest of us moved forward, parked side-by-side, and hung onto the tightly stretched rope. The lock filled with water. The movement raised us to a new level.
Accelerating jet skis leaving the lock created huge waves that bounced off the lock walls. I did not like being thrown around by the rough water. Minutes later, we tied up at the Pickwick Landing State Park. The lodge is a bit older than the Paris Landing Lodge.
After ten hours on the water, I was hot, tired, dehydrated, sunburned, and pleased to survive the first day. I looked forward to a good dinner and a night’s rest to prepare for the next day’s ride.
One hundred and forty-one miles completed.
DAY TWO
Another continental breakfast started the day. Waveless water allowed a higher speed en route to a gas and lunch stop at River Bottom Grille in Florence, Tennessee.
Milfoil grass grows in warm water. The Tennessee River is warm water. I blithely followed twelve other skis and found myself, and them, in a patch of milfoil. My jet ski ingested the weeds and rapidly bogged down. A bikini-clad beauty removed the weeds from my ski’s engine intake grate. It was a first for me. I’d never had a bikinied helper de-weed me.
Transiting Wilson Dam and Lock preceded a sprint of nineteen miles to the Joe Wheeler Dam and Lock. Another mile brought our day’s ride to an end. The facility needs some TLC.
The Joe Wheeler Marina buffet offered scrumptious fish and chicken for dinner.
The day’s run totaled seventy-two miles. I felt good.
DAY THREE
A buffet featuring eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, cereal, and fruit replaced the waffle-centered breakfasts of the past two days.
A fast passage over mirror-smooth water along the twisting stream invigorated me. Stops along the riverbanks to refresh and swap lies took place every ten miles or so.
Houses along this stretch of the river are built on stilts. Apparently, the river crests well above the banks. One cliff face had recently collapsed. A large home teetered at the edge. Two miles of collapsed buildings and downed trees revealed a recent tornado’s path.
We arrived at Guntersville Dam and Lock three and a half hours ahead of schedule. The lockmaster let thirty early birds through.
Wyndham Gardens Inn clerks welcomed us and let us check in early,
Thirty-two Papa John pizzas purchased by several tour veterans fed the group. An ice cream social followed the pizza fest.
Another eighty-two miles completed. A great day.
DAY FOUR
Another routine day on the Tennessee River loomed. A blue sky, light winds, a winding waterway flanked by hardwood forests and occasional million-dollar homes kept boredom at bay.
A side channel took us to Goose Pond Marina. The narrow buoy-marked channel bordered by thick milfoil weeds demanded attention. Yes, my machine gobbled them. Thankfully, another plus-sized bikinied beauty was swimming nearby and de-weeded me.
An open gate at Nickajack Dam and Lock awaited our arrival. The temperature was 105 degrees. An umbrella provided shade for nine riders. I was one of the nine!
At Hale’s Bar Marina, gas filled my jet ski’s tank. Food filled mine.
Thirty minutes of riding took us through downtown Chattanooga. I smiled at the traffic jammed onto riverside streets. We docked at Marine Max Marina. A shuttle vehicle took us to our 3-star hotel.
Seventy-two more scenic miles logged on.

[safecracker]

Wow, what a good time you must have had. Keep us posted on the finish. Bruce

[Calimusjohn]

DAY FIVE
A cardboard-flavored waffle pretended it was breakfast.
We shuttled to the marina and headed out. Ten miles upstream, Chickamauga Dam and Lock raised us to another level of the river. Locks are no longer intimidating. They are like booths on a toll road, simply a slowing of the day’s progress. Oh, there is no charge at the locks.
Sixty miles upstream, Watts Bar Dam and Lock raised us again. One more gas stop and lunch took place. A final fifty-mile dash through the wandering Watts Bar Lake and I arrived home.
One hundred ten miles of river bottom slid under the keel.
EPILOGUE
River travel began long before roads developed. Exposure to sections of the country unknown to highway travelers is a thrill. The Tennessee River is well-mapped, often traveled, and surrounded by civilization. Yet, there are miles-long stretches of pristine forests and riverbanks never trod on. It’s not hard to imagine being the first to explore virgin territory.
I dropped out twenty-six miles short of the official finish line to avoid going through Ft. Loudon Dam and Lock and then reversing course to get back home.
If you’re a mathematician and add up the day’s totals, you’ll find that I traveled less than the advertised 600 miles. I’d have to ride upriver to Knoxville to do a total of 592 miles.
Would I do the ride again? Yes. I’m already planning on what NOT to take along next year.
Not needed: dress-up clothes, jacket, bottled water
Must haves: rain gear, umbrella, sunscreen (my lower lip sunburned), floppy hat, water shoes, power cords, and chargers for All electronics. (I forgot one.) Take an extra key for jet ski. (I lost mine.)
Nice to have: Marine GPS, Marine radio for contacting locks. Lockmasters also answer the telephone.
Is the ride demanding? Somewhat. I have physical limitations and I’m labeled― Disabled. There were long days (First and Last). It was hot sitting in the locks. Rough water is a challenge. The river is over a mile wide in places and gets choppy. Accommodations were excellent. All luggage was picked up and delivered from/to each hotel lobby. There is no need to haul luggage on the jet ski.
Bottom line . . . if I can do it . . . you can!
My recommendation . . . stop shillyshallying and plan to go next year. The route will be from Lenoir City, Tennessee, to Paris Landing. Beg, borrow, buy, or rent a jet ski.
Oh, to answer the most asked question . . . how much did it cost? The entry fee, hotels, fuel, and food totaled $2,000. As my daddy would often say, “Cheap at twice the price.”

So, can an eighty-five-year-old do the tour?
Stay tuned.